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February 2011 Moms
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Anyone else NOT having sex yet?

tarynkimtarynkim member
in February 2011 Moms
I feel like the most horrible wife on the planet.  Holland is 19 weeks old and my husband and I just attempted sex two days ago.  I've been terrified and it hurt every bit as much as I thought it would.  Needless to say, the deal was not sealed.  Now I'm so scared to try again, but I feel so bad for my husband.  How many times will it hurt this badly?  Please tell me I'm not the only one that is just getting around to this...
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Re: Anyone else NOT having sex yet?

  • christyp80christyp80

    For me, it hurt maybe the first 5 times.  And we've been having it, but not very often.  I'm so exhausted and it just seems like another thing on the to-do list. 

    I will say though, once I stop dwelling about the extra 5-10 minutes (what? we're efficient!) of sleep I'm losing while we're doing it, it's actually fun!

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  • LilleybugLilleybug member
    We tried at 5 weeks pp and it hurt waaaay too bad. Tried again at 6 weeks pp and it got a little better. Id say by the 4/5 time I was completely fine and back to normal. My OB (who is like this 70 y/o male) at my 6 week check up said  have a little night cap and you'll be just fine lol!
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  • Wufroggy79Wufroggy79 member
    imageLilleybug:
    We tried at 5 weeks pp and it hurt waaaay too bad. Tried again at 6 weeks pp and it got a little better. Id say by the 4/5 time I was completely fine and back to normal. My OB (who is like this 70 y/o male) at my 6 week check up said  have a little night cap and you'll be just fine lol!
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  • RumbleLinaRumbleLina member

    My OB suggested having a few glasses of wine prior to help me relax. Tensing up and not relaxing is just going to make the pain worse and it will probably hurt the first few times. Also, remember the lube. Use half the bottle if you need, lol.

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  • ele617ele617
    imagechristyp80:

    For me, it hurt maybe the first 5 times.  And we've been having it, but not very often.  I'm so exhausted and it just seems like another thing on the to-do list. 

    I will say though, once I stop dwelling about the extra 5-10 minutes (what? we're efficient!) of sleep I'm losing while we're doing it, it's actually fun!

     Lol! Same here, except we're not quite as efficient...although that would be nice. ;-)

    To answer OP, it still hurts me a little at the start (we've done it maybe 6-7 times), but DH takes it slow and then I'm all good. You'll get there! Unfortunately the only way, though, seems to be doing it. Lol.

    And yes, as PP said, use lots of lube!

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  • GracieMaeLoveyGracieMaeLovey member
    imageele617:
    imagechristyp80:

    For me, it hurt maybe the first 5 times.  And we've been having it, but not very often.  I'm so exhausted and it just seems like another thing on the to-do list. 

    I will say though, once I stop dwelling about the extra 5-10 minutes (what? we're efficient!) of sleep I'm losing while we're doing it, it's actually fun!

     Lol! Same here, except we're not quite as efficient...although that would be nice. ;-)

    To answer OP, it still hurts me a little at the start (we've done it maybe 6-7 times), but DH takes it slow and then I'm all good. You'll get there! Unfortunately the only way, though, seems to be doing it. Lol.

    And yes, as PP said, use lots of lube!

    yup, yup.

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  • magdalina.hmagdalina.h member
    we're having sex, but only like 4 times. MH got a new job when Lucas was a month old and travels a lot. We haven't had sex since the middle of May. When he gets home he gets frisky, but it's usually around 2am and Lucas STTN and I want to too. lol
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  • sbuxsweetiesbuxsweetie member

    We are having sex, but I have ZERO sex drive most of the time. Poor DH.. he's very straightforward, and when DS is down for a nap, he'll say "you want to go to the bedroom?" and I'll look at him like Huh? and say "I guess, if you want to" ... really romantic, huh? 



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  • Jennabug25Jennabug25

    It will get better, the first 4-5 times it hurt so bad! Then magically it stopped and now sex is better then ever!

    Even if we only have it maybe once a week...

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  • meheron80meheron80

    I was not cleared to have sex for almost three months because of the damage caused (over 22 stitches).  We have prob had sex about 8 or 9 times since then but it still hurts in certain positions. 

    My suggestion: Find some alternatives to sex - use this time to discuss other fantasies or things you would like each other to do.  Take a shower together when the baby is asleep or occupied.  Massage, Oral? or like we did, I went to a store and got a small vibrator when we first started because I was scared.  We used that at first which turned him on a lot.  This allowed me to be less tense since it was smaller and I could control it or tell him what to do without his body weight being against me. 

    Good luck - and get some good, nice tasting creme for down there... It will help a lot.  

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