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Toddlers: 24 Months+
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Moms of 2+

CytinaCytina
in Toddlers: 24 Months+

Is your 2nd LO (or 3rd, etc.) getting the short end of the stick?  I feel so bad for P.  Shortly after S was born, we had a naming ceremony for him (we gave him his Hebrew name, I know it's not recognized by the Jewish religion to do it that way but we thought it was neat since I'm not Jewish, but MH is and we're raising them with both faiths).  Around his first birthday, we took him to Picture People and had a formal session and spent a ton on framed prints.  During his first year, I put together a scrapbook which culminated with a page that all of the attendees of his party signed.  P did not have a naming ceremony nor a photo shoot, and I made a photo book on Shutterfly with pix from his first year but since it wasn't "handmade" I feel it's not as good.

I keep telling myself it's only now, while money is tight and S is so high maintenance... As they get older, it will even out more right?  They both get equal love and affection at least.  *sigh*

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Re: Moms of 2+

  • Panda53321Panda53321

    KJ went more places than the twins go, but I was more flexible with his schedule since I could nap him later, with them I am bit more strict.  I do try to take them places and do things as much as possible but there are some things that are a wee bit difficult to do since I have 3 kiddies with me. 

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  • Panda53321Panda53321
    My guilt lies in the fact that KJ had tons on clothes so William gets a whole lot of hand-me-downs (great shape but still hand-me-downs) Sarah and KJ pretty much get all new.
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  • KimWKimW
    A little I think.  Big ditto on the pictures.  DS just turned 1 yesterday, so I need to get my butt in gear and make an appointment.  DD got the best food ever, mostly veggies, no junk.  Now, they both get whatever I can through on the table.  I do make it up to him in other ways though.  I snuggle way more with him then I did with DD, since I know how soon it's going to be over.  I play more with him, since I'm already playing w/ DD.  DS gets to have a lot more fun and more trips, since DD is at the age where we can do that stuff with her now.  So hopefully it all balances out??
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  • Spin313Spin313 member
    I think it all kind of evens out. When we're home, DS often has to wait for things because I am busy with DD; but we go out a lot, so DD has to be more flexible. I still try to take lots of pictures of both kids, and I am working on DD's scrapbook(s) now (I've already scrapped DS's first two years).
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  • MaxandRubyMaxandRuby member
    It depends on how you look at it. In my situation, DS1 is kind of getting the short stick. DS2 is special needs so he gets more attention due to the number of therapies we have every week plus what we do with him at home between therapies. I also probably take more pictures of DS2 just so I can catch every little thing he does in case I need picture proof to talk to therapists about. In regards to professional type pics though, DS1 got more of those.  I do try to take DS1 with me on errands so we have 1 on 1 time together.
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  • LoveEeyoreLoveEeyore member

    Hmm.  Yes and no.  Yes b/c I was unable to rock and nurse and gaze into their eyes for hours uninterrupted for months like I did with #1.  Yes, because they were like 12 months old before I started to sit down and read to them, where as my first wasn't even 24 hours old before I first held her to my heart and read to her.  Yes because their naps are gypped because of driving #1 to/from preschool, to playdates, etc. 

    No because they have a much more amusing person to look up to- big sister.  No because they have one more person in the world that worships them than she did.  No because they got a much more relaxed mommy than I was with my first.  I was afraid to break her- with them I'd latch one by dangling him by a foot upside down while changing his twin's diaper if necessary (exaggeration). 

    I think it's awash.  I definitely  believe more than ever now that birth order plays a part in personality but sticks twirl, you never know who's got which end at any point.

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  • Max'smomMax'smom member

    I like KimW said. I think and hope it ballances out. I think Max got more pictures, time, things. Sam has a lot of hand me down clothes and toys. I was way more strict with what Max was able to eat and Sam just gets whatever, so he had sweets much sooner than Max ever did. But on the flip side Sam has done way more than Max did as far as outings and I think he has more freedom to run around and I don't hover like I did with Max.

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  • Mrs.SaxyMrs.Saxy member

    I don't think it has anything to do with equal love and affection. We're just busier now.

    I have taken significantly less pictures of DS2. 

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