Hey Ladies -- it's been a while since I've been on here. I was taking some time from the website after my miscarriage...
We're totally ready for our next pregnancy, but it's starting out hard. I have had a cycle since, which is good, but I rarely get to see my husband in order to start trying again! Our schedules SUCK and half the time one of us is so exhausted from work that it's the last thing we want to do when we just want to close our eyes for the night because they can't stay open any longer. We both want to make time, but it's been hard.
Also, some other friends are pregnant and that's been harder on me than when I hadn't ever gotten my BFP in the first place. I'm totally happy for them, but there's that part of me that's so friggin jealous that I need to work to be happy for them...and that shouldn't be the case. It makes me feel like a horrible person when I need to make myself be happy for them and cast aside the jealousy.
I don't know if I'm looking for anything from any of you, I guess I just needed to get it all out. I feel a little bit better, but I'm still a little bummed....thanks for reading my rambling : )
Re: It's been a while -- I need to vent : (
I think it's completely normal to be both happy for them and jealous as all get-out, so don't feel bad about it. Well, you probably will anyway, but you don't have to hang on to the guilt on top of all the other feelings!
I hope your next BFP comes soon. Nothing you guys can do about your schedules to make it easier on yourselves? Maybe take a "mental health day" or two around your fertile window to enjoy each other's company and hump like bunnies?
Antijenic Drift - my blog
Sorry for your loss! And that you are having a rough time. I think each day is its own task to try and be happy for others, not feel jealous or sad for yourself. Some people will say "how else should people respond" when you find out others are PG and people are over the moon about it. Of course we would never want someone to say "so what" but it doesnt make it any less painful. Funny thing, I keep it together for the most part...but...the only person i can be happy for and not jealous of is my friend who started TTC at the same time as us, got PG, lost it at 6wk and is now PG again. After seeing what she went through, its made me feel less sorry for myself and my stingy ovaries that wont give up those eggs.
Anyway, my motto: one day. at. a. time
Feel better!