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F/U: Should I bring this to DH's Attention IL ?

RSMom32011RSMom32011
in Babies: 3 - 6 Months

I talked to DH about it. I brought it to him like this, "Babe, are your parents scared that I don't want them holding R? Like they have to ask, or don't want to step on toes. I know I'm always holding her when were over there. But that's just because of the dog. They are more than welcome to hold her, and I feel stingy always holding her while they're around." I tried to make it like it may have been more my fault, mainly because I didn't want to add salt to the wounds.

His response, "No... MIL just favors SIL kids. Oh, and plan on it getting worse when BIL has a kid."

I guess he knew and I just didn't recognize. I asked if he was hurt by it and he said, "no, that he washed his hands of that when they didn't come when she was born."  Oh well... Their loss.

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Re: F/U: Should I bring this to DH's Attention IL ?

  • liladelphia215liladelphia215 member
    That was a really good way of bringing it up. Sorry that your ILs are that way, but like you said, their loss for sure.
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  • MrsHollywood1023MrsHollywood1023

    Like PP said, that was a really good way to bring it up!  I'm sorry you and your DH have to deal with that but in the end you will have all of the memories with your LO and your ILs will have none. 

    ETA:  I just really hope that they change their ways before LO gets old enough to realize what they are doing.  I can't imagine knowing that my grandparents favored my cousins and didn't even come when I was born Sad

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  • RSMom32011RSMom32011
    imagejuliebean071:

    Like PP said, that was a really good way to bring it up!  I'm sorry you and your DH have to deal with that but in the end you will have all of the memories with your LO and your ILs will have none. 

    ETA:  I just really hope that they change their ways before LO gets old enough to realize what they are doing.  I can't imagine knowing that my grandparents favored my cousins and didn't even come when I was born Sad

    If they don't, there will be very little time spent with them and the other kids there. It's sad. But the other babies get so much attention already from MIL (even down to Facebook comments on pictures and pictures in the house.) I'm not going to let R feel like she's any less.

    In FIL's defense, I think with him, it is because he's not a big baby person. He doesn't hold the other babies either. So I think this will improve with time with him. 

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  • atalanta04atalanta04
    At least now you and DH are on the same page about it.  And like you said, it's their loss.  Hopefully they will turn around some time in the future, maybe they will be better with toddlers instead of babies, but who knows.  If they don't, you at least know you did what you could.  On the one hand, it is sad for DD that she won't really know some of her grandparents, but on the other hand, you want her to be surrounded by adoring and loving people.  So if the ILs can't be those kind of people, then why would you want DD around them anyway?
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