Can someone explain the "surprise"? — The Bump
Secondary IF

Can someone explain the "surprise"?

I should never, ever look elsewhere on the Bump.  Ever.

So this is what I don't understand... if you are dealing with IF, you are not using protection and therefore would be surprised if you became pregnant. (Whoo-hoo!) 

But for fertiles, where the heck does the "surprise" part come in?  Seriously, do you not know how it happens?  Were you drunk?  Are you feigning stupidity?  I just don't get it, yet I hear this (and read this) all too often.  It has a tendancy to rub this 2IFer the wrong way...  If you are fertile, and you have unprotected sex, there's a good chance a BFP is coming your way in the next few months.  That's the way it's supposed to work - it shouldn't be a surprise... right?

(Disclaimer: I had my own surprise, as DD came without treatment, after I had been told I'd never get KU on my own.  Seriously hoping for another "surprise" asap.)

Dori image
"Just keep swimming, just keep swimming..."

Miracle DD born 12.2005
TTC #2 since Dec 2008 w/ PCOS
***P/SAIF Always Welcome***

Keep it Natural, Baby!

Re: Can someone explain the "surprise"?

  • I had 2 friends with no fertility problems and a history of getting pg right away end up with surprises.  1 of them was using the CBEFM and had decided it wasn't really the right time for them to try, didn't have sex within her fertile period but she still ended up pg....with twins.  The other had just come off the pill and miscalculated when she ovulated, which was confirmed by her first u/s which moved her due date by over a week.  So yeah, they were both kinda surprised but because they knew more about how it works rather than less.  

    I've now had 3 suprise pg's which were all surprises for unique reasons, none of which were not trying. I hope yours is right around the corner! 

    Brenna Married 4.30.05

    Mom to Teagan 4.11.07 and Cora 9.30.11

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  • LOL DD was the result of IUI (our third) and she was SUCH a surprise!  My RE said we would do the one last IUI, test negative on whatever date and talk IVF.  But WOAH!  Not only did it work, but I KEPT her!  I am still surprised :)  But I don't get it with fertiles either (and generally i am fairly sure they are lying)  :)
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    And with the delivery trifecra of one twin vaginal, one c-section with general anesthesia for twin B, Spencer and Sidney joined us at 35 weeks exactly on June 18.

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  • I know DD was a surprise in that we were TTA meaning I was charting and we DTD on CD 7 and O came CD10 which was 5 days early. So when we thought CD 7 was safe and after charting for months with consistent O she was a surprise. Now I think some people use the term surprise rather than saying "oops" to make it sound better too. And FWIW I hope you get a surprise soon!
    Oct 2008 m/c #1 5 weeks, May 2009 m/c #2 4w5d. BFP 6/23/09 EDD 3/8/10!
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  • JMay I am right there with you! I get so sick of hearing and reading about "surprise babies" or "accident babies" with people who have no fertility issues. I went to a baby shower once for an "accidental" pregnancy. I was so confused- did they accidentally fall on top of each other while naked??  Otherwise, not really an accident.  They knew how babies were made! Jeez.  The one exception might be if the condom broke, but that's pretty rare.  Ugh!  Dang fertiles who get pregnant without trying!  okay. vent over. :)
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  • I don't know.  We had several friends who got pregnant by "surprise" for their number 2.  For all of them, their first child was under 1.  I asked the same thing, how can it be a surprise?  They know how babies are made, they know how to prevent them from being made, so why is it a surprise?  That being said, I was a little bit surprised with DD because I was charting and I thought for sure that we had missed the timing.  However, I didn't descibe my pregnancy to people as a  surprise because we were actively trying so I knew there was a chance.
    Me: 33 No known issues
    DH: 32 Varicocele
    DD: Born April 1, 2008
    Trying to conceive #2 since March 2010
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  • JMayJMay member

    image teresadrew17:
    JMay I am right there with you! I get so sick of hearing and reading about "surprise babies" or "accident babies" with people who have no fertility issues. I went to a baby shower once for an "accidental" pregnancy. I was so confused- did they accidentally fall on top of each other while naked??  Otherwise, not really an accident.  They knew how babies were made! Jeez.  The one exception might be if the condom broke, but that's pretty rare.  Ugh!  Dang fertiles who get pregnant without trying!  okay. vent over. :)

    This!  For those of us charting, doing treatment, or doing something to TTC, while we may be surprised it worked, it's not the "kind" of surprise that bothers me.  I LOVE those surprises!!!  It's the "oopsies" that need a plausible excuse... it's the "but it was only one time" and such.  I have a girlfriend who was seperated from her DH - he took her out to dinner on Valentines day 2010.  Their little girl is now 8 months old.  Where was her brain that night???  The good news is they are back together, and things are ok, but at the time it was stupidity at work.  YKWIM?

    Dori image
    "Just keep swimming, just keep swimming..."

    Miracle DD born 12.2005
    TTC #2 since Dec 2008 w/ PCOS
    ***P/SAIF Always Welcome***

    Keep it Natural, Baby!
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