Hi all. I've not posted here before, but I've been starting to think about adopting a second child (we have one bio DD). We were planning on IA before I became pregnant with DD and are considering it again for her sibling. We are open to adopting a somewhat older child (maybe between 2 and 6?), which is good because I'm close to being too old to adopt an infant under many countries' programs anyway.
My concern is that DH and I both work outside the home, so DD is in daycare, and our second child presumably would be as well. Do you think it would be ill-advised to adopt a child through IA, particularly an older child who will have spent even more time in an orphanage and might be even further behind developmentally and/or have attachment issues, if one of us won't be able to be a SAH parent? Would it be too difficult to bond with the child under those circumstances, and/or would the child not get what he/she needs to catch up developmentally? With daycare, I would worry that the child wouldn't get enough one-on-one attention, and with a nanny, at least in the early stages of bonding, I would worry that the child might be confused about who mommy is. We would be attentive, loving parents in the time that we did get to spend with the child of course, as we are with DD, but with an IA child, is that enough?
Would you mind sharing your opinions on the subject? And if any of you have any real-life experience to share, I'd love to hear it. We have a while to think about this, as we wouldn't adopt out of birth order anyway, but this has been on my mind as we start to think about how we will complete our family.