I had a total hysterectomy this morning :(
I have been struggling with very painful endometriosis since I was 18 years old and as I have gotten older it has progressively gotten worse. When I had my third laporoscopy 2 years ago, my obgyn told me that I was in stage 3 and that I would eventually need a hysterectomy.
Last night I was out to dinner with my mom, my aunt, and my cousin. All of sudden I started to have excrutiating pain on my very lower left abdomin. I excused myself from the table and went straight to the restroom. I could barely walk because it hurt so badly. I managed to make it to the bathroom and into a stall only to find that I was peeing blood (sorry so gross). I thought it could be a kidney stone so my mom took me to the ER. When we got to the ER they did bloodwork, CT scan, and also tested my urine. All results came back normal and I was told that they were going to discharge me. Mind you, I am still in extreme pain. I questioned the RN, the NP, and the ER doc as to why they were discharging me without finding out what was going on. I was told that because my blood, urine and CT scan came back fine, that my pain was considered "unexplainable" and they had no grounds to admit me or even to keep me for another couple of hours in the ER. At this point I started crying because (1) am so scared about having to go home in this amount of pain and (2) because I am VERY worried that there is something really wrong and (3) because I am so frustrated and furious that these people don't give a $hit about me and are just trying to free up an ER bed for someone else. I took a moment to gather myself together and called my OBGYN. He is in a single-practice and all of his after-hours emergency calls go straight to his cell...which he always answers (this was so awesome, by the way, when I was pregnant). He, of course answers right away at 3am, god bless him. I explained to him what was going on and he immediately admitted me. Literally, within 5 minutes, all three of those DBs were in my room starting my IV, drawing more blood, and ordering an u/s. As it turns out, my left ovary was very enlarged and slightly twisted.
My OB came to the hospital last night and told us that I was going to need to have my hysterectomy sooner rather than later...As in tomorrow. Now, like I said before, I knew it was inevitable that I would be having this surgery but I had hoped not for a couple more years. I was totally unprepared for this.
So here comes the vent: My kids and my husband need me an I need them. It isn't fair to my 4-year-old that I was already in the hospital quite a few times this year with pre-term labor. And on top of that, DH and I were at the hospital for 5 days following my c-section. And the icing on the cake is that my husband has (had) severe Ulcerative Colitis for 7 years. We went from one GI to another and he never responded to any drug treatments so finally in February, he gave in and had the surgery to remove his entire large intestinse...Removal of the colon is the only known cure to this disease and we were out of treatment options. Worst part about the surgery is that it is a series of two procedures a month apart. So my husband was in the hospital for 5 days after the first surgery and 3 days after the second one. I feel absolutely awful for our little guy that he has had to deal with both of us being gone so much.
I feel very badly for leaving my husband high-and-dry to balance work and our 3 kids. We DO have tons of family and friends who are more than willing to help us out but it will still be so hard for him
I know realistically, that at 9-months old, Jack and Lila are not standing in their cribs crying for me but it absolutely kills me to be away from them like this. I miss seeing their huge smiles with their little tiny teeth poking through their gums, I miss the smell and softness of their hair and I miss holding them while they have their nightime bottles. I am so upset that I will not be able to hold wither one of them forr at least the next 3 weeks.
Most of all though, I am so very sad that I no longer have a place for our little frosty. We have one embryo left and have been trying to decide which way we were going to go. We had sort of decided that we were finished after 3 but every single day when I look at my kids, I think of our little frosty and wonder what would happen if we did do a FET. Would it work and we would have another little miracle or would it not work and we would know for sure if this wasn't meant to be.
So, here I am sitting in the hospital bed with all my lady parts gone.I am thinking about how all of this happened so fast. I find myself actually missing my stupid uterus that has caused me so much pain in my life. I mean, afterall, it did keep all three of our brautiful babies safe and sound for us.
I know, ultimately, that there is a plan for me and a plan for our family. I know this wouldn't be happening if there wasn't a reason. But for now and maybe for tomorrow...I am sad
...Oh and I am also mad...stupid DB, POS uterus.
Re: I had a total hysterectomy this morning :(
::hugs:: I am so so sorry, I can't even imagine.
While it may be hectic for your husband right now, he will get through this just fine, and it is not your fault that you have to be in the hospital any more than it was his fault he needed surgeries earlier this year. You can't blame yourself for not being able to help with stuff right now.
So sorry you had to go through this.
Im proud of you for standing your ground with calling your OB. I work in an ER and sometimes it feels like we aren't able to do enough or figure something out. I like when I hear pt take a stand. That'da girl!
I am so sorry.
(((HUGS)))))
I am sure it was a shock... and that can make things hard when you were not expecting it. I know what you are saying about feeling bad to be away from the kids and having DH take the load. Your LOs love you mama. Rest, rest... you will be home soon. Even if you can't pick them up as you heal... you will be there with them. And that is what they want. To see mama....
I am so sorry you are going through all of this! Thank goodness you have such an awesome Doctor. (((HUGS))) Your husband and kids will be ok and they want you to take care of yourself and get better.
I'm so sorry - how scary and painful and difficult to deal with. (((((hugs)))))
As a side note - your hospital sucks - thank goodness you were smart enough to call your OB. I can't believe they were going to send you home. A twisted ovary is no joke.
I am so, so sorry to hear this. What a scary night compounded by total DB emergency docs. Not fair for sure!! You seem to have an excellent attitude and I hope tha tknowing there's a plan helps you find peace and recover quickly. ((HUGS))
If you're willing to share I'm curious what hospital you went to. I'm in Cincy too and definitely don't want those jerks caring for me or my family.
BFP #2 - 12/9/09 After being on bedrest for 10 weeks due to TTTS and hospital bedrest for 4 weeks due to PPROM, my sticky babies are here! Born at 32 weeks!!
I'm so sorry. Can't imagine the shock of hearing that you had to have the hysterectomy so suddenly. Especially after the idiot ER dr were about to send you home in excruciating pain. I'm glad you stood your ground and got your OB involved.
For now, just worry about getting better. It may be hard for your DH to juggle work, house and kids, but he'll get through it.
I'm so sorry - the whole experience sounds terrifying. It's really hard to function with small children when you are incapacitated but I promise the best thing for your kids is for you to take care of yourself and get well. I would ask for all the help you can get. Can your family step in and help?
((hugs))
I want to begin by saying I am so sorry. I wanted to send my thought and prayers to you and your DH and littles ones who are surely missing you at home.
I also wanted to give you a little hope. There is no need to give up on your decision to have another child. When I was 26, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. My DH (who was my fiance at the time) and I harevested before I started chemo and we had 4 frosties. I underwent treatment but when everything was finished I was discouraged from carrying a baby since the hormone changes could cause my cancer to come back. My amazing sister offered to be our gestational surrogate. We put back 2 embryos and both took. We are now blessed with our twins.
My DH and I have discussed whether we are done or not. DH is happy with our family the way it is but I am not sure. Either way we know we have our frosties and can always go the gestational surrogate route again if we want.
Now that we have a family, my oncologist has recommended that I have a hysterectomy this year. We are planning it for October. If you dont mind, I would really appreciate hearing how you are doing and handing everything. But I also wanted to make sure you knew that nothing prevents you from trying to extend your family if you want to. You may have lost some of your lady parts today but you still have your family, your health and hope.
IUI #3 gave us the best 2nd anniv. gift ever: 2 babies! (born 03/09/10)
Peanut and Little Man are getting so big! 2 years old already!
finally blogging again at This Will Be: An Adventure
So sorry hun, BIG HUGS!!! Thank goodness your OB was available, he may have saved your life!
Your little ones are adorable and I am sure they will be so thankful to have their momma home when you are better and even though you may not be able to lift them you can give them a big HUG!
"Just keep swimming, just keep swimming..."
Huge hugs - I am so sorry you had to go through that and everything else you guys have been through.
I hope your hospital stay is short and your recovery is easy.
Hang in there, mama!
I'm so, so sorry.
Please try hard not to feel guilty for the medical issues you have both dealt with. I know it seems hard now, but at the age your children are at, they won't even remember it later on. No permanent damage.
You're doing your best as a Mom. I'm so happy you have such a great doctor. My doctor is like that also. It's invaluable.