sister in law vent wwyd?

YisraelAmmi23 · June 2011

I am so pissed right now... I needed to vent to someone... My sister in law, who I thought was so great for giving us all her baby girl clothes, bouncer seat, etc, etc because they were done having kids JUST TEXTED ME AND ASKED FOR ALL THE GEAR BACK?!?!? She said I could keep the clothes, but she has a friend who is due in October, and she told her she would get them from me so she could use them. Um, excuse me, my baby will just be getting into the johnny jumper, and the baby backpack carrier....really???

Ohhhhh, I'm boiling right now. At least it's yardsale season. Maybe I can find it all. I'm packing it all up and sending it with my mother in law to my nieces' 1st bday party in 2 weeks (because I don't want to be her storage shed)...which we are not going to anymore... I hope I'm not being irrational..

wwyd?

Gina418 · June 2011

Wow - that's annoying! But don't take it out on your niece - go to her 1st bday party. Bring all the stuff with you and tell her that you hope her friend actually gets a chance to use all of it (with a smile of course!).

If you have a Once Upon A Child near you they carry a lot of the basics for reasonable prices.

Ciaram22 · June 2011

I would tell her that she already gifted them to you so she can't take them back. Make her friend be the one to scout out the garage sales.

ARC 07 · June 2011

I would only give back the stuff you had no use for or LO has grown out of and tell her you are using the other things. That is so rude for her to give them to you and then ask for them back to give to someone else. I understand if she needed them herself, but not to pass onto to someone else. You are being super nice not to say something to her.

muddin_lil_sis · June 2011

I'm right there with ya. DH's stepsister gave us 3 or 4 huge bags of clothes, infant carrier, and some misc stuff. She has called me 3 times to ask for specific things back. 1 item she never gave me, 1 I gave back, and 1 I told her no. The infant carrier was bought by DH's dad and stepmom. They told us we could have it when nephew outgrew it. He outgrew it several months before my DS was born. My parents bought us a carrier as well, but we have one in my car and one in DH's truck. Since the inlaws bought it and told us we could have it, I told her no. She got over it.

I think its rediculous she's asking for all that stuff back! I'm mad for ya! Definetly check yard sales and consignment shops. We've got a couple local ones here and I've bought a lot of stuff there. Gear thats in great condition and at decent prices!

YisraelAmmi23 · June 2011

Thanks for the support guys.. The crazy thing is on Father's Day she told me she wanted me to come over that she had MORE stuff for me. Heck no, I'm not taking ANYTHING else from her. I feel like she's using me to hold onto stuff that she doesn't want taking up space in her garage, but she wants to hold onto it for friends, which apparently I'm not I guess. So sad. This one is always causing family drama...that's why I'm keeping my mouth shut, I don't want drama. I'll just be mad and eventually get over it.

Shelleybell · June 2011

while I think your sister-in-law is absolutely disgusting for doing this, I agree with the above poster of not taking it out on your niece.

I would not give back the items that she gave you that your little one will be using.

KERJF · June 2011

I think that she is being ridiculous and very rude.

However, I would still go to the birthday - it isnt your nieces fault that her mom is a dipsh*t

lindsay.lou · June 2011

You are completely justified in being pissed, that is beyond rude. To avoid conflict, I'd just give it all back and not say anything about it. However, I'd never accept anything from her again.

This is exactly why I was leery of hand-me-downs.

YisraelAmmi23 · June 2011

lindsay.lou:
You are completely justified in being pissed, that is beyond rude. To avoid conflict, I'd just give it all back and not say anything about it. However, I'd never accept anything from her again.
This is exactly why I was leery of hand-me-downs.

I was too, but I asked her several times, "You're sure you're really done with these and want to get rid of them?" she said "Yes, take it and whatever you don't want give away or throw out."

Boy I'm glad I didnt do that!

lindsay.lou · June 2011

YisraelAmmi23:
lindsay.lou:
You are completely justified in being pissed, that is beyond rude. To avoid conflict, I'd just give it all back and not say anything about it. However, I'd never accept anything from her again.
This is exactly why I was leery of hand-me-downs.

I was too, but I asked her several times, "You're sure you're really done with these and want to get rid of them?" she said "Yes, take it and whatever you don't want give away or throw out."

Boy I'm glad I didnt do that!

Wow. She has BALLS asking for that stuff back.

Ivana_Stolichnaya · June 2011

You can't GIVE someone stuff and then ask for it back...it's no longer hers to make such demands.

Jram85 · June 2011

Ciaram22:
I would tell her that she already gifted them to you so she can't take them back. Make her friend be the one to scout out the garage sales.

This! I would REFUSE to give her the items she gave you back! That is absolutely ridiculous.

Jram85 · June 2011

Ciaram22:
I would tell her that she already gifted them to you so she can't take them back. Make her friend be the one to scout out the garage sales.

This! I would REFUSE to give her the items she gave you back! That is absolutely ridiculous.

kjj834 · June 2011

That is absolutely ridiculous!! It makes me pissed for you! I would only give her back the stuff you have used and outgrown.

RJHarmon · June 2011

CTGirl30:
You are a much nicer person than I. Honestly, my response woulod be "I'm sorry but we're still using the items. I was under the impression that you had gifted these items to us without condition - as in you wouldn't be asking us to return them to you." And then that leaves the ball in her court (to hopefully apologize but I doubt it) and also lets her know you will not be treated like that. She's an asshat.

But I agree - don't miss your little neice's 1st birthday party because her mother is a tactless beeyotch. Go for her sake and keeping family peace if you want to do that (b/c honestly I don't think you refusing to attend is going to help matters) but you don't have to let your SIL pull that crap with you, either. Just tell her straight up you are still using the items - sorry.

Yes

HappyAardvark · June 2011

1. I agree with pp's who said you should just respond with "I thought you had given these to us because you were done with them, and we plan on using them, so we will not be able to give the items to your friend right now. But we're happy to give anything we don't use or don't plan on using back to you if you like."

2. If her friend is due in October, she's not going to be needing the stuff for several more months anyway, so what even gives with the request for anything back??? But as far as actually giving the stuff back, see point #1.

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