passed on baby items....thoughts???

OurJellybean · June 2011

I said passed down cause i realized i have no idea how to spell "handidowns" "handydowns" lol. Anyways i wanted to see what your thoughts are on this issue, while trying not to sound spoiled or unappreciative. My husband and I are expecting our first child and it seems family and friends are more than willing to give us their used baby items left and right... which is great because it saves us the money (although we can afford it), and most baby stuff doesnt even get used much so its newish anyways. We had our SIL give us a crib, high chair, clothing etc etc and more people say they are bringing things over in the next few months. So whats wrong with this??? ...Some times I feel like a charity case and people think because i just finished college that we must not be able to afford anything when infact we work great jobs and are great savers. I want to contribute to this child too and have something new for the child.. not everything used and abused. I think this is silly talk and I should be thankfull for what I have been given, i believe my hormones are out of wack but its the way i feel right now. I am thankfull for all the support but sometimes its too much?? I dont really know lol. Whats your thoughts??

wrharlow · June 2011

I can afford my own stuff too and I wish people were bringing stuff over! I know a lot of people that have had babies and are done with their stuff and they haven't offered any of it to me

If you don't want it...send it this way

GoldenPeaches · June 2011

I am buying a lot of used gear and clothes used for the baby, and a woman that I didn't even know here was giving away stuff for free and I went right over and got tons of stuff. I don't think it makes you a charity case at all, it just makes you a smart consumer. If there's something you really don't want used, I am sure you could tell them. I.e. "I really want to buy a brand new bathtub because there is one I had in mind, but thank you so much for your generosity!" If they insist, take the stuff/clothes/whatever and donate it to a womens shelter or goodwill.

With the above said, I wouldn't buy or accept a car seat or a crib used. That is beyond my comfort level in regards to safety.

Julia_JJ · June 2011

Don't worry - you'll have 18+ years to contribute to this child. The more money you can keep in the bank, the better.

If it really bothers you, maybe pick one special item - say, a nice glider or something that wouldn't necessarily get passed down - that you invest in. And then whenever you sit in it (or look at whatever it is), you have a special connection to it that might not have been there if it was just one more thing you had to buy.

Madringal · June 2011

First of all, the phrase is "hand me downs". No fancy spelling - just three words. I am constantly amazed that people don't know this.

Second, so then buy what you want. If someone offers you something, and you dont want it, a simple "No thank you, we already have something in mind." will do. No one is going to care.

chankins14 · June 2011

I'm a HUGE fan of hand-me-downs!! We got our crib, changing table, swing, pnp, a TON of clothes & a bunch of other stuff from family & friends when I had DS. It was great!! Yes, we, too, can afford to purchase these things but why if someone else has it, isn't using it & wants to give it to you? It keeps things out of the landfills, too! We took the friends that gave us the crib & changing table out to dinner to say thank you.

Ricola · June 2011

Madringal:
First of all, the phrase is "hand me downs". No fancy spelling - just three words. I am constantly amazed that people don't know this.

Second, so then buy what you want. If someone offers you something, and you dont want it, a simple "No thank you, we already have something in mind." will do. No one is going to care.

Yes to all of this.

iluvmylab · June 2011

Ricola:
Madringal:

First of all, the phrase is "hand me downs". No fancy spelling - just three words. I am constantly amazed that people don't know this.

Second, so then buy what you want. If someone offers you something, and you dont want it, a simple "No thank you, we already have something in mind." will do. No one is going to care.

to all of this.

This. People are just trying to be nice. If you don't want it, don't take it and go buy what you want. No harm done.

2gr8pits · June 2011

We have more than enough money to buy the baby things, but I gladly take all hand me downs I can get! Whatever money I can save then use on things we need after the baby is born makes it worth it to me. They also come in handy because your baby might not like the swing you buy it but may like the standard swing someone gave to you...or it may not like the swing someone gave to you and then you have extra money to go buy a bouncy seat or something else that it does like. The items are "new" to me and I love that!

Chargersgrl33 · June 2011

By the time Wyatt comes we won't have purchased much at all. Most everything we have/are getting is a hand me down. As long as everything is safe and still ok to use I say go for it. It's not like some of the stuff will be used for a long period of time, so it only makes sense to send them to someone else.

Mike&Care · June 2011

Ricola:
Madringal:
First of all, the phrase is "hand me downs". No fancy spelling - just three words. I am constantly amazed that people don't know this.

Second, so then buy what you want. If someone offers you something, and you dont want it, a simple "No thank you, we already have something in mind." will do. No one is going to care.
to all of this.

Yep all that and lol to "handydowns". My 7 year old told me this morning "I'm putting on my babing suit" and I said "what did you call it?" and she said "babing suit" and I said "did you know it's baTHing suit? Then she giggles. Sometimes words jumble together. I get it Big Smile

nekillo · June 2011

I would take things... grandparents may want extra stuff, and if ends up not getting used make sure you are clear on if they are lending it to you or giving it to you. (we ran into this issue where my cousin "borrowed" our aunts stroller, then gave it to goodwill when she was done, but my aunt wanted it back for her grandkids).

I can see drawing a line on some things, I will be getting a new stroller, carseat, and pack 'n play; I don't know if I'm getting a crib right away, but I will be borrowing a friend's high chair, and my cousin has about 5 totes of clothes (she had 4 boys, a lot is gender neutral, but especially newborn-6 months they grow so fast it was hardly used! even after 4 boys!)

Mye · June 2011

I get it, its your first baby you want it to be special, and I agree that somethings are a must new, if nothing else for safety reasons.

But other things, like clothes, IMO are perfectly acceptable as hand me downs, babies can go thru a lot of clothes in one day, but outgrow them so quickly, nothing wrong with some gently used, clean clothes from friends. I am so thankful for everything people have given us so far.

LDQAM516 · June 2011

That's tough...because when it's your first...part of that whole experience is getting all the new things at showers and such...and to search for the perfect stuff for your baby. I will say that there are things that aren't worth buying...or have someone buy if you can have it handed down...like a play mat(mine hardly used) and bouncy seat(they aren't in it long)...these are two things I can think off the top of my head that I wouldn't mind using being passed down...but a highchair(they get disgusting after one years use...even if it is cleaned thoroughly), crib, jumperoo and some clothing...and stuff like that...I'd prefer to have new...especially if you want more than 1 kid...This is just my opinion

dottymobo · June 2011

Dollars to doughnuts people are offering you things not because you're a charity case, but because they want to see the things they lovingly chose go to someone they care about, or to pass on the favor. Possibly just to get it out of their house, but there are plenty of ways to do that!

Buy some "special" things and your car seat and crib, and take the hand me downs, IMO! I'd make sure that they're not expected back, but then you can keep what you want then donate or pass on the rest- and ditto about keeping in mind things for your parents house or similar.

kwcw · June 2011

With our first we took all the hand me downs people offered, from there we decided what to use and what to buy ourselves. I remember counting the onsies we got and thinking what the heck will we do with 53 onsies in 0-3 and then we ended up buying more because so many got ruined, stained, etc.

I would just ask up front if they wanted them back and if they said no I took them, if they did I turned them down because I didn't want to keep track of what belonged to certain people.

Rosie24 · June 2011

I understand where everyone else here is coming from but I agree with what you are saying.

Although everyone's intentions are good and I am/would be more than appreciative my response is usually..no thank you. It's our first and we can afford baby clothing, new furniture, etc...I am sure we will get a ton of stuff from family, friends, etc. and at the shower. Now if something is brand new and the giver has absolutely no need for them, then maybe I will be more likely to accept it. Needless to say of course we will pass down our own LO's gently used items to our next child in the future (God willing).

My husband on the other hand would be more than happy to entertain any good potential hand-me-downs..though it's most likely not happening lol;)

uncharch7 · June 2011

The less I have to buy, the better. I'm seriously not trying to sound cheap, I'm just trying to be realistic. People are giving stuff to me because they don't want it in their house anymore taking up space, I have a need, so I'll happily use it.

The two things we won't do used are a crib and carseat. The only exceptions to this are if I know the person very well.

Our goal with everything except for those two items is to get what we can off Craigslist, eBay, consignment sales/stores and garage sales. I'm just not into buying the new stuff.

OurJellybean · June 2011

Madringal:

First of all, the phrase is "hand me downs". No fancy spelling - just three words. I am constantly amazed that people don't know this.

Second, so then buy what you want. If someone offers you something, and you dont want it, a simple "No thank you, we already have something in mind." will do. No one is going to care.

I knew I would get slack for that lol. I think where I live people honestly say handydowns and not hand me downs lol. I will remember that in the future anyways!

Mike&Care · June 2011

uncharch7:
The less I have to buy, the better. I'm seriously not trying to sound cheap, I'm just trying to be realistic. People are giving stuff to me because they don't want it in their house anymore taking up space, I have a need, so I'll happily use it.
The two things we won't do used are a crib and carseat. The only exceptions to this are if I know the person very well.
Our goal with everything except for those two items is to get what we can off Craigslist, eBay, consignment sales/stores and garage sales. I'm just not into buying the new stuff.

This is super smart and what we did with our baby stuff last time. The only thing new were the crib, stroller and carseat... I'd definitely consider a used stroller too, but it was a gift, so we happily accepted the new one. My husband makes great money and we can afford new, but why spend the money? I'd rather save it and go on a babymoon or something Plus, you seriously use stuff like 5 times, we got a bumbo with tray for $10 at a garage sale, but at BRU it's like $50+. Ripoff.

rxyb13 · June 2011

wrharlow:
I can afford my own stuff too and I wish people were bringing stuff over! I know a lot of people that have had babies and are done with their stuff and they haven't offered any of it to me
If you don't want it...send it this way

This exactly :-)

bendylim · June 2011

I would take all that you can get. If it's something you really want to buy new, just politely pass and put it on your registry. Save your money for the diapers and wipes that you will need for years to come.

We were given probably 97% of what we needed for DS before he was born. With that being said, there was still a lot that we ended up buying esp. clothing (partially due to DS being so much smaller than all my other nephews). You will also find that hand-me-downs tend to dry up around the 2 year mark as things just get so beat up by the kids that they down get passed on, that you should take what you can get.

indomesticbliss · June 2011

take the "hand me downs", as long as they are in good and usable condition. You can trade in a used car seat at the BRU "Great Trade In" event and get 20% off the purchase of a new car seat.

There will be plenty of planned, and unplanned, expenses in the next year that you should save money for, and even if you feel like you have "all the money you need" there's always something. Or just save it and put it away for your kids college/future.

robynlynn83 · June 2011

Me personally? I would take anything anyone offered in good condition when it comes to clothes etc. Cribs and carseats are my exceptions unless they are from someone you know well and you know took great care of them.

Trust me, you will have enough random and unexpected expenses in the next 18 (19 in Nebraska) years that saving some now isn't a bad idea.

Sure, you want to buy some things special from you and your husband, understandable, so get those things yourself

With our fourth on the way, I have learned that clothes aren't worth what you pay for them, blankets get destroyed easily, kids mess their beds enough to have a few spare crib sheets, etc---you could use a lot of those hand me downs for good

Becky&Barrett · June 2011

Children are expensive...and they only get more expensive (at least for me). I wish people would donate to me...lol.

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