I feel like a terrible mama...

LaurenL977 · June 2011

...I feel like I can never get my DS to sleep at night. All he seems to do is cry when I try. As soon as DH comes in and asks, "Do you need any help?" I immediately give DS to him because I just can't take it anymore. Tonight, I actually started crying because I just couldn't seem to console my LO. What is wrong with me? Anyone else ever feel this way? Maybe I am the only mama in the world that can't calm her own son down or put him to sleep. This has been happening the past couple of nights, and I just keep feeling worse about it.

AimeeL85 · June 2011

We had a period where it was always like that for us, too, and it was probably right around that time. Once we realized what time he wanted to go to bed and started a routine with him for before bed, he relaxed. Have you tried putting him in his crib instead of holding him to try and get him to go to sleep (if you are)? I have heard some people say that ended up being what their LO wanted all along.

catycate · June 2011

I know that you've heard this before, but remember: The baby can sense when you get tense. We went through that and it was so stressful for me that I got tense just thinking about bedtime! A couple nights of for me to relax (DH took over like a star) and I had my baby bedtime grace back!

LaurenL977 · June 2011

AimeeL85:
We had a period where it was always like that for us, too, and it was probably right around that time. Once we realized what time he wanted to go to bed and started a routine with him for before bed, he relaxed. Have you tried putting him in his crib instead of holding him to try and get him to go to sleep (if you are)? I have heard some people say that ended up being what their LO wanted all along.

For a few weeks, we loosely started a bedtime routine, but don't really stick to it every night. What seems to mess us up is that he doesn't eat/sleep the same everyday during the day....So tonight, he went to sleep at like 6pm and we thought we were in the clear...but then he woke up at about 7pm (which is when we were starting his routine at night, even though it usually takes anywhere between and hour and hour and a half to actually get him to sleep). The problem with just putting him in his crib is that if he drops his pacifier, he usually ends up waking himself up so we have to constantly put it back in.

LaurenL977 · June 2011

AimeeL85:
We had a period where it was always like that for us, too, and it was probably right around that time. Once we realized what time he wanted to go to bed and started a routine with him for before bed, he relaxed. Have you tried putting him in his crib instead of holding him to try and get him to go to sleep (if you are)? I have heard some people say that ended up being what their LO wanted all along.

For a few weeks, we loosely started a bedtime routine, but don't really stick to it every night. What seems to mess us up is that he doesn't eat/sleep the same everyday during the day....So tonight, he went to sleep at like 6pm and we thought we were in the clear...but then he woke up at about 7pm (which is when we were starting his routine at night, even though it usually takes anywhere between and hour and hour and a half to actually get him to sleep). The problem with just putting him in his crib is that if he drops his pacifier, he usually ends up waking himself up so we have to constantly put it back in.

LaurenL977 · June 2011

catycate:
I know that you've heard this before, but remember: The baby can sense when you get tense. We went through that and it was so stressful for me that I got tense just thinking about bedtime! A couple nights of for me to relax (DH took over like a star) and I had my baby bedtime grace back!

Now after the past couple of nights, I am definitely stressed out about bedtime! I tried really hard to be calm tonight, but I just lost it... DH put him to bed originally (gave me a break), but DS woke up a little while later, so it was my turn, I guess.

AggieBeth06 · June 2011

My dear, you are not a bad mama! We have been going through this - 4+ hour long bedtimes and multiple nightwakings for almost 2 months. There have been weeks that I have had a sobbing cry on a daily basis. It is so frustrating to not know what's wrong, and have LO wail no matter what you do.

I find it exasperating and incredibly lonely.

Have you checked LO to make sure their health is in order? DS has reflux and it took me 6 weeks to think about upping his dose... Mom of the year. Right here.

I've also read that they can be overstimulated during the day, which can cause them to be overtired and unable to wind down. Keep all new and excitings to the morning hours and make the last wakeful period to be incredibly quiet and nearly dull.

Maybe it's a growth spurt? maybe it's time to consider sleep training (I havent gotten to use it yet too much since DS is not well, but I found the baby whisperers book to be very helpful). Although know that LO is too young to CIO.

Dont beat yourself up. It will not always be this way although it feels like it will be. And it's not your fault that LO isn't settling down. Plus remember that crying is okay as long as you pick yourself up and dust yourself off (no matter how exhausted you are).

(((((hugs)))))

RumbleLina · June 2011

DS goes through periods of "I want mom" and then "I want dad". What sucks is that I am the only one that is here at night M-F so he doesn't have a choice if he is in a dad mode so those nights are horrible. I usually put him down, step away, regroup, and try again.

ABizzity · June 2011

Right around 3 mo, DS would get super cranky and fussy and bed time became a nightmare. I moved his bedtime up almost an hour and he went down so easy. Maybe give that a try? I think he was getting overtired.

Wufroggy79 · June 2011

We've had some nighttime changes around here too. C has been getting herself overtired and SUPER cranky at night. We moved up her bedtime to eight, and it hasn't changed her sttn and wake time in the morning so far. Also, we just recently have decided to put her down in the crib instead of rocking and holding. Knock on wood, she's only cried for 1-2 minutes and then started talking to herself, then sucking her hands, and then putting herself to sleep. All in all, bedtime took 20 minutes from the time I put her down until she fell asleep. Lots faster than the rocking and still crying that had been happening. Good luck, and do NOT feel bad! He loves his mama too!

LaurenL977 · June 2011

AggieBeth06:

Have you checked LO to make sure their health is in order? DS has reflux and it took me 6 weeks to think about upping his dose... Mom of the year. Right here.

The pediatrician recently put DS on Zantac for reflux (we weren't even sure that was definitely the problem, but the pedi said to try and that we would immediately notice a difference during feedinds if that was the issue). So, after a couple of days on this, feedings seemed to go a bit smoother--no kicking and screaming during the entire feeding, but still occasionally. If his dose needed to be increased, could it be the reason he screams at nighttime? He isn't really fussy any other time of day except around bedtime.

Thanks for all of your support, ladies. I haven't Bumped in awhile, but I'm glad I did.

LaurenL977 · June 2011

ABizzity:
Right around 3 mo, DS would get super cranky and fussy and bed time became a nightmare. I moved his bedtime up almost an hour and he went down so easy. Maybe give that a try? I think he was getting overtired.

We are still trying to figure out naps during the day (although I thought we had them all figured out--for awhile at least). The last couple of days, his afternoon nap has started earlier than usual, which of course throws him off for the nighttime!

AggieBeth06 · June 2011

LaurenL977:
AggieBeth06:

Have you checked LO to make sure their health is in order? DS has reflux and it took me 6 weeks to think about upping his dose... Mom of the year. Right here.

The pediatrician recently put DS on Zantac for reflux (we weren't even sure that was definitely the problem, but the pedi said to try and that we would immediately notice a difference during feedinds if that was the issue). So, after a couple of days on this, feedings seemed to go a bit smoother--no kicking and screaming during the entire feeding, but still occasionally. If his dose needed to be increased, could it be the reason he screams at nighttime? He isn't really fussy any other time of day except around bedtime.

Thanks for all of your support, ladies. I haven't Bumped in awhile, but I'm glad I did.

Zantac is based on weight, so it's not likely. If it is reflux, you may need to experiment with a different medicine.

It could also be an allergy. The symptoms are similar to reflux. If it persists, I recommend pushing for some allergy testing.

Teething? Growth spurt? Too hot? Too cold? Gas? Those are other things to consider.

Good luck and post back if you figure it out!

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