anyone else's MIL been MIA?

cnw112784 · June 2011

My MIL has called me once since I found out I was pregnant...I have tried calling and emailing with no responce really...I honestly dont like her so its no skin off my hide, but it makes me sad for our daughter if she is going to be this absent in her life...im just kind of like you need to decide to be in it or out of it, not in every once in a great while..shes mad because I moved her son 9 hours away, which I understand, but she was an alcoholic his whole childhood and had a really good job here, so there was no reason to stay...my husband really has no respect for her so he says why bother trying...the whole thing is just kinda sad I guess...

jeshapiro · June 2011

My mother in law lives 3000 miles away, but still doesn't show a lot of interest in the baby. Half the time she doesn't respond to texts my husband sends about the baby. When she talks to him on the phone she will maybe ask about the baby at the very end of the conversation, but doesn;t show any excitement or real interest. It makes me sad. I'm hoping it changes a little when we go there to visit next week.

cnw112784 · June 2011

jeshapiro:
My mother in law lives 3000 miles away, but still doesn't show a lot of interest in the baby. Half the time she doesn't respond to texts my husband sends about the baby. When she talks to him on the phone she will maybe ask about the baby at the very end of the conversation, but doesn;t show any excitement or real interest. It makes me sad. I'm hoping it changes a little when we go there to visit next week.

not that im glad of your situation, im glad im not the only one...I see all these great MIL stories and I dont have one at all...and I noticed our babies have the same due date! hopefully its not an Oct 22nd thing, lol j/k

welcometowonderland · June 2011

My MIL is a wackadoo. Okay there were times when she was great, but not lately. For soe reason unknown to me ( I think she has issues) she can't even stand to be around me. The constant up and down in emotions is too much.

She hasn't acknowledged my pregnancy at all. She doesn't even come around the grandkids she already has. There's so much crap and history it's not even funny. Anyhoo, I told my husband that she's not welcome around the kids if she can't play nice.

jeshapiro · June 2011

cnw112784:

jeshapiro:
My mother in law lives 3000 miles away, but still doesn't show a lot of interest in the baby. Half the time she doesn't respond to texts my husband sends about the baby. When she talks to him on the phone she will maybe ask about the baby at the very end of the conversation, but doesn;t show any excitement or real interest. It makes me sad. I'm hoping it changes a little when we go there to visit next week.

not that im glad of your situation, im glad im not the only one...I see all these great MIL stories and I dont have one at all...and I noticed our babies have the same due date! hopefully its not an Oct 22nd thing, lol j/k

I thought I was the only one too. At least my side of the family is beyond excited, which makes it better. I just would expect the same from my husbands family. I guess they just have a different family dynamic then I am used to. Yay for October 22nd babies!

SpinningJess · June 2011

My MIL died in January. She was very ill and scizophrenic. You could never carry on a meaningful conversation with her because she would just drift off to la-la-land halfway through. DH didn't trust her and only contacted her when I pushed him to do so. Crazy as she was, she had a ton of love for our son and I'm kinda sad that she won't be able to meet her granddaughters.

wilsontl19191 · June 2011

I'm happy to see that I am not alone. The minute we got married, my in-laws fell off the face of the earth. As a PP stated, I could care less, but will it be the same once the LO arrives? And could you at least PRETEND to be the least bit excited??? I also feel bad for my DH who is the oldest (he has 2 younger sisters) and they do not show ANY interest in our lives at all. At least my parents are SUPER excited!

Ess-elle · June 2011

She's totally MIA. Hasn't talked to me in over a year, even when face-to-face at family functions. And I couldn't be happier about it.

jwls84 · June 2011

I honestly wish my MIL was a little more MIA. She lives 5 minutes from us and calls everyday! And I know when the baby is here she will never leave my side and I can't stand the thought.

But maybe your MIL will start showing up more once your LO is here. As much as I dislike my MIL I still want my LO to have a relationship with his grandparents.

mydinkdom · June 2011

Yes!! She started acting really weird since my DH's brother got married. He is the golden boy so it was big deal and at the time I was 12 weeks preggo and hadnt told anyone. So about 3 weeks later we did and ever since then she has been sooooo weird and definitely MIA. She is a strange person so Im not sad. But I do try and get her involved and man she just doesnt care. Im sorry for our 2 year old not see his g-ma and for my new LO not to also, but whatever. If she wants to act like a brat for whatever reason its her business.

beyoga · June 2011

My MIL lives on the same property. Our son is her only grandchild (dh's sister has only been on 1 date her entire life & she's older than my husband) and we see her once a month. She's never actually been actively interested in him. I'm fine with that. Yes it's sad but ds is better off without someone like that. You can't force someone else to care. Sorry you're going through this.

kat72883 · June 2011

MH's mom is a bit like that. She only lives like 15 minutes away, and works even closer (and I work on the other side of her house). When we told her we were having a baby, you would have thought we were teenagers, because she freaked out and said she wasn't ready to be a grandmother. We're 28. She was 27 when she had him. She's too wrapped up in her own life. She got married like 2 weeks ago with basically no warning, and she just acts like she's a teenager. Every now and then she asks how I'm feeling (mostly via text, which I'm fine with) but it all seems a little off to me. MH is not that upset about this in particular, but more how he has such a crappy relationship with his mom (this is just the latest). Luckily for both of us, his dad and stepmom are over the moon, as are my parents and stepdad (and everyone lives locally).

newmomma72 · June 2011

My MIL just moved back to VA (from here in NC) and I am a lil relieved. Last month MH ended up in the ER b/c he somehow managed to slice his arm open and we spent over 6 hours getting it stitched up. Last I heard my MIL was mad at me for not calling and telling her Huh?

DH did call her the next day, but this happened at 6 on a Sat evening and I'm sorry I was a lil worried about the fact that MH was gushing blood and about to pass out. So ever since then she hasn't bothered to call me, which she used to do every other day. It bothers me a lil bit, but I am just relieved she moved back to VA b/c whenever we saw her the first thing she always asked was if I was positive I was having a girl and not a boy! The woman has 4 grandsons and 2 great grandsons already!!! I'm just scared that she is going to want to come and spend significant time with us once LO is born. I don't want to keep her from her granddaughter by any means, but the thought of her staying with us is driving me bonkers! (There is no one else here for her to stay with and no way we could ask her to stay in a motel) So I'm just hoping it will be a lil while after we have gotten home and settled in.

wendyll64 · June 2011

I wish...

When she chooses to show interest, it's always in the form of stupid questions..

does baby have hair? It he going to be blond? How big is he going to be at birth? When am I going to go into labour?

Z to Be · June 2011

SpinningJess:
My MIL died in January. She was very ill and scizophrenic. You could never carry on a meaningful conversation with her because she would just drift off to la-la-land halfway through. DH didn't trust her and only contacted her when I pushed him to do so. Crazy as she was, she had a ton of love for our son and I'm kinda sad that she won't be able to meet her granddaughters.

Same. Mine died a few weeks ago and it makes me really sad that she won't get to meet her first grandchild. Crazy or not, every kid needs their grandma.

brownrubino · June 2011

In the six years I've been with my husband, I've spent a total of probably 6 hours with his mom - and never alone. It used to bother me that she wasn't ever there for her own son (ONLY child), but now I think it's better she keeps her distance. DH has even said that he thinks she gets crazier the older she gets. Honestly, this baby boy is going to have some many grandmas & grandpas that love him, I don't think he will miss out on anything with her not being there. (Both of my parents are remarried and DH's dad remarried a long time ago).

scarlettoctober · June 2011

My MIL hasn't been very hands-on, but that's okay with me. This is her 11th grandchild, and to be perfectly honest, unless she has a reason to brag about them in order to get attention, she doesn't really bother with any of them. It could really bother me, but I've known for years that this is how she is. My mom is over the moon about her first grandchild and will be much more involved, so at least DS will have one set of enthusiastic grandparents.

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