Pregnant after a Loss

Vacation next week- need advice!

I'm headed off to Sanibel Island next week to spend 5 days with my parents, sister, cousin, aunt, & uncle. I am very excited about going but am stressing just a little bit. My immediate family obviously knows I'm pg but my cousin, aunt, & uncle don't. My dilemma is that when I bloat I look like I'm 4-5 months pg, and I won't be drinking. We usually drink a lot at the beach so I know that alone will bring about questions.

I am not quite ready to tell them. They really took it hard when I m/c and while I have seen my LO and it's cute little hb and know in my heart that everything is ok, I still feel a little uneasy saying anything to them before the first tri is up.

Am I being crazy? What would you ladies do?

 

Me 36 DH 38
Married 1/22/10
BFP #1 3/11 m/c 7w 3d blighted ovum
BFP #2 5/11 DD born 1/12
BFP #3 3/16 Chemical Pregnancy
BFP #4 12/16 m/c 7w blighted ovum

Re: Vacation next week- need advice!

  • eh, that's a tough one. but no - not crazy! i know exactly how you're feeling.

    when i went home to PA to visit earlier this month, i told DH that we would just tell everyone i'm on antibiotics because of an infection and i couldn't drink. but then - the bloat came and it was totally obvious in the evenings, and hard to hide in a bathing suit. this was also before my ultrasound, and i wasn't comfortable telling people either. but once i got there, it just felt right to tell them, close family and friends that is, not everyone.

    i would just see how you feel when you get there. maybe it will feel right to tell them, and just make sure you stress to them that you are not telling ANYONE and you haven't even been to the doctor yet. if you really aren't comfortable, make up a silly white lie. white lies never hurt anyone!

    that's a tough one love, hopefully, whatever choice you make will feel okay with.

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    ? BFP #1 EDD 10/18/2011. Twin Blighted Ovums 3/10/11. D&C on 3/11/11 ?
    ?BFP #2 5/19/2011 ? 9/1/2011 - it's a BOY!!! ? Jace Matthew born 1/23/12 ?

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    ?BFP 6/21/2012 - EDD 3/5/2013 - natural MC 7/22/2012 at 7w ?
    ?BFP 10/24/2012 - EDD 6/26/2013, grow little one grow!?

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  • that's a hard one.  we told my family on vacation last week and they all said they "knew".  don't know if they were just guessing in their minds or had suspicions.  but most did not say anything until we officially told them.  that being said, I was 12 weeks last week.  I had decided I still was going to tell them no matter how far I was but it was nice just to get it off my chest.  I actually ended up feeling very sick most of the week due to the pregnancy so it helped that they knew.  GL!
    Asher Thomas 5.19.10
    Miles Edmund 12.29.11
    Liam Robert 1.21.14
    Baby 4...ok probably another boy here haha 9.20.15
  • That's really tough... I like the antibiotics idea! Can you just hold drinks in your hand?  Hmm... whatever you decide will be the right choice!

    BFP 2/14/11 MC 2/28/11 BFP #2- 6/12/11- Austin born 2/22/12 Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • imageJeanine88:

    That's really tough... I like the antibiotics idea! Can you just hold drinks in your hand?  Hmm... whatever you decide will be the right choice!

    OH this reminds me!

    my friend before, pretended to drink. she would get a beer, and go to the restroom and dump it out, and rinse it. then she'd fill it with water or apple juice. she'd just keep reusing that first beer bottle, no one ever knew! it was actually pretty slick.

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    ? BFP #1 EDD 10/18/2011. Twin Blighted Ovums 3/10/11. D&C on 3/11/11 ?
    ?BFP #2 5/19/2011 ? 9/1/2011 - it's a BOY!!! ? Jace Matthew born 1/23/12 ?

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    ?BFP 6/21/2012 - EDD 3/5/2013 - natural MC 7/22/2012 at 7w ?
    ?BFP 10/24/2012 - EDD 6/26/2013, grow little one grow!?

    Pregnancy Ticker
  • ksulliksulli member
    For the bloat, you could tell them you've been over-eating from the stress of the m/c and TTCAL. For the drinking- my ILs stayed with us before I was ready to tell, so I made sure to be the one getting & mixing drinks. Then yours is either a virgin version, or take an empy beer bottle (so long as it's a green or brown bottle) and fill it with water. Just make sure your parents know what you're doing so they don't spill the beans with something like 'should you be drinking that!?!'. It does take it a little far, but if you pull that off they won't even ask, and sometimes that's worth it.
    *Married 10.10.08*
     image
    TTC #1 9.09 - BFP#1:2.18.10= missed m/c, D&C 4.16
    BFP#2:10.22.10=Avelin born 7.2.11
    TTC#2: 2.13 - BFP#3: 7.25.13=Kelsey born 3.31.14
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