Community› The Bump Message Boards› Blended Families
Blended Families
New Discussion

Another milestone - update

juliettoddjuliettodd
in Blended Families

Today was the last day of the 30 day waiting period for BM to respond to our petition to terminate her parental rights.  As expected, she did not respond (sigh of relief).  Tomorrow we file the petition for a default hearing so that we can hurry up and wait, again, for a court date.  Ahhhh - the legal process drives me crazy (I realize that I am preaching to the choir here).  However, I am starting to see the light....way down there....at the end of the tunnel lol. 

I am going to pour myself a celebratory glass of wine.  Thank you ladies for your support/criticism/feedback!  Here is a drink for you too!  Drinks

Report Reply to Post

Re: Another milestone - update

  • cmanmomcmanmom

    Not to be a Debbie Downer but don't totally celebrate until the papers are SIGNED by the judge.

    I hate to be the bad example - but exH didn't respond either and we got the court date, still nothing, then his Mommy got him a lawyer literally the day before and 22 hours before it was over, it was all worthless and wasted money and time.

    Trust me, it SUCKED, and the courts totally allowed it.  Lamey mc lamerson.

    Report Reply
  • Loading the player...
  • juliettoddjuliettodd
    imagecmanmom:

    Not to be a Debbie Downer but don't totally celebrate until the papers are SIGNED by the judge.

    I hate to be the bad example - but exH didn't respond either and we got the court date, still nothing, then his Mommy got him a lawyer literally the day before and 22 hours before it was over, it was all worthless and wasted money and time.

    Trust me, it SUCKED, and the courts totally allowed it.  Lamey mc lamerson.

    Thank you for the response.  Do you mind sharing your backstory?  How long was it since exH had contact with your child/children?  What did the court decide?  I realize that it isn't a done deal until the judge signs the paperwork.  I am pretty confident that this will not be the case with BM.  She hasn't had any contact with my SSs in many years.  Even then, I totally see your point. 

    Report Reply
  • juliettoddjuliettodd
    I should also add, that although I am relieved she did not respond it is on a selfish note.  After reading what others go through on this board, I would prefer to keep things the way they are - without her in the picture.  However, IF she did respond and IF she did want to be part of their lives, we would work with her.  But the chances of that happening are very miniscule.  The intent was not to cut her out, just make sure the boys are provided for and stable if anything ever happened to DH.
    Report Reply
  • cmanmomcmanmom

    Sure, I'm in WA and abandonment is considered after a year, case by case.  My exH failed to use his visitation for 15 months before I started the process, and even then, I was allowing weekly telephone communication.  I also was not trying to "cut him out" - I was trying to make the PP what it had turned into, which was a phone call a week, no visits.

    exH wouldn't ever even tell me where he was, where he was living etc. and I was looking out for DS when I started the process AND I talked to exH about it and he agreed, saying he didn't know how long he was going to be out of state etc. and that he said whatever I said would be fine.

     Fast forward, he gets the papers, we talk about them etc.  No response, the 20 days are up, no response, I get a court date...crickets chirping.  And then his oh-so-enabling mommy swoops in and gets him a lawyer and that's all it took.  My lawyer called me 22 hours before our court time saying that he and his mommy met with a lawyer and it was all squashed.  Needless to say I was crushed.  What a waste of time, emotion, and money!

    I do know that every case is different, every background is different etc. but just be aware, until the judge signs the papers, the courts will allow crazy things to happen, even if they seem like they shouldn't!

    Report Reply
  • juliettoddjuliettodd
    imagecmanmom:

    Sure, I'm in WA and abandonment is considered after a year, case by case.  My exH failed to use his visitation for 15 months before I started the process, and even then, I was allowing weekly telephone communication.  I also was not trying to "cut him out" - I was trying to make the PP what it had turned into, which was a phone call a week, no visits.

    exH wouldn't ever even tell me where he was, where he was living etc. and I was looking out for DS when I started the process AND I talked to exH about it and he agreed, saying he didn't know how long he was going to be out of state etc. and that he said whatever I said would be fine.

     Fast forward, he gets the papers, we talk about them etc.  No response, the 20 days are up, no response, I get a court date...crickets chirping.  And then his oh-so-enabling mommy swoops in and gets him a lawyer and that's all it took.  My lawyer called me 22 hours before our court time saying that he and his mommy met with a lawyer and it was all squashed.  Needless to say I was crushed.  What a waste of time, emotion, and money!

    I do know that every case is different, every background is different etc. but just be aware, until the judge signs the papers, the courts will allow crazy things to happen, even if they seem like they shouldn't!

    Thank you for sharing.  I am so sorry this happend you!  I think in your case, because bio dad was still in contact (even if it was just phone calls) they will give him the benefit of the doubt.  BM has zero contact with SSs.  But, I certainly won't count my chickens before they hatch!

    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"