Negativity towards BFing - Reassure me...

mellydawn84 · June 2011

So this past weekend we had a busy few days - party at my mom and dads for my neices, and a bday party for friends of ours mom(she's like a mother to my DH).

At both events, I had people tell me how I should probably supplement Elliott since he eats so often (every 2-3hrs during the day and 1-2 in the evening - our nights I get a good 4-5hr stretch). He's gaining weight Really well, the last 2 weeks he gained just short of 2lbs.

I don't appreciate the negativity towards me BFing. I was told that he probably isn't getting what he needs since he eats so often, and that both women who commented 'had' to supplement their kids because they were just 'so hungry'. Umm sorry but he's 7weeks old, I can't expect anymore of him, can I? I know deep down that what we're doing is Totally normal, but it just plants these little seeds of doubt in me when people say things like that.

tokenhoser · June 2011

You're doing so well - don't listen!

If you can, find some supportive moms to hang out with once in a while. I go to La Leche League meetings even though bf-ing is going fine for me because I like the conversation and the company. Read up on kellymom. Be knowledgeable and confident that you are doing the best thing for your baby, and he does NOT need formula.

Women used to get such terrible information, you can't blame them for being wrong. That doesn't mean you need to listen.

mellydawn84 · June 2011

tokenhoser:
You're doing so well - don't listen!
If you can, find some supportive moms to hang out with once in a while. I go to La Leche League meetings even though bf-ing is going fine for me because I like the conversation and the company. Read up on kellymom. Be knowledgeable and confident that you are doing the best thing for your baby, and he does NOT need formula.
Women used to get such terrible information, you can't blame them for being wrong. That doesn't mean you need to listen.

Thanks! I appreciate the positivity and support

I actually attend a breastfeeding support group every week, but it's not until Friday and I just need some reassurance until then. It's run by LCs/RPNs and I LOVE going and chatting with other moms.

I know in my heart that things are going well, and that what I'm doing is right, but it's just tough when people say these horrible things and, like I said, plant these little seeds of doubt.

Lisa102304 · June 2011

Newborns are SUPPOSED to eat often. They are growing SO much their metabolisms are super fast. They need constant nutrition to help them grow as they should. Especially EBF babies since BM is used faster. You are doing nothing wrong!

nycteach · June 2011

Lisa102304:
Newborns are SUPPOSED to eat often. They are growing SO much their metabolisms are super fast. They need constant nutrition to help them grow as they should. Especially EBF babies since BM is used faster. You are doing nothing wrong!

This!

morganaday · June 2011

mellydawn84:
tokenhoser:
You're doing so well - don't listen!
If you can, find some supportive moms to hang out with once in a while. I go to La Leche League meetings even though bf-ing is going fine for me because I like the conversation and the company. Read up on kellymom. Be knowledgeable and confident that you are doing the best thing for your baby, and he does NOT need formula.
Women used to get such terrible information, you can't blame them for being wrong. That doesn't mean you need to listen.
Thanks! I appreciate the positivity and support
I actually attend a breastfeeding support group every week, but it's not until Friday and I just need some reassurance until then. It's run by LCs/RPNs and I LOVE going and chatting with other moms.
I know in my heart that things are going well, and that what I'm doing is right, but it's just tough when people say these horrible things and, like I said, plant these little seeds of doubt.

I cannot believe someone told you that...eek. I love going to our breastfeeding support group too! You know that you are doing the best thing for him by breastfeeding!

amatistajoy · June 2011

I would just giggle to myself - really! You are doing awesome!! You're doing the best for your baby

Cassondra09 · June 2011

You are doing great Melly! And like you said he is completely normal. We were at our family reunion this past weekend and Si ate a lot more than usual. I honestly think that part of it was just an excuse to come back to me, he was overwhelmed with all the people. Nursing is not always for food, sometimes they just want to reconnect with you.

jg_girl1 · June 2011

Audrey is 7 weeks old and has the exact same eating schedule. To help with the 1-2 hr feedings in the evening DH give her a bottle of BM. Basically she will sleep 4-5 hrs at night so in the morning both breast are engorged. I feed her one breast and pump the other. Then when she wants to eat frequently at night DH gives her the bottle so that my breast can fill up for the final feeding before bed. As long as your are making enough milk to feed your baby I would not supplement. Stay strong!

Angel0423 · June 2011

"every 2-3hrs during the day and 1-2 in the evening - our nights I get a good 4-5hr stretch"

sounds just like us! I don't see it to be a problem! I think you're going well!

mellydawn84 · June 2011

Thanks everyone! It helps to hear from other moms that they are in the same boat.

jg - I do the same thing, but just freeze the bottle that I pump to get some stored up for later (mixing with cereal when we start solids, if I get sick and need meds, etc). I used to give him some of it in the evenings, when he's Extra fussy I will again.

Cass - I didn't even think that E would have just wanted to be back with me but that makes so much sense - too many non-mommy and daddy holds.

andigurl · June 2011

It sounds like you are doing a great job, and as long as your baby is thriving, just nod and smile when people say such things and go about your business the way you want to. Yes It sounds like your LO is doing great.

That being said, if you did need to supplement, it isn't the end of the world and I don't think it should be looked upon as a failure.

fluffybuns · June 2011

You are doing exactly what you should be doing! They will get over it and hopefully get used to it.

My mom was the same way with my first, always judging me for how often I fed her telling me it was too much too often and she would sleep better if I introduced formula. Needless to say, I just ignored her and carried on with my ways!

Probably your baby is nursing so often because he is growing, there is a big growth spurt around 6 weeks.

Negativity is just ignorance and I'm sorry that you have to listen to it!

Hang in there! It gets easier before you know it.

Hels · June 2011

That's just shinanigans. Just nod and smile and know that these people are idiots. You are doing exactly what you should be.

dahansen85 · June 2011

You're doing great Melly - and wowee good job on his weight gain!! I don't see any reason at all that you should have to supplement with great results like that. Keep up the good work mama!

flutepharm87 · June 2011

Formula takes longer for baby to break down, so he won't feed as often. That's why you're BFing him so often. It's not because he isn't getting enough. I completely applaud you for doing so well, I'm totally jealous! Keep up the good work and don't listen to those haters!

toadstool · June 2011

flutepharm87:
Formula takes longer for baby to break down, so he won't feed as often. That's why you're BFing him so often. It's not because he isn't getting enough. I completely applaud you for doing so well, I'm totally jealous! Keep up the good work and don't listen to those haters!

I'm jealous too! But people are weird with the formula vs bf thing. I won't bore you with the long story, but my LO bottle feeds. It makes me sad because I so wanted that connection and closeness you get from bfing. Now instead, I pump every day and bottle feed her my milk. It does take up a lot of time(about 3hrs of the day just pumping) but I know it is the best for LO. People criticize me all the time about pumping. They tell me I should just give myself a break and give her formula and that she will be just fine. I really wish that they would mind their own business, but everyone is an expert.

Keep it up, I think it's awesome that you are bfing!

iris427 · June 2011

Breastfed babies eat a lot. The reason is because breast milk is such a perfect food and so easy to digest that they digest it very quickly. Formula is harder on their tummies so it takes longer to digest. Once your baby is a little older, they don't nurse as often and you'll get more time in between nursing sessions. They also get more efficient at getting milk, so each session will be shorter. A breastfed baby has to work harder to get their milk out, which can seem "bad," but it's actually promoting healthy development of the jaw and face.

If your baby is gaining weight, keep on doing exactly what you're doing--no need for formula.

krispy127 · June 2011

your doing awesome keep it up, I stopped BFing after two months just for a bunch of personal reasons but am so proud of people that can keep it up cause it is a lot of work. Sometimes people are just dumb and don't understand. lol they had to stop cause there baby's where soo hungry. Your baby's schedule sounds way normal for a BFing baby and he's gaining weight so your doing AWESOME you should be really proud of what your doing for your baby. GO BFing mommy's!!!!!!!

tokenhoser · June 2011

A great blog on the subject:

https://www.bestforbabes.org/dr-wendy-walsh-on-breastfeeding-critics

My favorite part that I think I see a lot on these boards:

INSECURITY: The biggest negative feedback you may get is from women who are not convinced that breast is best. They may have bought into the misleading ad campaigns of formula manufacturers or have so little support from family and at work, that they are forced to fall on the side of ?formula is fine.? But they are still a bit insecure about their decision. So they cement their belief by attempting to get everyone to sign up for their policies. It confirms their choice. These mothers aren?t looking out for you, they are just looking to get someone else to support their decision because they are insecure about it.

dragon8302 · June 2011

Hang in there! You know you are foing what you feel is right. I gave in to FF and to be honest i regret it every day. You seem to be a stong woman and keep the strength you have to not listen to others telling you how to raise YOUR child. Please dont give in like me. Im so proud of you...

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