What did you do? (finding out sex of baby)

KYmama9286 · June 2011

In light of a FB convo Jenrose and I had I am wondering what everyone did and what your rationale was (if you don't mind sharing). Before getting pg we both always said we wanted to be surprised at the delivery but when things got rough with Nicholas we decided finding out was a better option for us (in light of the biweekly ultrasounds and I mentally needed some "happy news" to keep me going). We always said that we would be surprised the next time so we could see which we liked more for future kids...well now that its getting close to that time I am really wanting to find out while DH is really wanting to be surprised. So...
[Poll]

stillwaiting12 · June 2011

There is no way I would be able to wait! I found out as early as possible both times and woul do the same in the future if we are so lucky. I am extreme type A and I just have to be able to plan and register etc... I know you can do gender neutral, but I don't wanna! I get wanting to be surprised but my rationalle is that I can be just as surprised in the ultrasound room. I think it's a personal choice and neither is right or wrong.

Emily2me · June 2011

We found out at an early ultrasound at becoming mom! I probably wouldn't have gone to that extreme but my MIL gave me a gift certificate and my mom was in town when I was 17 weeks, so it just worked out for us to find out at that time.

From the time that I found out I was pregnant until the time that I found out we were having a boy, my mind was going crazy! It was just difficult for me to picture my baby without knowing the sex. I know everyone is different and has their reasons for finding out/not finding out, but for us, I just had to know. I loved knowing that I was having a boy, being able to bond with him and calling him by his name while I was pregnant. Referring to "him" instead of "it/he/she". It just felt more personal and more real. Again, I know that it's still "real" whether or not you know the sex.

We never could have waited, we both knew that we wanted to know the sex before the baby was born. I will definitely find out for all of our future children.

ryry1977 · June 2011

We found out with DS and will with this one too. Just wanted to say that we kept the name a secret from everyone so that they had a surprise once he was born. We will be doing that again too!

identicaltwins2be · June 2011

I voted yes but I should have voted special snowflake. I tried to find out with Madison but her legs were crossed and her umbillical cord was in the way. They thought she was a girl but couldn't tell me for sure so I didn't find out until she was born. It wasn't horrible not knowing until she was born but I wouldn't choose to do it that way. We had a lot of green and yellow clothes for her in the beginning. We found out with the boys no problem. "Twigs and berries" is what our doctor said Stick out tongue

Moesten · June 2011

We've done both.

I am a terrible control freak. Not finding out with K was great because it was my first lesson in not trying to control everything and as a parent that is something I needed (and still need) to learn. The anticipation of not knowing was just incredible. It really was an extraordinary experience. I would recommend each person go without finding out at least once.

Finding out with #2 was nice because there was just a sense of peace and acceptance going forward in the pregnancy but it wasn't nearly as exciting.

And let me just say that in our experience, finding out at the U/S didn't even begin to compare with finding out in the delivery room.

kel716 · June 2011

We found out. I'm a planner and wanted to know. That, coupled with the fact that DH's family was insistent my baby was a girl, I needed to know for sure. I'm really glad I found out because if I had gone in to delivery thinking girl and finding out it was a boy, I would have been shocked.

I'm not sure what I'll do next time if we're blessed to become pregnant again.

On a side note, a friend of mine found out with baby #2. U/S tech said girl on 2 separate occasions. At 38 weeks his wife went in for a growth scan and the tech said "your son..." and at that point they all looked at the tech like she had 5 heads. In the end, all turned out fine, but now that they're pregnant with #2, they aren't finding out. Honestly, I don't blame them. At all.

megan1019 · June 2011

I found out early at becoming mom. Getting pregnant was surprise enough - I didn't want any other ones

KristenBtobe · June 2011

We found out both times. Initially we thought we'd hold out with #2 for that big wow in the delivery room, but I was SO sure we were having another girl I'm glad we found out. Otherwise poor Owen would be dressed in his sister's clothes for the first few months. ;-)
I think if you can hold out, I would. I wish I could! If we ever have another (which isn't likely) maybe we could wait.

Traycee1242 · June 2011

Moesten:
We've done both.
I am a terrible control freak. Not finding out with K was great because it was my first lesson in not trying to control everything and as a parent that is something I needed (and still need) to learn. The anticipation of not knowing was just incredible. It really was an extraordinary experience. I would recommend each person go without finding out at least once.
Finding out with #2 was nice because there was just a sense of peace and acceptance going forward in the pregnancy but it wasn't nearly as exciting.
And let me just say that in our experience, finding out at the U/S didn't even begin to compare with finding out in the delivery room.

This completely!!! I chimed in on FB too...

I have to also say that I really thought because we were finding out this time (DH's decision) I would feel more bonded knowing if baby was a girl or boy. To be totally honest I don't feel any more bonded knowing it's a girl than I did NOT knowing last time....

I am glad we tried it both ways... but if there are any more babies (not sure if we will go for #3 or not) we will be Team Green all the way!

I totally admit I'm really jealous of people who haven't found out yet... (on TB and IRL) I really have to get over this, lol.

gandcnky · June 2011

I didn't have a strong opinion one way or the other with #1, but my husband wanted to find out, so I went with it, and I was glad we did. I'm also a huge control freak, so knowing and envisioning my baby as a boy ahead of time worked for me. We both wanted to find out with #2, but we agreed that if we ended up with one of each, we'd wait to find out with our eventual #3. I don't know if I can actually wait when that time comes, but I think it would be so exciting to find out in the delivery room. I think it's awesome when someone is able to be patient, but I haven't been that patient yet.

Missbollinger · June 2011

DS1 - Team Green, was actually fun especially for the first one.

DS2 - We found out at the anatomy scan and DH was quite 'proud' of himself *eyeroll*

DD - We were actually told at the NT scan but waited for confirmation at the Anatomy scan which confirmed what we were told at the NT scan. Even then I was still in disbelief.

Despite being told what we were having I always packed a neutral outfit and a gender specific outfit. I do prefer to know though

Dani3679 · June 2011

I found out with Ryleigh and I liked knowing and planning. We decided to be team green with this one. I knew going in I would most likely be having a RCS and I didn't want to go into it knowing the birth date and the gender and most likely the name and have no element of surprise. I honestly think being on the bump helped me to decide to be team green, I see so many people who know everything (gender and name) and it just seems like there is no surprise left. I like the anticipation that I have right now not knowing. I think if I were to ever have more, I would probably go team green again. I'll let you know if that changes once the baby comes and the surprise is revealed!

JenRose05 · June 2011

I found out both times and don't regret it a bit. It's just best for me to know, no other reason lol

Lucky_N_Love · June 2011

I was on the fence so I left it to DH and he wanted to find out. I did feel "closer" to the baby knowing it was a girl. It did solve the issue of having to think of boy names too ha ha. Sometimes I wish we would have waited because I always think of Curlypie's story of the doctor announcing "It's a Nora!" However since I had an emergency c-section and didn't see the baby until later that night I am glad I knew. That would have kind of ruined the wow factor. I'm glad you posted this because it does make me wonder if I could go Team Green for #2

allobosc · June 2011

We've done both. I didn't want to find out with either, but DH did and I caved for DS1.

For Cameron, I stuck to my guns and said NO, however, DH did find out. I just turned my head. We had discussed it beforehand and he agreed not to tell me at all. I had my big u/s in Sept. and I told him to wait until my bday to tell me (early Nov.) but then my bday was here and I still wanted to keep it a secret, so then I said tell me Christmas morning, but then Christmas got here and I knew I could stick it out another month. DH was amazing at keeping it a secret! He was like Fort Knox and he didn't tell ANYONE. I can't believe he kept it so good.

I was 110% surprised during my delivery. The neat part was that DH got to choose the coming home outfit which was neat for him to do something special. I opened that outfit at the hospital and he also got me something a little sparkly for me too in the box I'm not sure what I'll do next time. Probably Team Green again. I really enjoyed it, even though it drove my family bonkers.

AllieSchmallie · June 2011

We didn't find out with Jonah, and if we have another one, we won't find out with that one, either. I loved being surprised in the delivery room, and it was an excellent way to drive my in-laws crazy, as well.

KYmama9286 · June 2011

allobosc:
We've done both. I didn't want to find out with either, but DH did and I caved for DS1.
For Cameron, I stuck to my guns and said NO, however, DH did find out. I just turned my head. We had discussed it beforehand and he agreed not to tell me at all. I had my big u/s in Sept. and I told him to wait until my bday to tell me (early Nov.) but then my bday was here and I still wanted to keep it a secret, so then I said tell me Christmas morning, but then Christmas got here and I knew I could stick it out another month. DH was amazing at keeping it a secret! He was like Fort Knox and he didn't tell ANYONE. I can't believe he kept it so good.

It's funny you should say that-- when DH and I have discussed it we have tried to come up with fun compromises and one of his ideas was that he could find out at the u/s but not tell me and plan a fun reveal for my 25th birthday in Sept. The only issue I had with that was that my main reason for wanting to find out is I am having a really hard time feeling connected to this baby, or really feeling anything at all towards this baby. I know that some of that is normal with 2nd time moms because you are busy with other kids, its not all brand new, etc. but I am really really worried that since things with Nicholas were so unusual and have been so unusual --we just have this really really special bond and I am scared that I won't be able to feel even close to that way about this baby. I was hoping that finding out would help me be able to picture in my head that I am actually having another child and help me feel more bonded. If DH finds out and I still have to wait 2 months to find out it kind of defeats the purpose IMO.

I am really stuck on what to do-- in the end I am sure I am going to leave the final decision up to DH. If he decides to be team green I am sure that some of the anticipation will go away after I have my u/s and I know that finding out isnt an option anymore-- right now its still an option and its KILLING me not knowing :-)

linzpinz14 · June 2011

I found out both times and I am glad I did! I am a planner!

I definitely did not feel as connected to this baby at the beginning of the pregnancy. And I still don't feel like I am as connected to her as I was to C. That sounds horrible.

With C, I just worked and then came home and laid on the couch and was able to enjoy every kick and movement. I ate whatever, whenever. I spent my summer laying by the pool and dreaming about her. I went on long shopping trips picking out her clothes and decorating her nursery.

This time, not so much. I am chasing her around (plus my childcare kids on days I have them) so I am exhausted every night! I spend all of my free time with C and when I am not with her, I am trying to get other stuff done that I wouldn't be able to if I was with her. I am also obsessed with trying to make sure she gets to do fun summer stuff before her sister is here and it is wearing me out!

I think it definitely helps knowing number 2 is a girl! I can call her by her name and just think about her... I feel like it's HER rather then just a baby in my belly that I am going to meet in a month. I feel like I already know her in some ways.

That is just me though. I know that there are lots of other ways to feel connected to your inside baby! I just could never stand the anticipation!

Brougham7-15-06 · June 2011

We found out with Jacob, but did not with Audrey. It was tough not finding out because I am such a planner, but I will say that it was really exciting to hear in the delivery room "its a girl" For me, I was 110% sure that Audrey was going to be a boy...I truely believed it with all my heart. And of course I would have loved to have a girl, and my mom has 5 grandsons and no girls...so she REALLY wanted a girl...so to be in suspense the whole time and at the end realize you finally have a baby girl was just so amazing. It was a great experience both ways, but when we have future children we will be team green!

Brougham7-15-06 · June 2011

Moesten:

We've done both.

I am a terrible control freak. Not finding out with K was great because it was my first lesson in not trying to control everything and as a parent that is something I needed (and still need) to learn. The anticipation of not knowing was just incredible. It really was an extraordinary experience. I would recommend each person go without finding out at least once.

Finding out with #2 was nice because there was just a sense of peace and acceptance going forward in the pregnancy but it wasn't nearly as exciting.

And let me just say that in our experience, finding out at the U/S didn't even begin to compare with finding out in the delivery room.

THIS! THIS! THIS!

mrs.george2be04 · June 2011

I've heard it's amazing getting the news in the delivery room. I'll never know how that feels though. Smile

I HAD to know. Not because I'm a planner, although we did have fun setting his room up, but simply because I just really, really, REALLY wanted to know. I'd find out at conception if possible. Wink

I'm possibly the most impatient person on the planet. Add to that, an ultrasound machine at my fingertips, and you've got the makings of crazy. In the interest of full disclosure, my co-worker and I started looking at 14 weeks. That is nuts. We found out it was a boy at 15 weeks. I will say, I felt like I started bonding with the baby more, once we found out. We already had a name picked out, so we were calling him Logan already. That was nice. Good luck with your decision!

Want a personalized experience?

What did you do? (finding out sex of baby)

Re: What did you do? (finding out sex of baby)

Choose Another Board

Search Boards