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Babies: 3 - 6 Months
Long vent. DH related.
I took DS to my parents for the weekend starting Friday night. We went to a family reunion and several friend's homes over the weekend. It was a 2.5 hr drive there/back and Dh stayed home with the dogs. My parents held DS a handful of short times, but are unable to do more because they both have bad backs. My adult sister who lives with my parents also does not hold him very much/very long because she smokes and knows I don't like her smoking and then picking him up. So the whole weekend was almost 100% me.
On Monday night (I was supposed to leave to go home today, this afternoon), DS was really starting to get cranky. After a few bad nights (my old bedroom has so much stuff shoved in it, there is almost no room for me to rock DS to sleep, which I'm still doing, as well as lots of loud noises waking him as my sister goes out at all hours of the night, and him waking up even earlier than usual as my old bedroom has sheer shades and the light woke him up by 4:30-5:30 my time every morning), I made the executive decision to just pack up and go home Monday night so DS could be in his own space and I didn't have to constantly worry if he cried he was waking someone as they work and I didn't want them to be up all night listening to us.
On the way home, I called DH and told him that it was a good weekend where I got to see a lot of people I miss frequently, but that I was really tired from it being 100% only me for three days and needed help. I got off the phone with him and he went to bed for a few hours so he could 'help me out' when we got home, at 11:00p our time.
I get home at 11:00, exhausted from the weekend and driving, call H as I'm pulling in and he wakes up, comes out, and helps me unload, after asking what needed to come in last night, to which I said everything because I had packed in such a hurry I didn't remember where anything was. I start putting DS back down to sleep as he was cranky he got to sleep 2+ hours in the car and then was woken up and DH goes back to bed. I had to wake him again because I forgot to give DS his reflux meds so H had to go downstairs for that. H got pissy with me when he gave the meds to me and I asked him for some help as he wanted to go straight back to bed. He said that he had to get up at 4a for work the next day and that he accidentally may just crash his car he is so tired because it is now midnight. Then he goes on to say, 'what do you want me to do anyway?' because he can't ever get DS to sleep so ALL nighttime duties fall on me. I wanted to tell him I want him to try to put DS to sleep, and that every night I go to work I get up at 4:30a after sometimes NO sleep with DS, and I don't say a word of complaint. I held my tongue however and told DH that he could have brought my pump stuff upstairs, found my glasses and contact case so I don't have to rifle through all the bags once I'm finally done getting DS down, you know little things I do every night before I go to bed that he knows how to help me with. Well he got even more pissed talking about how tired he was. I wanted to blow up because he had the ENTIRE weekend to himself, in which he did pull up two bushes and put three pieces of tile in, but other than that he went hunting and out to dinner with a friend, and could have slept as much as he wanted.
He went back to bed and DS finally went to sleep so I got back in bed about 30-45 mins later. Well, DH was still awake and I told him how I felt alone and needed more help. He somewhat acknowledged it and then went on and started talking about something wrong with our shower. We went to bed and he has texted me several times today asking how it is going and saying he wants to come home and see DS since he barely got to see him last night, but I can't help still being frustrated, especially as I do the laundry, dishes, and clean the messy house that I didn't dirty the whole weekend. I am trying to have a better attitude, but DH really wants me to sleep train because I spend so much time at night with DS with DH being unable/unwilling at times to help out. That seems to be his only answer, that it is DS that needs to sleep train instead of him help me more. I get that DS only wants us and not to be nursed or changed at night, he does just want to be held, but IMO it would be nice if I wasn't the only one who could meet his needs...
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Re: Long vent. DH related.
I understand your frustration. It was a long weekend for you, he was worried about getting up in the morning, it was a bad mix.
Sometimes I have to deal H I need more help. He's good about doing what I ask but sometimes I wish I didn't have too. He sees what needs to be done too but relies on me to do it.
PG#1 - 3rd cycle BFP. Team Green. HELLP syndrome @ 34 weeks.
Later diagnosed with Hashimoto's Thyroiditis, possible link to HELLP.
PG#2 M/C 3/14 - Surprise BFP 2/13. Beta's doubled every 52 hours from 3w5d-5w5d
Viable pregnancy scan at 5w5d; 2nd u/s showed 2 days of growth in 7 but a HB of 120
3rd u/s on 3/10/14 had no HB and baby had only grown 7 days over 14
D&C 3/17/14 - complications - DX Retroflexed uterus, multiple tears to cervix
All Welcome
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Two things:
1) I think almost all new moms canrelate to this at some point and I sympathize with you. Sometimes I wonder if DH will ever just start doing things on his own without me having to throw a fit first.
2) The above made me LOL, sorry.
This.