Good Monday Morning Everyone!!
I?m looking for some fellow military wife/mother opinions on a situation. Here we go?.
DD is 5 going on 6, H has been deployed since winter of last year and is scheduled home soon. DD is visiting the in-laws for the summer and is having a semi-hard time being away from mommy. She has never been away from me really but she is comfortable with my in-laws, mainly because my neice and nephew are also there to play with her all day. She has been there since last Friday and has only cried when I called once saying she wants to come home. She was with my sister and mother over the weekend and that did not go so well DD was very emotional and wanted me to go get her. Obviously mother and sister were not happy.
H thinks it is good DD will be away when he comes home, he says this has been his hardest deployment yet, he has lost many friends/fellow Marines. DD will not be here when H comes home. SO part one of my saga is?.do you think it is better of worse for your child(ren) to be here when H comes home from deployment knowing he has had a rough deployment and he has voiced it was rough. Granted H will go for therapy, as he has with past deployments, to get his feelings out and sort through the events of the deployment if he needs help. So I am not worried H will deny help if he needs help, I am worried if DD is here for homecoming that she will feel like ?Daddy doesn?t want to talk to me or play with me? and blame herself. WIth past deployments DD was younger and it did not bother her. This deployment was all about Daddy, she started school this past September and all her pictures were her and Daddy, she even was part of a little club at school for children who had deployed parents. So this deployment she understood he was gone, she helped me with the care packages, and would draw him pictures and tell me, "This is for when Daddy comes home"
Second portion of the saga?.My family, sister and mother; feel I am doing more harm to DD by not having her with me when H comes home. Neither of them are military and never have been. They do live in a huge military town so they feel they, ?Know it all?. Mom feels like it?s an ok idea so DD is not all messed up when H comes home. Mind you this is not the first or the last deployment for H but of course Mom knows everything. Now sister is even worse, she says I am going to damage my daughter and make her feel abandoned because I left her with my in-laws for the summer and H has been gone since the winter. Summer being 6 weeks then we will go together, me and H, to pick up DD. Sister and Mother feel disconnected from DD and DD is not a happy camper when she is with Sister or Mother without me.
In my honest opinion I feel DD will be hurt more by the fact H will be quiet and sleep for the first few days. Right now she is mainly hanging out with my niece and nephew at my in-laws house who cater to her every need, they are young teenagers, and they play with her and they tell me she is having a good time. If she comes home she will go to camp and get just as much attention and have fun filled days as well.
Ugh I am so sorry for the long post but I feel you ladies understand what it is to go through deployments with children and have husband?s come home who need time to readjust to the world after a deployment.
Just finished voicing my concerns with H and he said, "Bring her home I will be fine"
Thank you ladies again for your opinions and responses