vbac turned RCS (long)

First off - thank you to all on this board that have offered encouragement and advice over the last few months. I was mostly a lurker but really appreciated the honesty and support all of you ladies have shown!!

I wanted an unmedicated vbac because I feel like intervention leads to intervention and it all leads to c-section. I tried. In hindsight, I wish I would've hired a doula! Not sure it would've changed the outcome but it would've changed the course...on to the details...

 I woke up on Friday having what I thought were BH but realized they felt "different". Not painful, just different. dd and I were going to run some errands. First was getting some mexican food (my craving). We went to the restaurant right at 11 when they opened and sometime around 11:30 I had a contraction that was actually painful. We went to Kohls...while there, I was having contractions I couldn?t easily walk or talk or do anything.

 Driving home through a contraction was not good...I had to pull over a couple times to wait it out. Definitely found that fighting a contraction = bad!! We got home and I put a movie in for dd and called dh and was ready to ask him to leave work early but it was almost time for him to get off work so he stuck it out (but drove home in record time!!!). dh came home and got to work on packing and getting things together as we were totally unprepared. I called my mom to come get dd for my sister. My sister was going to watch dd but she had minor surgery that morning and couldn't drive...go figure.

I decided to lay down on the couch for a bit and contractions seemed to stop. I got up to go to the rr and had the worst contraction yet! I got to the rr and had diarrhea and vomited...it gave me hope that maybe things were going a lot faster than I thought. We called the dr and they said to head into the hospital.

 The ride to the hospital was terrible - 10 minutes and 5 contractions. I had to have dh stop whenever they came on b/c it hurt my back so bad. I was a total mess by the time we got to the hospital ? shaking horribly. dh got a wheelchair but I pushed it (and my luggage) into the hospital. Finally checked into triage and they wanted me to get into bed so they could monitor my contractions and the baby. Lying down was so painful! Worst part I was only 1.5 cm. The contractions were sporadic so they sent us walking for a couple hours. We came back about 2 hours later and I was 3 cm so they admitted me.

While they were monitoring me the first time they informed me that the baby had a heart arrhythmia and asked if we had been told that before. Nope - it was news to us. They said it was something they would have to keep a close eye on considering the vbac (not sure why they would be related). The hospital claims to be vbac friendly but frankly I thought they did a lot of "uterine rupture risk? talk. DH told them we had done our research and felt that the vbac was right - I was so proud of him!   I digress...

We get into the labor room about 7 pm. I wanted to shower but was told I had to stay on the monitors. I ended up sitting on the birthing ball and leaning against the bed. Around 10 pm I had to go to the rr and found that walking was pretty difficult. It seemed like moving at all would bring on a contraction. I ended up getting sick again so they decided they should check me again. I was only at 4 cm. I was devastated and exhausted and so done. This is where I wish I would?ve had a doula! I ended up opting for the epidural and nubain.

Nubain did nothing as far as I could tell. They put in the epidural and wanted me to lie down on my back so that it would distribute evenly. Lying on my back was the absolute worst! I pretty much have no idea what exactly happened after this point because the pain was excruciating (stupid epidural). They had kicked dh out of the room while they did the epidural. After 3 doses and still being in excruciating pain I begged for dh and they went to get him.

At this point the doctor can?t figure out why I am in so much pain and thinks that I might be rupturing. So, he breaks my water so he can check for blood and start internal monitoring. I remember telling him ?no, it?s too early?.  Thankfully they determined I was not rupturing and gave another dose of the epidural. They also gave me more nubain and somehow I was able to get some rest. It was not restful rest and the nurse kept coming in to move me around. It was so frustrating because it hurt for her to touch my legs and every time they moved me was very painful so they would have to come redose the epi. They were doing internal monitoring on me and the baby. Apparently they started some pitocin at some point but the baby didn?t tolerate that so they stopped it. Several times the leads to the monitors would come out and have to be redone. Basically, it was a very long, miserable night.

Around 5:30 am they checked me and I was dilated to 10 cm but the baby was not tolerating contractions well and they weren?t sure it would be good for me to push. The dr. came in and determined we could try pushing for an hour and see how things went. I pushed for 45 minutes and the baby would descend while I pushed but would go back up whenever I stopped. The dr. said I could push for a little bit more but that since the baby didn?t stay down he couldn?t use the vacuum and the baby wasn?t tolerating the contractions well at all. I opted to forgo those last 15 minutes of pushing and go for the RCS.

They came and put more meds in the epidural and started more antibiotics. About an hour later they were ready for the section. I could feel way more this time than I could last time and it was a bit freaky and scared me. They started without dh and I had to ask for them to get him?thankfully he was brought back before ds was born! I asked them to lower the curtain or provide a mirror and they said they would but then didn?t. I was pissed and cried! They took ds to the nursery almost immediately because they didn?t like his breathing. There was a whole lot of me saying ?I want my baby.?

I was taken to recovery and continued asking for my baby.  People kept asking his name and we hadn?t decided yet. I needed to see him first. Finally they brought him. Apparently my vitals weren?t looking so hot but when they brought the baby I stabilized pretty quickly. We did skin to skin and nursed and he latched on right away! His breathing stabilized and his heart arrhythmia was a non-issue. He was facing straight up (hello back labor) and was tightly tangled in his cord. Theodore William weighed in at 7 lbs 3 oz and was 20.5 inches long.

Both dh and I were quite traumatized by the experience?it was exactly what I didn?t want to happen. We have a healthy baby and that is the most important thing, but we both might need a little therapy to get past the birth experience.