In need of naptime help :(

MsPurple24 · June 2011

I know baby steps are essential, I need to remind myself of that. But I could also use some advice if you have any. This will be long, my apologies in advance.

We've been working on transitioning H from Moby to crib for naps, and so far it's going pretty well. She'll finally let us put her down in the crib, but the length of the nap seems to vary from 5 minutes to 45 minutes (with a 2-hour nap that happened once, but we haven't been that lucky since). Blog post here if you want more background, but there's not much else to tell.

That's not really my problem, because I understand that she will probably stretch those naps out as she gets used to sleeping in her crib during the day. My problem is that we've gotten ourselves into a routine of 2 mini-naps between each feeding, which is not working for anyone. She wakes up from her first nap and thinks she's ready to play, so we can't get her to go back to sleep. But she's still tired, so she then has to go back down for a second nap until she eats again.

This is the pattern during the day:

Feed (15 minutes)

Awake/play (60-90 minutes)

1st nap in crib (usually 30 minutes)

Wakes up, wants to play (15-30 minutes... gets tired and grumpy)

2nd nap in crib or Moby

Feed (she feeds every 4 hours exactly- her schedule, not mine!)

Now, that 2nd nap is the brutal one, because she fights it. It's as if she's overtired, so she fights going down in her crib, and I usually have to put her back in the Moby (where she will automatically go to sleep easily), but that's exactly what we're trying to get away from. What I need to do is get her to take ONE nap, not 2 mini ones with the second being a batlle.

Sorry this got so long, but this baby doesn't make anything easy. I've tried new going-to-sleep strategies, like laying down with her, cuddling in the glider, even nursing to sleep. Nope. She requires swaddling with major bouncing and rocking to go to sleep, and the second time around, she just fights me.

Advice? Please? I'm so incredibly frustrated and tired of fighting with her.

ETA: I should mention that a few people have suggested that she might sleep better/longer on her stomach. I would love to try that, but we're still swaddling, and the few times that we've tried NOT swaddling, she woke up the instant we tried to put her down. So any de-swaddling tips would also be appreciated!

SarahCee · June 2011

First off, kudos to you for not losing your sh!t.

If she were a bit older I'd say maybe she needs to CIO. Does she have any comfort items, like a paci? Maybe time to introduce a small lovey, cuddle it with her when she's nursing and leave it in her crib. I'm sorry, I really hope she starts napping better, for everyone's sake. I hope you get some sound advice, GL!

futrkingsley · June 2011

DS took short naps like that for the whole first year of his life if I was lucky. If I was unlucky, he just didn't nap. It wasn't until he consolidated his nap that he slept longer than 45 minutes at a time during the day.

Some questions:

What is it that you think she SHOULD be doing instead?

Is it possible to nurse/cuddle/rock her back to sleep before playing with her when she wakes after the first 30 minutes? That was the only way I could get DS to occassionally sleep a longer stretch during the day. It only worked about 30% of the time.

Is it possible something is waking her up?

And if the biggest issue for you is the fighting with her over her nap, I'd stop fighting and see what happens.

Hope this improves for you soon.

EmmieB · June 2011

we STILL Don't have reliable naps...I feel your pain. I found that if I switched my focus from "naptime" to "quiet time" then at least I felt rested. And I embrace sleep wherever it happens...which is why there's always a book in my car.

good luck!

NorcalLinds · June 2011

I wish I had the magic solution for you. I can feel your frustration over the Internet! With both my kids Day time naps without being in a carrier developed between 4-6months, and honestly closer to 6months. The only advice I have is, if you are having a really hard time getting her down and you have to wear her in the moby, grab yourself a beer.

MsPurple24 · June 2011

SarahCee:
First off, kudos to you for not losing your sh!t.

If she were a bit older I'd say maybe she needs to CIO. Does she have any comfort items, like a paci? Maybe time to introduce a small lovey, cuddle it with her when she's nursing and leave it in her crib. I'm sorry, I really hope she starts napping better, for everyone's sake. I hope you get some sound advice, GL!

I know that CIO is an option (and some people may have remembered me asking about CIO at one month because I was so distraught!) but I don't know if I have it in me.

Yes, she has a paci and that could be part of the problem- she will frequently wake up because the paci has fallen out of her mouth, waking her up. We find ourselves running into the nursery to replace the paci on a regular basis.

I could use a lovey... but we're still swaddling, so it's not like she can hold onto something. Maybe that would be a possible replacement for the swaddle?

MsPurple24 · June 2011

futrkingsley:

Some questions:

What is it that you think she SHOULD be doing instead? I guess I think she should be awake longer and then sleeping 1.5-2 hours until her feeding, since she seems to need that much sleep. The problem is that we put her down 90 minutes after feeding, for fear of letting her get overtired (because we've been down that road and it's not pretty). So the timing doesn't work out the way I think it *should*.

Is it possible to nurse/cuddle/rock her back to sleep before playing with her when she wakes after the first 30 minutes? That was the only way I could get DS to occassionally sleep a longer stretch during the day. It only worked about 30% of the time. Yeah, and it only works about 30% of the time for us, too. I try that each time, but she's usually so wide awake that the attempt is futile.

Is it possible something is waking her up? Sometimes losing her paci is waking her up, and other times she simply opens her eyes and starts to look around. It's interesting that it frequently happens at exactly 30 minutes, so I think it might be a sleep cycle thing...

And if the biggest issue for you is the fighting with her over her nap, I'd stop fighting and see what happens. What happens is the awake, overtired baby. And then we have a tantrum. That's what happened yesterday.

Hope this improves for you soon. Thank you!!

MsPurple24 · June 2011

NorcalLinds:
I wish I had the magic solution for you. I can feel your frustration over the Internet! With both my kids Day time naps without being in a carrier developed between 4-6months, and honestly closer to 6months. The only advice I have is, if you are having a really hard time getting her down and you have to wear her in the moby, grab yourself a beer.

I'm not a beer drinker, but today I did the equivalent. Put her in the Moby and bounced on the exercise ball while watching Real Housewives of New Jersey.

ladipale · June 2011

Ellie is also a short napper during the day unless we are in the car. All her epic naps happen in the car. Does she sleep in the stroller at all? Ellie will also nap longer in the stroller and i find I can get in a long walk at some point on the days I'm home with her. And if she's not napping, she is actually very happy staring at the trees and feeling the breeze. (we switched from no longer having her in the infant seat, just in the BOB about 6 weeks ago)

I've thought about CIO for naps, but it doesn't translate well to daycare where they really can't let babies CIO. I wish I could figure out longer daytime naps so I could work from home more consistently.

futrkingsley · June 2011

MsPurple24:
futrkingsley:

Some questions:

What is it that you think she SHOULD be doing instead? I guess I think she should be awake longer and then sleeping 1.5-2 hours until her feeding, since she seems to need that much sleep. The problem is that we put her down 90 minutes after feeding, for fear of letting her get overtired (because we've been down that road and it's not pretty). So the timing doesn't work out the way I think it *should*.

It's interesting that it frequently happens at exactly 30 minutes, so I think it might be a sleep cycle thing...

I think an infant that young is quite unlikely to take a nap that long during the day even if you did everything right. Even if she doesn't want to nurse except every 4 hours, she isn't likely to nap that long several times a day. The thirty minute sleep cycle is common and hard to break until they grow some more.

MsPurple24 · June 2011

ladipale:
Ellie is also a short napper during the day unless we are in the car. All her epic naps happen in the car. Does she sleep in the stroller at all? Ellie will also nap longer in the stroller and i find I can get in a long walk at some point on the days I'm home with her. And if she's not napping, she is actually very happy staring at the trees and feeling the breeze. (we switched from no longer having her in the infant seat, just in the BOB about 6 weeks ago)
I've thought about CIO for naps, but it doesn't translate well to daycare where they really can't let babies CIO. I wish I could figure out longer daytime naps so I could work from home more consistently.

She will catnap in the car a bit now (a huge improvement from the blood-curdling screaming she used to do), but won't nap in the stroller at all... she's only just starting to tolerate her stroller. But she does quietly look around, like you mentioned. Maybe this would be a good way to stretch out our after-feeding play time, so she's ready for a good solid nap when we get home.

Daycare...ugh... our DCP told me not to worry about naps, that she would create her own routine at daycare when the time comes (mid August). But I will definitely be worried in those first few days! I can't exactly expect our DCP to wrap herself up in the Moby and bounce the afternoon away on the exercise ball!

MsPurple24 · June 2011

futrkingsley:
MsPurple24:
futrkingsley:

Some questions:

What is it that you think she SHOULD be doing instead? I guess I think she should be awake longer and then sleeping 1.5-2 hours until her feeding, since she seems to need that much sleep. The problem is that we put her down 90 minutes after feeding, for fear of letting her get overtired (because we've been down that road and it's not pretty). So the timing doesn't work out the way I think it *should*.

It's interesting that it frequently happens at exactly 30 minutes, so I think it might be a sleep cycle thing...

I think an infant that young is quite unlikely to take a nap that long during the day even if you did everything right. Even if she doesn't want to nurse except every 4 hours, she isn't likely to nap that long several times a day. The thirty minute sleep cycle is common and hard to break until they grow some more.

You're probably right. The thing is, she has been sleeping for 2+ hours in the Moby since she was 1 month old. So now that we're transitioning to the crib, she can't stay asleep for that long because she doesn't have us bouncing, shushing, and *keeping* her asleep for 2 hours. I think you're right in that expecting her to sleep for 2 hours in her crib is unreasonable. It's just hard to give that up when she's used to getting those long naps in the Moby and that's not going to be a possibility anymore since I'm going back to work.

Maybe the expectation needs to change... but then the issue of the overtired baby remains.

SweetieP · June 2011

To this day, I remember the first time that I had had absolutely enough of my son and his lack of sleeping/crying. I was exhausted....he wouldn't sleep in his crib, the bassinet or anywhere else but on me. I was so upset that I just put him in his swing in the front room and went into the office and closed the door and sobbed my eyes out....while posting on the nest. The resounding response from everyone at that time was that he was going through the 4 month wakeful period and that everything would be okay within a few days. And it wasn't going to hurt him to spend a few minutes in his swing as long as he was strapped in. So he cried for about 3-4 mintues and then slept for well over an hour. I couldn't believe it. I felt so foolish and embarrassed that I could get my kid to do something that should be oh-so-natural. From then on, he napped in his swing for the next few months....with a few crib naps here and there. He eventually worked it out...but it was so exhausting.

Hang in there.

SarahCee · June 2011

After I replied I was thinking back when we were having nap issues with DS, it sounds like he and H are a lot alike. He was the absolute king of the 30 minute sleep cycle, 29 minutes on the dot he'd wake up (but he STTN since 8 weeks). It was not until close to 6 months that he gradually started to nap longer. He was not into the swaddle though, I gave up on that somewhere in the first few weeks. He is still not a wonderful napper, and he sleeps best in his own space. I know it is so hard (trust me, I know), but try not to stress yourself out over it too much, she will sleep when she is tired enough. Looking back I wish I would have told myself that. Also, like SweetieP said, if you have to put her down for a few minutes and let her cry while you leave the room for a few deep breaths, she will be fine. Lots of luck and nap dust to you!

MsPurple24 · June 2011

SweetieP:
To this day, I remember the first time that I had had absolutely enough of my son and his lack of sleeping/crying. I was exhausted....he wouldn't sleep in his crib, the bassinet or anywhere else but on me. I was so upset that I just put him in his swing in the front room and went into the office and closed the door and sobbed my eyes out....while posting on the nest. The resounding response from everyone at that time was that he was going through the 4 month wakeful period and that everything would be okay within a few days. And it wasn't going to hurt him to spend a few minutes in his swing as long as he was strapped in. So he cried for about 3-4 mintues and then slept for well over an hour. I couldn't believe it. I felt so foolish and embarrassed that I could get my kid to do something that should be oh-so-natural. From then on, he napped in his swing for the next few months....with a few crib naps here and there. He eventually worked it out...but it was so exhausting.
Hang in there.

Thank you! Yeah... I've had many of those cries. It's so exhausting to work SO hard to get her to go to sleep, only to have her wake up the second I try to lay her down. I know I'm not the first mom to have to deal with this, but in the moment, it feels like I'm the only one, you know? I should try the swing again, you never know.

MsPurple24 · June 2011

SarahCee:
After I replied I was thinking back when we were having nap issues with DS, it sounds like he and H are a lot alike. He was the absolute king of the 30 minute sleep cycle, 29 minutes on the dot he'd wake up (but he STTN since 8 weeks). It was not until close to 6 months that he gradually started to nap longer. He was not into the swaddle though, I gave up on that somewhere in the first few weeks. He is still not a wonderful napper, and he sleeps best in his own space. I know it is so hard (trust me, I know), but try not to stress yourself out over it too much, she will sleep when she is tired enough. Looking back I wish I would have told myself that. Also, like SweetieP said, if you have to put her down for a few minutes and let her cry while you leave the room for a few deep breaths, she will be fine. Lots of luck and nap dust to you!

Thank you so much.

Lesley423 · June 2011

Lucas was never a good napper when he was younger. Unless we were in the car, he'd only take 30 *maybe* 45 minute naps until he was about 9-10 months old when we'd get an hour pretty consistently. I'm still shocked at the good napper he turned into now because for the longest time it didn't seem like it would ever happen!

Do you have a white noise machine? Do you follow the same routine with her when you put her down for naps? Also, have you tried maybe putting her down earlier? Maybe her wakeful period is too long? Sometimes even 10-15 minutes can throw them off.

Hugs to you. Sleep issues were always the hardest for us.

SweetieP · June 2011

MsPurple24:
SweetieP:
To this day, I remember the first time that I had had absolutely enough of my son and his lack of sleeping/crying. I was exhausted....he wouldn't sleep in his crib, the bassinet or anywhere else but on me. I was so upset that I just put him in his swing in the front room and went into the office and closed the door and sobbed my eyes out....while posting on the nest. The resounding response from everyone at that time was that he was going through the 4 month wakeful period and that everything would be okay within a few days. And it wasn't going to hurt him to spend a few minutes in his swing as long as he was strapped in. So he cried for about 3-4 mintues and then slept for well over an hour. I couldn't believe it. I felt so foolish and embarrassed that I could get my kid to do something that should be oh-so-natural. From then on, he napped in his swing for the next few months....with a few crib naps here and there. He eventually worked it out...but it was so exhausting.
Hang in there.
Thank you! Yeah... I've had many of those cries. It's so exhausting to work SO hard to get her to go to sleep, only to have her wake up the second I try to lay her down. I know I'm not the first mom to have to deal with this, but in the moment, it feels like I'm the only one, you know? I should try the swing again, you never know.

Oh for sure!!! It's totally isolating and it makes you feel like you've done something "wrong". (Which you haven't!!!) Hang in there - it will get easier. I also think that trying to get her to sleep on her own during this 4 month wakeful period might not be a good idea - more frustrating for everyone involved. Could you try the swing while she's swaddled?

MsPurple24 · June 2011

Lesley423:
Do you have a white noise machine? Do you follow the same routine with her when you put her down for naps? Also, have you tried maybe putting her down earlier? Maybe her wakeful period is too long? Sometimes even 10-15 minutes can throw them off.
Hugs to you. Sleep issues were always the hardest for us.

Thanks-

Yes, we use the Homedics white noise machine that many here use. We do follow the same routine (swaddle, bounce on the ball, shush) that we do at night, and she sleeps really well at night now. I struggle with putting her down earlier vs. later, because while she goes down easier at an earlier time (75 minutes after feeding), she then wakes up and has a huge gap until her next feeding. And during that huge gap, she gets overtired. See what I mean?

I agree with you that sometimes the wakeful period is too long, I've heard and read that and I try to be aware of it. For her age, I think 1.5-2 hours is the norm, which is about how long she can last. But since she only eats every 4 hours, that would leave 2 hours for sleeping! And therein lies my problem. She won't sleep for 2 hours straight, even though I'm pretty sure that's what she needs. *sigh*

Thank you for the support and advice! It is really helpful to hear from so many people.

MsPurple24 · June 2011

SweetieP:
MsPurple24:
SweetieP:
To this day, I remember the first time that I had had absolutely enough of my son and his lack of sleeping/crying. I was exhausted....he wouldn't sleep in his crib, the bassinet or anywhere else but on me. I was so upset that I just put him in his swing in the front room and went into the office and closed the door and sobbed my eyes out....while posting on the nest. The resounding response from everyone at that time was that he was going through the 4 month wakeful period and that everything would be okay within a few days. And it wasn't going to hurt him to spend a few minutes in his swing as long as he was strapped in. So he cried for about 3-4 mintues and then slept for well over an hour. I couldn't believe it. I felt so foolish and embarrassed that I could get my kid to do something that should be oh-so-natural. From then on, he napped in his swing for the next few months....with a few crib naps here and there. He eventually worked it out...but it was so exhausting.
Hang in there.
Thank you! Yeah... I've had many of those cries. It's so exhausting to work SO hard to get her to go to sleep, only to have her wake up the second I try to lay her down. I know I'm not the first mom to have to deal with this, but in the moment, it feels like I'm the only one, you know? I should try the swing again, you never know.
Oh for sure!!! It's totally isolating and it makes you feel like you've done something "wrong". (Which you haven't!!!) Hang in there - it will get easier. I also think that trying to get her to sleep on her own during this 4 month wakeful period might not be a good idea - more frustrating for everyone involved. Could you try the swing while she's swaddled?

I could try the swing, yes... but she has never, ever slept in there. Swings and mobiles and other moving things tend to stimulate her too much (even though in order to get her to sleep, we rock and bounce and walk and do a whole lot of movement!). She has never fallen asleep without being in our arms- aside from the occasional car nap recently. But it's worth a try, and I'm willing to try it!

m&m818 · June 2011

Ugh. Yuck. Yeah, not a fun stage. So I'll premise what I'm about to say with *I'm a big fan of CIO*.

My personal opinion is that you aren't getting two naps, that sounds like she's waking during one of the lighter sleep cycles, but really needs to keep sleeping.

We went through a lot of that at that stage. I wouldn't do the 15-30 min of play time in the middle, I would keep DD in her crib (or wherever she was... swing, moby etc) and do what I could do get her back to sleep. If it took 15 min, then great. If it took 30, fine. Picking up DD was never really an option, she'd fuss enough to wake up then want to play, then be cranky as hell, arching back, not taking paci and need to go back to sleep. Vicious cycle. Around 4 months we did CIO.

The naps stretched to 2-3 hour naps. Whether it was what I did or if she outgrew it, who knows. But it worked for us.

Other things we did during that time:

1) use a heating pad to warm the surface you are about to place DC on. (in case it needs to be said, remove before you put baby down)

2) White noise.

3) Fan

4) Double Swaddle. Any looseness in the swaddle meant wake ups. By 4 months she was rolling double swaddled, so we ditched the swaddle and headed towards a lovey.

Lesley423 · June 2011

I'd definitely try the swing again. One thing we learned is that what might not have worked last week worked the next week sometimes. Everything was constantly changing and it was really frustrating. We were constantly trying new things and old things that didn't work.

Another thing we did was sometimes going in after 25 minutes (Lucas usually woke up after 30 minutes) and gently shake him to slightly wake him and then pat him, shush him, or anything to help him transition into another cycle of sleep. It didn't always work but sometimes we'd get another 30 minutes out of him.

Good luck!

SFAug07 · June 2011

If the paci is the issue, try to get rid of it. We had an issue with Sarah's night time sleep with the paci at around 5 months and got rid of it - and she slept so much better. We used a strategy from the No Cry Sleep Solution. First day, give the paci only when she is going to sleep (no other time). Then, once she is asleep, go in and remove it from her mouth. Amazingly, she didn't wake up from that. Second day, only give the paci if she is really upset and pull it out as soon as she is asleep. Third day - toss the paci out. Worked so well.

Other things that negatively impacted Sarah's sleep: being too cold (she really likes to be warm, so we are always using double fleece - pjs and sleep sack), noise (using white noise machine), room too bright (closing the blinds for naps).

Good luck! Sleep issues are so tough.

MsPurple24 · June 2011

m&m818:
Ugh. Yuck. Yeah, not a fun stage. So I'll premise what I'm about to say with *I'm a big fan of CIO*.
My personal opinion is that you aren't getting two naps, that sounds like she's waking during one of the lighter sleep cycles, but really needs to keep sleeping.
We went through a lot of that at that stage. I wouldn't do the 15-30 min of play time in the middle, I would keep DD in her crib (or wherever she was... swing, moby etc) and do what I could do get her back to sleep. If it took 15 min, then great. If it took 30, fine. Picking up DD was never really an option, she'd fuss enough to wake up then want to play, then be cranky as hell, arching back, not taking paci and need to go back to sleep. Vicious cycle. Around 4 months we did CIO.
The naps stretched to 2-3 hour naps. Whether it was what I did or if she outgrew it, who knows. But it worked for us.
Other things we did during that time:
1) use a heating pad to warm the surface you are about to place DC on. (in case it needs to be said, remove before you put baby down)
2) White noise.
3) Fan
4) Double Swaddle. Any looseness in the swaddle meant wake ups. By 4 months she was rolling double swaddled, so we ditched the swaddle and headed towards a lovey.

This (bolded above) is what my instinct tells me, and I think that even if it's brutal, I'm going to have to get her to stretch that "first nap" into a full 2 hour nap. I need to stop picking her up after 30 minutes.

And the double swaddle is genius. Why am I not doing that? She's been trying to bust out lately, but I just thought that meant I wasn't doing it tightly enough. Looseness equals wakeups, you're totally right. But she's starting to roll, both front-back and back-front, so I do think it's time to transition to a lovey as well. She hasn't rolled in her swaddle yet, but I think it's just a matter of time.

Mrs.K&C · June 2011

I believe your daughter has been rather colicky, hasn't she? One thing I found very helpful with DS - who was super colicky - was when I read the colic section of Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. He says colicky babies develop their sleep patterns later than non-colicky ones. Where the average kiddo will find a pattern of some sort around 4 months, colic kids take longer. And this was very true for DS. I tried at 4 months to get him on a schedule. It was what worked for DD, what she absolutely needed and while it wasn't easy, it worked and she was a great napper after that. DS? Not even close. It was clear he just was not ready. Around 6 months he started finding his groove with naps and now he does pretty well. As well and consistent as his sister? No, not even close. But still getting two good naps a day, so I'll take it.

It's hard, but my advice would be to do what she needs now and work on the schedule and all that a little later. I would try now and then and just see how he was. It was pretty obvious that he wasn't ready so I'd stop and wait a little longer. And as far as daycare, yes...they will find their own pattern there. It's concerning, but it will be okay. DS started napping regularly at daycare long before he did at home.

MsPurple24 · June 2011

Mrs.K&C:
I believe your daughter has been rather colicky, hasn't she? One thing I found very helpful with DS - who was super colicky - was when I read the colic section of Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. He says colicky babies develop their sleep patterns later than non-colicky ones. Where the average kiddo will find a pattern of some sort around 4 months, colic kids take longer. And this was very true for DS. I tried at 4 months to get him on a schedule. It was what worked for DD, what she absolutely needed and while it wasn't easy, it worked and she was a great napper after that. DS? Not even close. It was clear he just was not ready. Around 6 months he started finding his groove with naps and now he does pretty well. As well and consistent as his sister? No, not even close. But still getting two good naps a day, so I'll take it.
It's hard, but my advice would be to do what she needs now and work on the schedule and all that a little later. I would try now and then and just see how he was. It was pretty obvious that he wasn't ready so I'd stop and wait a little longer. And as far as daycare, yes...they will find their own pattern there. It's concerning, but it will be okay. DS started napping regularly at daycare long before he did at home.

Yes, she has been colicky and I believe you that the sleep patterns develop later. I'm always shocked when other parents tell me that they have a "bedtime" or some kind of nap schedule already at 3-4 months (our bedtime is at 7pm or 10pm or anywhere in between, based on how she's napping that day). She's still on a newborn-like schedule... eating around the clock, very little awake time and napping between every feeding, not just morning/afternoon... I have that book and I'll re-read that chapter.

Thanks!

Mrs.K&C · June 2011

MsPurple24:
Mrs.K&C:
I believe your daughter has been rather colicky, hasn't she? One thing I found very helpful with DS - who was super colicky - was when I read the colic section of Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. He says colicky babies develop their sleep patterns later than non-colicky ones. Where the average kiddo will find a pattern of some sort around 4 months, colic kids take longer. And this was very true for DS. I tried at 4 months to get him on a schedule. It was what worked for DD, what she absolutely needed and while it wasn't easy, it worked and she was a great napper after that. DS? Not even close. It was clear he just was not ready. Around 6 months he started finding his groove with naps and now he does pretty well. As well and consistent as his sister? No, not even close. But still getting two good naps a day, so I'll take it.
It's hard, but my advice would be to do what she needs now and work on the schedule and all that a little later. I would try now and then and just see how he was. It was pretty obvious that he wasn't ready so I'd stop and wait a little longer. And as far as daycare, yes...they will find their own pattern there. It's concerning, but it will be okay. DS started napping regularly at daycare long before he did at home.
Yes, she has been colicky and I believe you that the sleep patterns develop later. I'm always shocked when other parents tell me that they have a "bedtime" or some kind of nap schedule already at 3-4 months (our bedtime is at 7pm or 10pm or anywhere in between, based on how she's napping that day). She's still on a newborn-like schedule... eating around the clock, very little awake time and napping between every feeding, not just morning/afternoon... I have that book and I'll re-read that chapter.
Thanks!

I've totally been there with DS - and it was especially hard because DD slept well early and adapted a schedule that worked for her by 4 months...so having this little guy all over the place and really like a newborn was tough. Once I let go and accepted they were very different, it was a little easier to swallow, but obviously not until he finally found his pattern did life get easier with him because he was now finally well rested. It took a lot longer than I would like, but it did eventually happen. And when he was 3-4 months, I wouldn't have believed it. But they do change, even the colicky ones.

maryh01 · June 2011

I feel you...big hugs. I know I'm late to the party, but J didn't really develop his "schedule" until about 5 months and he wasn't colicky. He was a short napper for a long time and I think you have to decide what's more important, her sleeping in the crib or her sleeping for 2 hours. One thing at a time...you know? If it's important that she sleep in her crib, then work on that and just know that she's going to nap for a short amount of time and you have to just keep working on it. I know...it's sooooo hard.

Things we tried: CIO, going in to give the paci again, going in and placing a hand on his back before he woke up, shushing and patting, sleeping on his tummy, white noise/no white noise, sleep sack/no sleep sack...seriously everything in the book and nothing helped him to sleep longer than 30-45 minutes. I really think he just needed to get a little older. And FWIW...he would sleep in the Moby when he was young for 2-3 hours as well. I think it's just a transition time all around.

Hang in there Mama...you're doing everything you can!

MsPurple24 · June 2011

maryh01:
I feel you...big hugs. I know I'm late to the party, but J didn't really develop his "schedule" until about 5 months and he wasn't colicky. He was a short napper for a long time and I think you have to decide what's more important, her sleeping in the crib or her sleeping for 2 hours. One thing at a time...you know? If it's important that she sleep in her crib, then work on that and just know that she's going to nap for a short amount of time and you have to just keep working on it. I know...it's sooooo hard.
Things we tried: CIO, going in to give the paci again, going in and placing a hand on his back before he woke up, shushing and patting, sleeping on his tummy, white noise/no white noise, sleep sack/no sleep sack...seriously everything in the book and nothing helped him to sleep longer than 30-45 minutes. I really think he just needed to get a little older. And FWIW...he would sleep in the Moby when he was young for 2-3 hours as well. I think it's just a transition time all around.
Hang in there Mama...you're doing everything you can!

Thank you! Yep, definitely a transitional time, for sure. Today was rough. Very rough. But this evening, Scott managed to get her to sleep on her tummy in the crib, which is a big goal for us. It only lasted 10 minutes, but she was asleep! On her tummy! So we've decided to make that our big effort. We think that sleeping unswaddled on her tummy will result in longer naps (she likes tummy pressure and sleeping on her back without a swaddle has already proven to be impossible- she flails and gets really upset).

As far as what is more important... honestly... it's more important to me that she's sleeping in her crib from now on, rather than the Moby. Otherwise I would still have her in the Moby every day, taking her glorious 2 hour naps. Thank you for bringing that up- it reminds me that I'm choosing to make this transition, and that even if the naps are short- very short- we're still working towards our goal and it will improve.

maryh01 · June 2011

MsPurple24:
maryh01:
I feel you...big hugs. I know I'm late to the party, but J didn't really develop his "schedule" until about 5 months and he wasn't colicky. He was a short napper for a long time and I think you have to decide what's more important, her sleeping in the crib or her sleeping for 2 hours. One thing at a time...you know? If it's important that she sleep in her crib, then work on that and just know that she's going to nap for a short amount of time and you have to just keep working on it. I know...it's sooooo hard.
Things we tried: CIO, going in to give the paci again, going in and placing a hand on his back before he woke up, shushing and patting, sleeping on his tummy, white noise/no white noise, sleep sack/no sleep sack...seriously everything in the book and nothing helped him to sleep longer than 30-45 minutes. I really think he just needed to get a little older. And FWIW...he would sleep in the Moby when he was young for 2-3 hours as well. I think it's just a transition time all around.
Hang in there Mama...you're doing everything you can!
Thank you! Yep, definitely a transitional time, for sure. Today was rough. Very rough. But this evening, Scott managed to get her to sleep on her tummy in the crib, which is a big goal for us. It only lasted 10 minutes, but she was asleep! On her tummy! So we've decided to make that our big effort. We think that sleeping unswaddled on her tummy will result in longer naps (she likes tummy pressure and sleeping on her back without a swaddle has already proven to be impossible- she flails and gets really upset).
As far as what is more important... honestly... it's more important to me that she's sleeping in her crib from now on, rather than the Moby. Otherwise I would still have her in the Moby every day, taking her glorious 2 hour naps. Thank you for bringing that up- it reminds me that I'm choosing to make this transition, and that even if the naps are short- very short- we're still working towards our goal and it will improve.

Yep...she's used to 2 hour naps and she needs to adjust. You might try putting her to bed for the night earlier so that she's getting more nighttime sleep now that she's not getting as much sleep during the day. That helped J tremendously.

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