I had a really crappy last 2 days. A little history: My dd has severe hydronephrosis of her right kidney/mild reflux of the left. We found out at my 20 week ultrasound and she's been through multiple awful tests since birth. We saw her urologist when she was 8 weeks old and he gave us 3 scary horrible options, the least horrible of which seemed to be surgery sometime between 6 months and a year to remove her right kidney because it's so badly damaged and barely functioning. Apparently if they don't remove it, it can compress other organs and cause infection.
So here we are now, almost 3 months later. I am not expecting to hear from the urologist again until after the holidays. DD is doing really well, can't tell anythings wrong with her other than she has to take a small dose of meds every day, and so I try to push the scary parts of the future out of my mind. Well yesterday I get a call and it's the urologist office telling me that they want me to come in next week because the dr will be out of town most of December (must be nice). They want to see her now and plan surgery for early spring. So I have to start thinking about it again, but I try to convince myself this is for the best and that we can just get it done and over with and hope to God that I do not lose my sweet baby, I am terrified of what will happen during surgery.
So I wake up today feeling still on edge but basically accepting the whole thing. Then I get my new medical insurance packet at work. Turns out that unless I go with a certain hospital system, my copay is astronomical for her surgery and hospital stay after the first of the year. We are talking thousands of dollars. I can't go with the certain hospital system because they don't have a pediatric urologist on staff. So we are basically screwed.
The urology office says that we can discuss moving her surgery up to sometime in December. (Merry First Christmas DD ) Also, I am pretty sure that the anesthesia is a little more safe the older they are. So I am terrified, feel sick to my stomach, and completely unsure of what to do.
The kicker is this, dd arrived 5 weeks early and was only 4 lbs 12 oz. If she had arrived on time and was bigger, there was a chance they could have done surgery immedietely and probably saved her kidney. I feel like this is my fault even though they said I did nothing to cause her to come early.
Thanks for listening.