How do you respond when people ask if you're ok?

LoveOfMikesLife · June 2011

If I respond at all I lie

I know that if I tell them the truth that it will go back to them thinking someone needs to be with me every second of every day.

almost 3weeks ago I had to hold my daughter in my arms as she grew cold and started to smell from decomposing! Do they really think that I could possibly be ok?

sweepie412 · June 2011

I honestly can't believe that anyone would ask you that. I agree with pp people just don't know what to say. I agree with you too, being completely honest would probably really scare people. I have said it before, I can't even imagine what you are going through. When people ask me, I just say "no" and leave it at that. ((more hugs))

tracyd21 · June 2011

I have been responding with a very flat "I'm fine". Very few people knew that I was PG, though...so it's really just my parents, siblings, and in-laws - I don't want to be rude to them, but I try to make it clear that I don't really want to talk about it. I have been very candid with a few close friends, and honestly it felt great to just be myself and not have them judge me for it.

quezzo · June 2011

I've started asking people, "How would you be?" or just telling them flat out that it is a stupid question. I'd prefer people ask me what's going on if they need some conversation lead in. At least that way, I could talk about things I have done that day rather than lying about being fine.

DesiraeSunshine · June 2011

I'm honest

i tell them i am getting by, but barely getting by some days. i tell them my life sucks and my babies are dead..point blank.

mrs.julia.goolia · June 2011

I like some of the pp's responses----I usually say that physically I'm much better but emotionally it's hit or miss. A lot of times I use my favorite tag line of 'hanging in there'. I think people ask this because they are generally concerned and hope that you say 'I'm MUCH better, thanks!' but they probably don't want to hear it if you aren't.

I am so so sorry for your loss, also. Hugs. And be kind to yourself during this grief roller coaster.

sabrina69barnes · June 2011

I tell them that physically I'm fine. It's not a lie because I am and the person who asked it gets to hear what they want to hear. I don't talk about how I'm feeling emotionally to anyone but DH and another friend who is also a loss mom.

igottacitylove · June 2011

I usually just say, "I'm fine," unless it is someone I am really close to. I don't think most people want to actually hear about my emotional state, even if they do ask. They just want to be polite or whatever. I also say, "I'm *physically* fine," (with extra emphasis on the physically).

However, almost 3 months out, rarely does anyone ask me how I am now..which is annoying in its own right, like 3 months is enough time to heal from something like this (as if you ever do).

BlondeBride123 · June 2011

I just tell them I have to take it all one day at a time. I have some decent days and some awful days. And depending on how that particular day is going, I tell them which day I'm having.

alliedoe · June 2011

I have been trying to figure out how to respond as well. People mean well but aren't quite sure what to say. I say, "surviving and taking it one day at a time". I do feel people expect life to move on for me, but I only lost the twins 3 weeks ago at 22 weeks. There is no quick recovery or good response for what we all have lost.

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