new here! - keeping TTC a secret?

ReneeNU · June 2011

Hey everyone,

Coming out of lurker mode to introduce myself! Husband and I have been talking about kids for over a year, but this is our first cycle really TTC. Exciting, awesome, and slightly overwhelming!

Thanks for all of the advice I've gleaned so far from these boards! I look forward to reading more!

How many of you are keeping TTC a secret from friends and family? We were planning on it, but I'm afraid that with 4th of July bbq's and me turning down beer, people will pretty much guess that somethings up.

Michelle_G · June 2011

My best friend (who is married to DH's best friend) knows. That's it! Our families don't even know yet. However, this 4th of July will be tricky to keep it a secret. A friend has a huge bash every year, and they are all going to know something is up. I'll be in my 2ww, so I'm just going to tell people "there's a chance".

candr09 · June 2011

Welcome and GL. I've told a few of my closest friends that we'll *probably* be trying again in august. IDK that I'll talk about it much with them though when it actually comes.

But I do want to keep it a secret a little bit when I actually DO get KU again. With DD I kept it a secret for about an hour from my twin, a few days from my parents and grandparents, and only a few days after that from all other friends coworkers and facebook. haha. This time I wanna keep it between DH and I for a while.

MidaComida · June 2011

We wanted to keep it a secret but I think i'm so excited that my mom is onto me. Plus I told my cousin (who just had a baby) primarily because I wanted to know what they did on the cycle of their BFP.

Oh- and I'm drinking till pink Beer

sheilatakesabow · June 2011

If you're not drinking while TTC, say yes to the beer, take a few sips, then forget it on a picnic bench. For most people, its the saying no that they key into, they don't come back to check to make sure you're putting it all away.

IdahoLakeLady · June 2011

We'll "pull the goalie" after we get back from Europe in September. I've mentioned it to a few people, but mostly friends whom I tell everything anyway.

That said, the saying around her goes "drink till it's pink." A friend of mine was actually 4 weeks pregnant at my bachelorette party last summer. After taking 4 negative pregnancy tests she drank, heavily. Two weeks later she found out she was pregnant. Her doctor and midwife both assured her it was fine, because fetus doesn't actually start feeding off your bloodstream until 6 weeks.

So, bottoms up!

Oem617 · June 2011

MidaComida:

We wanted to keep it a secret but I think i'm so excited that my mom is onto me. Plus I told my cousin (who just had a baby) primarily because I wanted to know what they did on the cycle of their BFP.

Oh- and I'm drinking till pink

Me too. I do not drink that often anyways, but it is a holiday so I might have a couple.

Penguin1318 · June 2011

I agree with PP, you can still have a beer if you are TTC. If you are near the end of your 2WW I suggest taking a HPT just to make sure. That's what I did this past weekend for my concert. Took one and OF COURSE it was a BFN so I felt better about having a couple of beers.

I for one have only told my BFF... I don't want the added pressure from anyone else or the "Are you pregnant yet" questions. GL to you! Hopefully your stay here is short!

sunflowers4AC · June 2011

Welcome and Good Luck!!!! There are a two friends that know we are TTC but they are both very close and they are TTC too so we share stories. As for family I think they have an idea we are trying but we never talk about it. As for the beer I say go ahead and have one. Beer

Lexilynn345 · June 2011

Only my best friend and parents know. I plan to drink til it's pink, partially because it's fun and I enjoy it, partially to keep the questions at bay. GL!

LilyPotter218 · June 2011

I hint about it when I am with my family and the in-laws, but everyone thinks we are waiting at least until Fall.

I have been taking my PNV and have been trying to be healthier in general, but do plan to drink. We don't go out drinking very often, but if something comes up I plan to enjoy myself while I still can.

Jellybean707 · June 2011

Hi!

We're keeping TTC a sercret from everyone.

I agree with PP that you can say yes to the beer and take a few sips. No one seems to have noticed that I nurse one drink all night long. If I go out I get soda water with a lime. I normally drink vodka soda so no one can tell.

I've been able to cut out alcohol without anyone really noticing.

Good Luck!

hs10 · June 2011

I have told a few close friends and my mother. We haven't told MIL because she can't keep a secret. We will probably for a while before we tell anyone when I actually get KU (at least that's the plan).

I subscribe to the "drink until it's pink" theory, so there are no dead giveaways. Most people don't think too much of me saying no to a drink anyways because I will often DD when DH and I go out because taxis are few and far between where we live.

ReneeNU · June 2011

Thanks everyone!!!

Drink til it's pink. I like that. Great ideas. I think I will have a beer, or at least some of one and just forget it.

I've told a few friends too. I'm mostly keeping it from my mom, who is a very high-stress, high-strung person who is a little bit of a control freak. She may have passed some of those traits to me as well, but honestly? I don't need that right now you know?

Thanks for all the well wishes! GL to all you ladies as well!

-Renee

lycih · June 2011

Welcome and good luck to you!

One of my sisters and MH's sister know. And we've told a handful of friends, but mostly ones we only see once in awhile because they live further away. It seemed to us we'd be dealing with a lot less "are you pregnant? how about now? now?" if we told our close friends who aren't actually geographically close.

FWIW, I still drink while TTC, though I won't get plastered during the 2WW or anything...

jll1881 · June 2011

A couple of our very close friends know that I went off of the pill. My sisters know that we are TTC, as does our daycare provider. We want her to hold a spot for the next baby, and there are several others who want the spot as well. We told her we were TTC so she would hold the spot for us.

jsiira · June 2011

Welcome! I'm new here too. My DH and I are keeping it a secret from everyone. I worry that if it doesn't happen right away there will be the added pressure from everyone asking.

Mrs.Slick · June 2011

Many here go by the rule drink til it's pink. If you don't want to, then have a beer in your hand and sip it, then hand it off to your DH to finish when other's aren't around.

fncycwgrl · June 2011

I am not of the school of drink til it's pink but I am a fan of having a "personalized" beverage container and fibbing!

I know I am new and would hate to be "off" on my dates and chance anything, sure a drink won't mess things up but I would rather take it out of the equation. Heck flat out lie and say you took some meds for a headache and you don't want to mix.

My Uncle and my Brother know we are starting to try but but that is it for family, my BFF knows and she and I chat compare all the time!

We are hosting a huge 4th celebration and I have my personalized beverages ready to go!

bulldogmom4 · June 2011

Welcome! We havn't told anyone in our family that we are TTC.

ConnieRob · June 2011

We've told EVERYONE that we are starting TTC this month! I'm really bad at keeping secrets though :-) Plus it's just so exciting! Our son is 3 1/2 so we have been getting the "when are you getting preggo again" questions for a while now. I had my Mirena IUD removed 2 months ago (everyone knew that too) but I wanted to have at least 1 cycle before conceiving because I never did with the IUD. I have a lot of friends who never said a word about TTC but you always knew when they didn't drink. I'd either take a few sips and abandon the beer or say you have a headache and just want water. Best of luck!!!

mochasb · June 2011

I haven't really admitted to anyone that we are TTC. I also keep telling DH that we are just not preventing so that neither of us gets too stressed if it doesn't happen right away.

I like the "drink until it's pink" saying. I was a little worried with the upcoming holiday, but I've already started telling people that I'm cutting back on alcohol because I don't enjoy it anymore. There's also been occasions when I drink a lot (before 2WW) and tell DH that soon I won't be able to drink at all.

cldixon · June 2011

IdahoLakeLady:
We'll "pull the goalie" after we get back from Europe in September. I've mentioned it to a few people, but mostly friends whom I tell everything anyway.
That said, the saying around her goes "drink till it's pink." A friend of mine was actually 4 weeks pregnant at my bachelorette party last summer. After taking 4 negative pregnancy tests she drank, heavily. Two weeks later she found out she was pregnant. Her doctor and midwife both assured her it was fine, because fetus doesn't actually start feeding off your bloodstream until 6 weeks.
So, bottoms up!

that's exactly what my dr said too! And I second that "bottoms up!"

michaela080 · June 2011

I told a bunch of people. I can't keep my mouth shut. Welcome and good luck!

staccydev · June 2011

We told a few people we were TTC and I really wish that I hadn't. Now every time I see one of them, they ask how it is going. As for drinking, I gave it up in the beginning, but now that it is almost 11 months later, I follow the motto drink til it's pink.

the struggle and hustle · June 2011

Welcome! I think everyone knows we are trying (again). After 3 losses, I like the support. My ute is everyones business.

app1e3 · June 2011

Welcome and good luck! When TTC #1 I only told my mom, my SIL and two close friends. This time around we haven't mentioned anything official yet but it's no secret we want another baby.

ETA: As the PPs have said, it's perfectly fine to enjoy a drink or two over the weekend, have fun!

LovestruckAJ · June 2011

candr09:

But I do want to keep it a secret a little bit when I actually DO get KU again. With DD I kept it a secret for about an hour from my twin, a few days from my parents and grandparents, and only a few days after that from all other friends coworkers and facebook. haha. This time I wanna keep it between DH and I for a while.

Haha, probably this when I get KU.

Welcome & GL to you OP!

MKeene25 · June 2011

Everyone and their mammas know we are trying. But, they don't know to what extent we are trying. They do not know that I will be starting my first round of clomid this next cycle. It is definitely difficult to keep it a secret...but GL!

bellablue2 · June 2011

We are keeping it a secret. I did tell my mom and sisters after my m/c, but thats it. They are sworn to keep it a secret. I am not much of a drinker, so when I dont really drink at parties people dont notice a difference.

ReneeNU · June 2011

Thanks again everyone! I love all your stories. I have actually told one person. This person is a friend, but not in my normal circle of friends, so no risk of rumors spreading and people asking me about it constantly - which i totally don't want. I need to talk about it! And husband is excellent at this, but I need someone else as well, you know? Someone who knows about the girly stuff without me having to explain in detail. Also I need an outlet. Also I'm terrible at secrets.

My master plan for the weekend (I will drink, but I don't want to get plastered, obv.), is to drink a little REALLY slowly and then switch beers with my husband when no one's looking. I will be the beer ninja.

Renee

happilyever888 · June 2011

We're going to TTC in late August, and I kind of wish I would have kept my mouth shut about it but it was too hard with my close group of girlfriends and my mom. I'm definitely drinking til it's pink, as we're going to Cabo for our one year in Aug and that's when we'll start trying. I've thought of the drinking thing, though, because our friends like to party, and during football tailgaiting season and my bday this fall it will be hard to hide if I'm pregnant. I'm planning on always asking the bartender to make me a fake alcohol-looking drink so no one asks questions. At tailgates (or 4th of July bbqs) it should be pretty easy to put something else in a keg cup and no one will notice.

Zaphina · June 2011

i've mentioned in passing to some friends that i'd like kids sometime soon, but i have only told 1 close friend that my husband and i actually started trying. we'll see what happens!

and i also think 'drink until it's pink', or whatever that cute saying, was is great! i rarely drink anyways, so no one's going to notice either way!

good luck, all

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