WWYD re Godparents
peanut2b
member
My BIL is my DS's godfather and my husband's cousin is his godmother. We are expecting our little girl in early September. Since our son's birth, BIL has basically gone downhill. 2 DUIs within a month, drinks like a fish, yells at his parents, is incredibly irresponsible and basically ignores my son. He has also mentioned NOTHING to his brother about the new baby with one exception. He said "Hey man, what's the rule on being godfather twice? I'm gonna have to get a new suit because my beer gut just won't fit in my old one."
My husband and I (thankfully) agree that we do NOT want this man to be the godfather to our little girl. We don't want him to be someone that she will look up to the most. (the likelyhood of him changing is slim...he is filling the mold of 75% of his family).
We would like my uncle to be her godfather because he has really been the strongest, kindest, and most trustworthy man we know. The problems: We would have to fly him here and then we would only see him once a year....and the fact that obviously BIL will get his feelings hurt. He has a habit of assuming things before being asked...such as being best man at our wedding....DH wanted his best friend but after he heard his brother talking about making a speech, didn't want to hirt his feelings....
So what would you do?
Re: WWYD re Godparents
Listen to yourself and choose the person that you would be proud to be a godfather to your baby. You don't owe BIL this title just because he assumes it will be him. If he's not the person you want your baby to look up to, I say don't pick him and don't feel badly about it either.
I faced this same situation with my sister. She is not a bad person, but is just not the person I feel closest to and my friend shows many more qualities that we want our baby to model after, so I chose her instead. I know my sister's feelings will be hurt as well, but I'm doing what's best for our baby. I know it won't be the last time she or my family disagrees with one of my choices, but that's ok because DH and I will do what's best for us. Good luck!
Yea, DO NOT worry about hurting BIL's feelings. First of all, he is already godfather, I don't think typically that means you are godfather for all siblings. Secondly, you dont want him to be the godfather and he's not a great example.
Pick someone you want to choose!