Can someone explain the "surprise"?

JMay · June 2011

I should never, ever look elsewhere on the Bump. Ever.

So this is what I don't understand... if you are dealing with IF, you are not using protection and therefore would be surprised if you became pregnant. (Whoo-hoo!)

But for fertiles, where the heck does the "surprise" part come in? Seriously, do you not know how it happens? Were you drunk? Are you feigning stupidity? I just don't get it, yet I hear this (and read this) all too often. It has a tendancy to rub this 2IFer the wrong way... If you are fertile, and you have unprotected sex, there's a good chance a BFP is coming your way in the next few months. That's the way it's supposed to work - it shouldn't be a surprise... right?

(Disclaimer: I had my own surprise, as DD came without treatment, after I had been told I'd never get KU on my own. Seriously hoping for another "surprise" asap.)

Pixiestx · June 2011

I had 2 friends with no fertility problems and a history of getting pg right away end up with surprises. 1 of them was using the CBEFM and had decided it wasn't really the right time for them to try, didn't have sex within her fertile period but she still ended up pg....with twins. The other had just come off the pill and miscalculated when she ovulated, which was confirmed by her first u/s which moved her due date by over a week. So yeah, they were both kinda surprised but because they knew more about how it works rather than less.

I've now had 3 suprise pg's which were all surprises for unique reasons, none of which were not trying. I hope yours is right around the corner!

bethCT · June 2011

LOL DD was the result of IUI (our third) and she was SUCH a surprise! My RE said we would do the one last IUI, test negative on whatever date and talk IVF. But WOAH! Not only did it work, but I KEPT her! I am still surprised

But I don't get it with fertiles either (and generally i am fairly sure they are lying)

jen-dale · June 2011

I know DD was a surprise in that we were TTA meaning I was charting and we DTD on CD 7 and O came CD10 which was 5 days early. So when we thought CD 7 was safe and after charting for months with consistent O she was a surprise. Now I think some people use the term surprise rather than saying "oops" to make it sound better too. And FWIW I hope you get a surprise soon!

teresadrew17 · June 2011

JMay I am right there with you! I get so sick of hearing and reading about "surprise babies" or "accident babies" with people who have no fertility issues. I went to a baby shower once for an "accidental" pregnancy. I was so confused- did they accidentally fall on top of each other while naked?? Otherwise, not really an accident. They knew how babies were made! Jeez. The one exception might be if the condom broke, but that's pretty rare. Ugh! Dang fertiles who get pregnant without trying! okay. vent over.

jennykg1477 · June 2011

I don't know. We had several friends who got pregnant by "surprise" for their number 2. For all of them, their first child was under 1. I asked the same thing, how can it be a surprise? They know how babies are made, they know how to prevent them from being made, so why is it a surprise? That being said, I was a little bit surprised with DD because I was charting and I thought for sure that we had missed the timing. However, I didn't descibe my pregnancy to people as a surprise because we were actively trying so I knew there was a chance.

JMay · June 2011

teresadrew17:
JMay I am right there with you! I get so sick of hearing and reading about "surprise babies" or "accident babies" with people who have no fertility issues. I went to a baby shower once for an "accidental" pregnancy. I was so confused- did they accidentally fall on top of each other while naked?? Otherwise, not really an accident. They knew how babies were made! Jeez. The one exception might be if the condom broke, but that's pretty rare. Ugh! Dang fertiles who get pregnant without trying! okay. vent over.

This! For those of us charting, doing treatment, or doing something to TTC, while we may be surprised it worked, it's not the "kind" of surprise that bothers me. I LOVE those surprises!!! It's the "oopsies" that need a plausible excuse... it's the "but it was only one time" and such. I have a girlfriend who was seperated from her DH - he took her out to dinner on Valentines day 2010. Their little girl is now 8 months old. Where was her brain that night??? The good news is they are back together, and things are ok, but at the time it was stupidity at work. YKWIM?

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