feeling overwhelmed

emmyloustu · June 2011

This baby is due in the next 10wks or so and I am starting to freak out. My house is a DISASTER! Seriously! Dh and I have been doing the minimum to get by around here for weeks and it is catching up with us. Not to mention, this house is way too small and we are bursting at the seams. I hate it here.

The house needs decluttered and then deep cleaned. We have paperwork out the wazoo to deal with. I have some bigger projects on my list like clean out and scrub the fridge, organize some cupboards, clean out Eliza's closet and cleanout the spare room and turn it into some kind of makeshift nursery. I need to set up a changing station and find a closet or spare dresser for the baby, but we are buying a house in the next several months, so I don't want to spend $$$.

We have a million little things to do like baby laundry, install infant seat, stock up on dipes....

I just don't know where to start. I get nothing done when Eliza is awake and at nap time, by time I do the basics (dishes, straighten up, eat lunch and relax for a few), there is no time to dive into the bigger projects. Evenings are a whirlwind - dinner, bedtime, etc...and before we know it, it's 9pm and we are just sitting down. Our weekends are always jammed packed with family stuff and we honestly avoid being home because we know there is so much to do.

We tried the cleaning lady route, but had a bad experience and just haven't been motivated enough to find someone else.

Dh offered to take a day or two off, but I would rather him save his time for when the baby is born. My mom keeps saying she will help, but she works 80hrs per week and it is tough for her to carve time out.

HELP!

dana316 · June 2011

That's a tough situation. We are in a mess too. Our house is a disaster, and we are getting ready to do a massive addition that will affect almost every room in the house.

Stress sucks.

I just keep trying to remember that the only thing the baby REALLY needs is a decent place to sleep, a Mommy with milk on tap, a clean and dry hiney, and lots of love. Other than that, if the house is still a wreck when he gets here, oh well. He'll never know it ;-)

Hang in there...this too shall pass, I promise.

Mouseygail · June 2011

break it down into small projects, like half hour increments and do one each day! cleaning out the fridge is half an hour. declutter one room at a time...there are lots of great sites about the best way to do this...sounds like a great time to purge lots of stuff and pack away lots of stuff for the upcoming move!

(((HUGS))) I'm a little stressed just from reading your post! But take care of the important stuff or the stuff that will drive you crazy if its not done, and let the rest go!

madhatter2003 · June 2011

What about getting someone to come watch your DD while you get some projects done? It's summer, there are all kinds of high school/college students free, etc. Even a couple half days would get you started on closets, etc.

BeccaLandes · June 2011

that does sound overwhelming! maybe you could hire a sitter to take eliza when she is awake, maybe take her out to a play ground or something so the house is all yours, and get some things done in small increments.

over the weekend we did some cleaning/organizing just during naps- those 3 or so hours each day made a difference! good luck.

dana316 · June 2011

madhatter2003:
What about getting someone to come watch your DD while you get some projects done? It's summer, there are all kinds of high school/college students free, etc. Even a couple half days would get you started on closets, etc.

I LOVE this idea.

I may have to do this when we get more into our remodel and I need to do some shopping trips without interuption.

superned · June 2011

madhatter2003:
What about getting someone to come watch your DD while you get some projects done? It's summer, there are all kinds of high school/college students free, etc. Even a couple half days would get you started on closets, etc.

This is a good idea!

When I was getting wound up toward the end of my pregnancy (working FT, taking two graduate classes, trying to find a home for our foster dog), DH asked me to make a list of what HAD to be done before the baby came. I took some time and made a list of things that I really wanted to have done, and then just let everything else go - if it didn't get done, oh well. It was hard for me to commit to only the most important things, but I would have gone crazy otherwise.

The best thing was that DD was born exact 24 hours after I crossed the last thing off the list!

SeaSoul · June 2011

I'm sorry, emmy...I feel the same way! I wonder how many 2nd+ time moms don't feel overwhelmed? We are in a similar situation with the size and state of our house...and we are seriously considering finishing our attic to add space. But I keep saying to DH, "if we haven't even started the process, how are we going to get it done - with time to spare (very important, i think) - before the baby comes?! I know that once we are where you are, I'll have the same thoughts...I really don't trust that we'll be in any better of a position then than we are now. Ugh. I just hope once the baby arrives this other stuff won't matter as much to me.

yankee42 · June 2011

i truly don't have any advice, just commiseration I was a big hot mess before Audrey got here...i hated our place too, it was way too small...the boys hardly napped, DH worked too much, i was at the doctor constantly...i was VERY VERY lucky that I had MIL, she came over and gave me time to clean...but honestly nothing was ready at all when A was born...and it was okay...

but i 100% understand where you are coming from, and it is totally overwhelming and sucks

i hope you can get a little help!

emmyloustu · June 2011

Thanks ladies! I really appreciate the advice and the sympathy! Upon your advice, I emailed my SIL a few minutes ago to see if my 14y/o niece might be interested in coming over 2x per week to play with eliza, take her outside, stay with her while I run errands, etc...I am really hoping she says yes! My Dh and his brother work together and the office is just 10min from our house so I am thinking my niece's transportation would be a piece of cake.

Dh and I are also going to make a priority list tonight.

alchris · June 2011

I don't know if you'll see this, but i could have written nearly every word here last year. I was so unprepared and was so stressed about it. All I can say is many of those to do things still haven't happened here, and we lived. All you really need is a place for the baby to sleep (even temporarily), food, and diapers. I hated not being ready -- Kira was still in her room, none of her clothes were out of boxes -- but the smaller projects happened as they needed to and the larger projects, well, life goes on.

In sympathy, good luck!

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