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Babies: 6 - 9 Months
Quick CIO question - help needed!
I just posted below about LO crying for 18 minutes in a CIO attempt.
Now...what if he wakes in another hour or two? What do i do? CIO again..I feel like i would just die if I had to do it again that soon.
And..what if he wakes in 4 hours? I do not expect him to go from sleeping 2 hours at a time to 12 hours straight in one night....but i dont want to "un-do" what I did this evening by getting him too soon tonight.
Im so confused as to what to do throguhout the night tonight.
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Re: Quick CIO question - help needed!
I only allow R to cry for about an hour and a half before going back in. Usually they won't wake back up, but in the case he does, I let him CIO (with the same time stipulation).
It will probably be fussing if he wakes up again, as he will put himself back to sleep. In the case it isn't, wait a few minutes to see if he situates himself, or pick him up.
Remember, if you don't feel comfortable doing it then, by all means, don't.
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I totally feel you. TOTALLY. But 18 mins is a really, really good sign. Some babies CIO for hours. Your LO will be okay and you are not a bad mom for trying what you know to get him a good night's sleep. Whatever you do, you have to be consistent.
So whatever you did for the 18 mins, you need to again from now on... every night, all night long and for naps. It will be a hellish couple of days, but if I can do it, then you can do it! My LO can cry for and hour or so before he puts himself back to sleep, but his sleep is ten times better since I got a consistent way to deal with his night wakings. He finally naps and puts himself to sleep.
If you nurse at night, choose one time after midnight that you can nurse/FF. Then all other times he wakes up, do whatever it is you did with the 18 mins... CIO, checks, whatever.
I've gotten lucky with a pretty good sleeper, but on the occasions she's gotten overtired and can't sleep well if she wakes up I wait to see if her crying picks up momentum and if not, then she usually whines/whimpers back to sleep.
I understand not wanting to "undo what you did before" but I agree with Kmeek. If it makes you uncomfortable then don't do it. I go in to comfort as often as I feel necessary and to be honest I don't ever let her cry for very long. For us a few minutes of hard crying is exhausting and if I pick her up and calm her down she usually goes down lack a sack of potatoes.
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Here's what we did for CIO for our kids, and I bolded the "nighttime" part:
1. I took away her paci. I think this is key, because it had become a sleep prop where she absolutely needed it to fall asleep. We gave her a winnie the pooh stuffy/blanky thing for her to cuddle, hold, etc. Books I read say this isn't a sleep prop but is rather a "transitional" object. Like, we have pillows and blankets to help us fall to sleep comfortably.
2. Not picking her up. Some people (not Ferber) say to pick up till they stop crying and then put them back down. This seems weird to me. She got visibly angry when she realized we werent going to pick her up, and for a few days, she cried everytime we neared her room. But she's gotten so much better, and doesn't cry at ALL anymore.
3. We used the Ferber idea of intervals. The first night, we went in after 3 minutes of crying, then 5 minutes, then 7 minutes (it took about five additional 7 minute intervals of full out crying to get her to sleep that first night). The second night moved to 5, 7, 10 minutes. The third night was 7, 10, 12 minutes. Etc. The intervals are slightly different than in the book, but Ferber says to do what feels right and that's what worked for us.
4. At night time, we let her CIO / fuss as long as it took for her to fall asleep.
5. In the middle of the night, we didn't go in immediately upon her crying, we just started over with the intervals. Sometimes she fell back asleep before we even had to go in. Sometimes she didnt fall asleep. If she was still fussing/crying at 6 am, we got her up to start the day even though it's earlier than usual.
6. For naps, we use the same intervals. This is where we used a second CIO method (not ferber) for naps. She says to let them fuss/CIO for 1 hr 10 minutes. If they havent fallen asleep by then, take a break and pick them up for 20-30 minutes, giving a bottle if necessary. Then try again. If they havent fallen asleep after ANOTHER 1 hr 10 minutes, it's a "nap emergency" and you are to take them for a stroller or car ride to get them to fall asleep since they need sleep. We never had to do this. She fell asleep some time in the second 1 hr 10 minute wait.
7. If she woke up in the middle of a nap (i.e. after anything under one hour), we waited for, again, the same intervals. If after 25-30 minutes she still wasnt asleep, we ended that nap, and moved up her next naptime to earlier.
8. We also make sure she's not over or under tired, by keeping a close eye on her awake times (which includes everything awake, like feeding, diapering, playing, and the time it takes for the baby to fall back asleep). It's been amazing how her sleep has gotten better resulted in her being able to stay awake closer to her suggested awake time based on age.
Guideline for Awake time for babies
Newborn 50-60 mins
1 month 60 mins-hour and 15
2 months 1 hour and 15 - 20 mins
3 months 1 hour and 20 - 30 mins
4 months 1 hour and 45 - 2 hours
5 months 2 hours - 2.25 hours
Late 5 months/early 6 months 2.25-2.5 hours
6.5 - 7 months 2.75-3 hours. Some are getting more.
8 - 10 months 3 - 4 hours. Some are getting more.
11 - 12 months 3.5 -4.5 hours. Some are getting more if moved early to 1 nap
9. We make sure her bedtime is reasonable: i.e. between 7-8 pm, no later. Babies actually wake up sooner the later they go to bed, since they are often overtired.