Daddy duties??

sclement7975 · June 2011

I think our situation is unique, but my DH is never home with us!! We are in the last fews weeks of building a house. He has done a lot of the work himself to save us money...which is awesome, but it has really been hard for us to spend time as a family. Sad He leaves for work before DD wakes up and then gets home from working on the house (after his full day of work) when she is already sleeping. I know it will get better once we move into the house, but I honestly don't know what to expect!!

What do your "baby daddies" (lol) do to help you? Should we just do everything together, or should we find certain things (like bath time) that just he does to spend time with her?

sbuxsweetie · June 2011

DH helps with feedings and diaper changes, but there are a lot of things I do myself. Spoon feeding, baths, and the bedtime routine have become mommy & baby time.. probably because those things require a little more patience, which I seem to have more of than DH. He does help out whenever I ask him to, though, and he and DS have a great relationship.

TempeWick · June 2011

DH works in the city and his hours are long, so I know how you feel. He sees DS for a few minutes in the morning, but is most often home after he's asleep. If he is home for bath time, then DH always gives the bath, but I do the remainder of the bedtime routine. DH changes diapers, but since I'm BFing, I handle all feedings. I definitely do about 80% of the baby-related suff, but that's just the reality of our schedules. I'm a teacher, so my hours are much shorter, and now that I'm home for the summer, they are even better.

I'll bet that once you get into your house, things will get better. If they don't, sit down and talk to your husband. I had to do something similar a couple of months ago to get DH on board.

Autumn Bride 2007 · June 2011

My DH is always in charge of rocking LO to sleep. I feed her and then he swaddles her and puts her down. He also gets up with her at least once a weekend...twice if he isn't doing something else. He will feed her and play with her, then when she goes down for her morning nap, he will wake me up. But the majority of everything else is handled by me.

magdalina.h · June 2011

MH has been out of town for work the past month. He usually comes home on the weekends, but not always. When he's home, he does everything. He wants to spend as much time with Lucas as he can.

cgr8979 · June 2011

Well, Justin does a ton. In fact there isn't anything I do that he doesn't do. Since I started work last week, he's helped me out a ton. In fact, yesterday, he let me sleep and he woke up with T and fed her, changed her and got her ready for church so I didn't have to do a thing.

I guess the only thing I do (and I love..it's my favorite time of the day) is giving her a bath. I love to do that and J knows that.

daniellepanda · June 2011

My husband does everything, if not more then me, baby related things due to the fact that we both work FT but my work schedule is very demanding/long hours and a couple nights a week too. my husband wakes up with LO everyday around 6:30am and gives him his first bottle, gets him dressed and brings him to day care on his way to work. Everyday he picks him up from the nanny's house around 6pm brings him home and gives him a bottle. He changes his diapers, gives him bottles of BM, gets him in his pjs/swaddles him and puts him in his crib, washes his laundry, cleans his bottles, pushes the stroller, you name it he does it. The only thing I "do" that he doesn't is initiate baths for LO a couple times a week(he doesnt really think of this he would rather play or cuddle with LO) and I always fold his laundry and put it away. I am very thankful to have a husband who does 50%+ of the baby related duties with me, or I wouldn't be so into having a 2nd LO in the future.

If I was a SAHM I wouldn't expect him to do as much, but he did just as much even when I was on maternity leave just because he loves to take care of LO, he is his new best friend.

christyp80 · June 2011

My DH can do everything except BF. But he works late a few nights a week, so I end up doing everything on those nights. The nights he's home, he plays with her, gives her a bath, changes all diapers, makes bottles for the next day, and reads her a story. Then I nurse her to sleep. Recently, he's been getting up to give her a bottle of BM when she wakes at night. In the morning, he is responsible for dressing her and getting her to daycare.

Also, we've finished our basement since DD was born, and DH did most of the work himself. We contracted out the drywall mudding & taping and the carpet installation, but he hung the drywall, ran the electrical and HVAC, did in-floor heat in the bathroom, tiled the bathroom and installed all the plumbing and fixtures, and just recently finished the baseboard and window trim. Sympathies on how much work it is, and props to your DH for doing it all himself!! It will be awesome to move into the house and know that you saved so much money and still have a beautiful new house to show for it!

Lilleybug · June 2011

Right now I am home all day (I'm a teacher and it is summer break), so when DH gets home he takes Ty so I can have a bit of a break. We take turns with diapers. I do 80% of the feedings, but DH helps out occasionally. DH gives Ty a bath every night, it is their time together. After he is dressed, I swaddle him and feed him while DH fills up the air purifier. Then at night we take turns getting up. I do most the work, but DH helps out quite a bit. We try to take turns attending to baby's needs as best as we can,

njmoh · June 2011

MH works odd hours so, when I am in school he drops DD off to his dad's. He's off Tuesdays, so that day he spends entirely with her. He gives her the last feeding of the night and we take turns putting her down. Then he's off every other weekend and we do family things then. I handle all her baths, he helps with diapers and will get her dressed as long as I lay out her clothes.

mocknine · June 2011

Well, we are just the opposite of you. DH is home with RJ all day and I'm working. I have a killer commute so I am out of the house early and return right before her bath time. That is our time. I bathe her, feed her, and put her to bed. This gives DH a second to himself, and gives me the opportunity to have some quality time with her just the two of us.

So I think you should definitely find something that he can do with her on his own. It'll just provides a little bit of bonding time for them. Do you have a bedtime routine? Maybe he can do that? RJ goes to bed at a normal time, but when I was a baby my mom adjusted our schedule so she could spend time with us when she got home from work. Maybe you could do that for your DH? Keep your DD up later for him (the up-side is that she'll sleep later!)?

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