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Babies: 3 - 6 Months
daniellepanda
member
Q for those SAHM, help!
daniellepanda
member
We are trying anything we can so that I can stop working my 50 hour work weeks to stay at home with LO but so far its not panning out. I am just curious to those moms who stay at home how are you able to do it financially wise? Do your husbands all make large salary's so it isn't an issue or do you live in a place that has a low cost of living? We have contemplated even moving, since we do live in an expensive area right now which means I would not be able to stay at home unless my husband was able to get a job that pays a minimum of $65g a year here for us to afford our monthly rent/utility bills and food/gas money, etc. I don't want to be constantly stressed about our finances and living paycheck to paycheck just so I can stay at home with LO. Some months are like that now with us both working due to the medical bills and daycare costs.
Help I need advice!
Team Pink! Baby Girl due 8.2.15
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Re: Q for those SAHM, help!
MH only makes $35 grand a year and we're fine. We have $600 a month in bills, but really we could have less if DH gave up our cable.
I spend about $70-120 a week on groceries (not too shabby for a family of 5), cloth diaper most of the time so really don't have to pay for diapers, and we live comfortably. I cant shop til my heart's content (but really, what woman is ever content with what they have?) but no one ever goes hungry or without here.
We do just fine and have 3 vehicles, 2 of which are paid off already.
We sold one of our cars to get out from under the payment (and now only have one), moved into a small inexpensive home (we rent right now), and neither of us have smart phones and we use Metro PCS as our phone company. We have also cut out pretty much all leisure shopping, if we need clothes we shop at Walmart, Target, or Kohl's. I also write out a detailed list when going to the grocery store and don't get anything extra we do not need (check out www.e-meals.com for meal planning on a budget). I also have a very small home business selling stuff on Etsy, I've been able to buy little extras for me and the kids that way. Hope this helps!
Please share your secret! Does that include things like household items (dish soap, face wash, shampoo etc)??? I can't seem to get under $130!
Low cost of living, pretty much, basic cable, mid grade internet, avid bargain shopping (I can't name the last item of clothing I bought that was less than 50% off, to be honest) thrift stores, garage sales. Pretty much the basic cheapskatery.
ETA: I also bought our car outright off someone on craigslist with my tax return, so we have no car payment or anything. This is not something I'd recommend if you are not a/do not know a trained mechanic to take along with you to check out the car.
When we found out we were pregnant we started living just on DH's income and put mine into savings (I only worked 20 hrs a week). The only thing we have debt from is our house which is about $900 bucks a month. Our other bills come to about $450 bucks, and then groceries (it's just DH and I right now). When it comes to diapers I got a few boxes with the Amazon codes and I've gotten several small packages with coupons when they are on sale. We use Similac formula right now so I would use checks/coupons and only pay $6-11 bucks a simple pac but we are getting ready to/hopefully use Member's Mark. DH's bring home check is around $14-1500 every 2 weeks.
We live comfortable but we for sure could not afford a car payment (I really want a bigger car) but I would rather stay home with DD instead of work and send her to Daycare.
Do you guys have free housing since your DH is military? Our rent alone is $1450 here in san diego and we moved further inland when we found out we were expecting. Plus electric $75, cell phones $140, internet only $30 (turned off cable because of the cost) then 2 car payments $545, car insurance $125 & health insurance $400. I BF & pump so we dont need much formula at all, and my MIL sends us pampers every month so we dont buy diapers.
Then comes our lovely credit card and medical bills. We have been spending $200 a week on groceries and gas for 2 cars to go to work each week/bring LO to daycare, and then daycare is $600 a month for 4 days a week.We are contemplating filing for bankruptcy to get rid of the $720 a month we are paying for our medical bills and credit card payments
However even if we do that I still couldn't stay at home, because my husbands salary which is like $1200 twice a month would only cover all our basic utility and rent bills. No money left over for food,gas,etc.
I cant remember the last time we went shopping for anything other then clothes needed for LO or groceries. We never go out to eat anymore either so we are not frivolous shopping.
My DH works in the power plants crazy hours...takes winters and summers off...which is awesome.
We also have rentals which we don't make that much off of b/c we invest a lot into them.
We just watch what we spend and if we need extra money....dh does side jobs and stuff.
My husband started a new job in May, and the main reason was because it offered health benefits when his last job had none at all so the only option was through my job which is $400 a month for the 3 of us. Turns out the insurance thought his new job is even more expensive then mine, $400 for him and LO alone or $800 a month for the 3 of us, eeeps!!! He is still looking for another job but i'm sure many know its slim pickings out there.
Honestly, it doesnt sound like SAHM is in the cards for you. It sux, I know, but living in San Diego is expensive. Have you thought of leaving the area? Most of CA is pretty expensive though.
I have no idea how that other woman in SD says they live on $35k. They must not pay for housing. Or they are not in SD but in East County.....wayyyyyy East, LOL.
DH and I make pretty good money so it would not pay off for me to SAHM. Im not sure I would want to anyway, I was itching to get back to work after 14wks maternity leave.
Good luck!
haha, are you kidding? I think much more people would join the Army if housing was actually free. DH and I were thinking about moving on-post, but they would take housing allowance out of his paycheck. We live off base, and pay less for rent ($800/mo.) then what they would take out of his paycheck.
I SAH and DH makes rougly $30k.year. It is just the 3 of us. We pretty much live paycheck to paycheck but we make it work.
My first year as a SAHM, I took on a job as a "Mother's helper". I helped get the kids of this family off to school while DH was still home with DS in the mornings. Then DS and I went to pick the kids up after school and we played there until the mom got home.
I still had most of my day with DS, and he got to socialize with the other kids.
I would try looking for out of the box ways to make some kind of income!
DH started a cafe last year, so take out enough money to pay bills and buy food and that's it. We pay $550 for rent $150/250 in utilities (depending on the season) $120 for cell phones, $100 for car insurance, $200 for health insurance, and less than $300 for groceries. Gas is paid for through the cafe because 95% of our driving is for work. we just have the one car and we kept our junker until we could afford to buy our minivan cash on craigslist (we know a really great mechanic). All together we live on about $18,000 a year with about $3,000 in saving for emergencies. We could definitely live on less if we needed to. we could get a smaller apartment, we could not have texting and internet on our phones, we could be more conservative about our utility usage, etc.
For us it was practical because we don't have any personal debt (we have loans for the cafe, obviously, but the cafe pays for those). If we had debt, i wouldn't feel right about staying home when I could be working to pay it off. Since we don't have any debt and my staying at home is SO important to us we have worked really hard to make sure we live within DH's salary. And like I said, we could live on less if we needed to.
I Bump from my phone 90% of the time, with a baby in my lap, so please excuse my bad format and poor spelling and/or punctuation.
MY BLOG A Stay At Home Moms Search For All Things Sensational
I Bump from my phone 90% of the time, with a baby in my lap, so please excuse my bad format and poor spelling and/or punctuation.
BF only makes about $3,000 per month, and of that $2,000 is rent and bills [including student loans]. We don't have a car though [don't need one in this neighborhood]. We just live frugally. We don't consider ourselves poor, but we don't go out to eat very often. Maybe once per week, if at all?
I cook a lot, and we cloth diaper and make O's baby food, so hes not really a very expensive baby. We just party less, really.. We get produce from the farmer's market, which is cheap, and we buy grains and beans in bulk and cook from scratch, so, that alone saves a ton of money. We also have a garden for things like herbs, green beans, lettuce, and berries.
PG#1 - 3rd cycle BFP. Team Green. HELLP syndrome @ 34 weeks.
Later diagnosed with Hashimoto's Thyroiditis, possible link to HELLP.
PG#2 M/C 3/14 - Surprise BFP 2/13. Beta's doubled every 52 hours from 3w5d-5w5d
Viable pregnancy scan at 5w5d; 2nd u/s showed 2 days of growth in 7 but a HB of 120
3rd u/s on 3/10/14 had no HB and baby had only grown 7 days over 14
D&C 3/17/14 - complications - DX Retroflexed uterus, multiple tears to cervix
All Welcome
Chart
We're magical.
We live in the NYC area. Nothing is cheap. MH is a cop and brings home about 4200/month after taxes. We have a 2300/month mortgage and 1800 in necessity bills between the two cars, credit cards, school loans, utilities, and gas. Which leaves us with only 100/mo for groceries, eating out, and other random expenses. Not cool!
So, we came up with a master plan. I left my job permanently when I went on leave before DD's arrival, but we had saved enough to cover 4 months of my salary. So this plan goes into effect next month: I decided to work a few hours a week (10-15) while my mom or MIL is available to watch C, which will bring home an additional 500/mo or so, depending on the month. Aside from that, we cut Netflix, changed from cable to satellite to decrease our bill by over $60/month, and H will start taking the train to work once a week, which saves us $80/month in gas. H is changing his withholdings to bring home more money per paycheck. I also started coupon-shopping and we have started eating out less and keep it cheap when we do (just water for drinks, no apps, etc.). So now we have an additional $700 or so to live on each month, $400 of which goes to groceries, so ~$300 for any extra spending. It'll still be tight, but it's totally doable.
We still live nicely...we have HDTV and DVR and full data on our cell phones...there's plenty more we could realistically cut if we had to. But we prefer to live well and be careful in our spending elsewhere. For me, it came down to how important it was for me to SAH, and it was very, very important to me. I left a high-profile job in Manhattan to SAH and we cut the frills I mentioned. We have way less extra money to play with but I'm way happier knowing I can be home with my daughter.
Your situation sounds very tough, but I think you can definitely cut down on the grocery bill, work with the insurance companies on the medical bills, and saving $600 a month on daycare to stay at home is a big one. Can you find a p/t job and work a weekend day just to bring in a little money while a family member watches the baby? Also, don't be shy about calling your cell phone company and asking how they can lower your bill. A lot of times they'll work with you...or you can always threaten to leave. I know MetroPCS does plans for $50/mo for unlimited everything, no contract. We're considering it.
GL with whatever you choose!
This, and also consider debt consolidation. They can work to get you a lower monthly payment, forgive any late payment fees, and lower your interest rate so that you pay it off much faster. Good luck.
Umm...wow. Now for a more helpful response. H and I have done a lot of the same things everyone else has mentioned. We cut out a lot of the extras, like eating out, going to the movies, buying random things for ourselves. We started using coupons, limiting how far we drive for unnecessary things. We've just started making our own fun and finding free family friendly things to do on the weekends. It's not always easy but it's so worth it.
It's tough for us but we make it work. DH makes about $1650 a month and our fixed bills are $2050 plus whatever we need to spend on groceries and baby supplies that month. (Luckily DH's boss pays for insurance for all 3 of us since he hasn't been able to give DH an annual raise in several years. We also don't have to worry about medical bills since we set aside most of our tax refund this year to cover our insurance deductible and about 10 trips to the doctors' co-pays for DD.)
I work third shift at a hotel 2 nights a week to cover the gap in our bills and so far it's worked great. It's a good job, 3rd shift pays better than days, & I love that I get to stay home with DD the rest of the time. The downside is that we're not saving anything- nothing for retirement, vacations, of DD's education, but to us it's worth sacrificing that for now for me to be home with her.
I've been surprised by how well we're making it work. Last summer I was working 50 hrs a week as a hotel manager so our income was more than double but our lifestyle wasn't any better. We could afford 2 nice vacations a year and more dinners out, but our day to day life now is so much better with me SAH most of the time. It's all a matter of your priorities and figuring out your actual bills and income. We don't have cable (we do Netflix instead), DH bikes to work instead of driving (15 miles/day), we don't buy much alcohol anymore, and instead of going out for brunch we pack coffee from home, stop by a local bakery, and have breakfast in the park when we feel like doing something special.
2012 Book Challenge: 20 of 50
Sophia Leigh has arrived! 02.09.11
We were paying $240 a week for daycare and I was working a 40hr-per-week job and also doing photography on the side. My H got two raises this year and in a few weeks will be in a new position at a new company. We realized that if we got rid of daycare and added his raise that it would be the same as my salary. I'm still doing photography but mostly project management for my friends photography business and then about 8 weddings a summer.
Can you find a position where you can work from home? Or does your current office allow you to work from home?
I do not think SAH is right for you right now. Your rent is too high - $1,450 is just TOO MUCH, even for a HCOL area.
Also, you have way too much debt, including car payments. If you are this tight - How are you supposed to handle an emergency that could arise?
When I was working we lived off of DH's salary alone and put all my money into savings. Now that I'm not working we aren't saving as much, but still do save some, but we are used to living with what we have. Also, we only have one car - DH takes the bus to work, and we just cut out the things we don't really need. I EBF and CD which both save us money (well, the CD hasn't saved money yet, but it will).
I'm not great with groceries and whatnot, but for things we buy a lot (chicken, paper towels, etc), I know what my price is that I'm willing to pay and never buy it if it is not under that price.
PG#1 - 3rd cycle BFP. Team Green. HELLP syndrome @ 34 weeks.
Later diagnosed with Hashimoto's Thyroiditis, possible link to HELLP.
PG#2 M/C 3/14 - Surprise BFP 2/13. Beta's doubled every 52 hours from 3w5d-5w5d
Viable pregnancy scan at 5w5d; 2nd u/s showed 2 days of growth in 7 but a HB of 120
3rd u/s on 3/10/14 had no HB and baby had only grown 7 days over 14
D&C 3/17/14 - complications - DX Retroflexed uterus, multiple tears to cervix
All Welcome
Chart
We get paid $2000 a month for rent, but since it goes straight into our townhouse rental we don't count it in our budget. If we did then we'd have $2600 in bills a month, but we'd also be considered getting paid over $50K a year. Which still isn't a whole heck of a lot, but oh well. MH is an E6, and we're just now starting to get paid for it. As in, when we get paid this week, that's when we'll see a small pay increase. As in, only an extra $200 a month, which doesn't cover our car payment. But we budget well and cut corners where we can, but we always eat well around here.
I love hillbillyhousewife.com for a lot of frugal recipes that are by no means beany weeny. They're super awesome recipes on the cheap. That's how I learned to use a cup of ketchup plus either a can of coke or 2 cups of apple juice to make my own BBQ sauce when cooking ribs in the oven or a pork roast in the oven. It's SO frugal and SO delicious, and loads more original than using the same lame BBQ sauce everyone else is using.