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October 2011 Moms
Clicky Poll-DH going out without you
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Clicky Poll-DH going out without you
DH and I don't party and we dont drink either.
HOWEVER- if we did, I wouldn't really like him to do it without me, and I would prob just tag along and be the DD or something. But I have trust issues (I'll be honest, my H is hott and it's not a rare thing for women to come on to him) so that's probably why.
In terms of me being pregnant and unable to drink, I don't really care. I could go with him, and sometimes I do. But mostly I don't have the energy (or desire) to these days.
In terms of trusting him, that's a non-issue for us and always has been. We were LDR for the first year of dating so we've always had a great relationship when it comes to trusting each other.
"Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all." -- Dale Carnegie
"Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time." --Thomas A. Edison
This has been happening a lot. DH/I will be invited to a party/bar night with our friends or his co-workers. Personally, going to a loud, crowded bar on a Saturday night packed with drunk people has recently not been my idea of a fun time. I used to love it, but not really anymore. I can't get around easily, get tired around 10/11, and can't drink. So, I tell him to go without me. I'm not upset about it, he should enjoy it while he can before the baby comes.
I voted special snowflake.
In theory, I am fine with DH "grabbing a beer" after work as long as it's not most nights. He let/lets me have that freedom, and I don't want to be hypocritical.
But, in reality, it does upset me most of the time, even though I don't want it to. I just feel left out.
It probably doesn't help that when he does go out, I am not only left home, but left home to care for our DD.
We're way passed the partying stage too! We hardly ever go out. We've been together for 5 years and have been so looking forward to our first wedding together... that was last year BUT it was a momon wedding, so no booze. So we find out a few months ago that another friend of ours is getting married... THIS july. Of course. We're not big drinkers at all, the last time we both had a lot to drink was at our wedding, but the occasional time together is really fun! I've been so looking forward to this and now I'm so bummed that it's such sucky timing. DH is in the wedding party and I won't know anyone there that ISN'T in the wedding party so I'd be spending the majority of the day alone. So I was thinking of just not going. But then I find out he's planning on most likely getting drunk off his @ss and I'd be the one to come pick him up later...
I'm just annoyed... and maybe a little jealous that he's out having fun at a wedding we were supposed to be enjoying together while i'm at home watching our son. Maybe it's just hormones... I don't know.
This is exactly it! I'm feeling totally left out. And it's not like I'll just be home relaxing, I'll be watching DS.
I encourage my SO to go out with his friends, etc. He and I get to spend plenty of time together and I know we both miss going out with friends on the weekend, but oftentimes he'll feel bad about leaving me and want to stay home.
We socialize together 90% of the time, 10% of the time is "boys only" which I don't mind at all since I think all men need "man time."
I do feel left out when he goes out without me. But it's usually because I don't feel like going and I tell him to go anyway. I can't fault him for that.
But by no means do I think he needs to stay home just because I'M pregnant.
This. DH use to enjoy drinking (I never have) but has been diagnosed with fatty liver disease and has been forbidden to drink one drop of alcohol. He wasn't really into bars at all to begin with, only strip clubs which *I* have forbidden due to some other problems it tends to cause.
My H's definition of 'going out with the boys' consists of fishing on saturday mornings. So I guess that's prob why i'm a SS here too
I encourage him to go have his 'man' time and i'm glad drinking isn't involved.
As far as going out with friends, none of our friends drink either. So when we go out with friends, we go out to eat, or movies, or to the mountains to roast marshmellows, etc.
Burned by the Bear
I did SS- because DH and I used to go out ALL the time (atleast once a weekend), it's just what our group does... And now I have become Sober Cab... which doesn't bother me too much, since I still like to go out and socialize. It's usually at a beer garden or our favorite towny bar that has karaoke (which I enjoy).
Although, it does kind of stink that he will never have to make such a sacrafice... and to him it would be a HUGE deal since his job is delivering beer, softball revolves around beer etc...
ditto
i voted SS b/c since we have DS it's not like the good old days where we'd drink and party on the weekends. On weekends we have house work and things to do w/ DS so we can't afford to go out.
However w/ that said DH does go to Phillies games etc.. w/o me. There's no way i can sit outside in that heat for hours so i'm fine if he goes. Or sometimes he has guys nights out like i have my girl nights out. no biggie i think you need it once in a while.
Married since 06/19/2004|Anna born 11/19/2006|Charles born 11/1/11
Double undergrad graduation May 2011| Me: Psychology, DH: Communication| A long journey!
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I have no problem with boys nights out, they are generally during the week so no one's going nuts. Before we moved, I went to dinner at least once a week with my girls, and he would go out with the guys. I see no reason for that to change just because I'm pregnant, or even after the baby comes (he's more willing to go into Manhattan than I am). On the weekends we are generally always together and I've become DD. But, I completely trust him and would never worry, he will come home and tell me about the girls that hit on him, I think it's funny.
Should he be able to? Sure, although probably not all the time.
Would it bother me? Yes, even though I realize it shouldn't.
I said SS:
I don't mind at all if DH drink or have a good time with friends, but I want to be there too. I can have a good time with them without drinking!
I don't like for him to "go out and party" without me though, but I don't think he wants to do that anyway. He's not a "party" guy. He's more of a "sit and drink beer guy."
All of our friends are married so we have a lot of good times together.
SO is not a party guy and he has been going out a lot lately (since I got pregnant anyway) but he also got season tickets to soccer and goes with a guy friend that is single and going through a hard time realizing that his LAST un-wed/kid-free friend (my SO) is about to become a father. So for the most part I let it slide because I know he is going out as much as he can before the baby is born (which I would totally be doing if I wasn't pregnant and exhausted), and he is going out with his friend who is going through a rough patch.
I don't worry about him doing things that he shouldn't be doing, but it is just hard for me to always be the one at home.....and I am feeling pretty left out. I would go, but it is always late at night (and I am too tired to stay awake) and they are always hitting the bars (which is no fun for me since I cannot drink....I get bored). So I am the one at home and I have to hear about what a great time it was from everyone when I see them all on Thursday nights (the whole group has a recreational soccer team together).
I told SO that he can go out as much as he wants, but once the baby is here.....I get 9 months of freedom and he will have to be home with the baby hearing about what a great time the group had while he was sitting at home. HAHA
LOL - that's great.
We are also way past the "partying" stage, but I still socialize with him. We go to family parties and BBQs with friends but it's not a night club so I think it's totally different. I would feel weird if my SO wanted to go to a night club every weekend and the only other option was to sit home and "suffer" with me. There are other options out there! But we are old - both 35 so, that makes a big difference I think.
Are there women who really lock themselves in the house and don't go out while pregnant? You do realize you're not infectious, right? You're just growing a child. You can still go out with friends and just not drink.
I don't comprehend this idea of being upset that your husband is going out, enjoying himself, and you somehow are stuck at home sulking in your frosty glass of ice water or milk. Get your butt in gear and go have some fun. Now, if you're on bed rest or something that's totally different. But surely your DH still deserves to unwind, right?
haha this is a fantastic plan!
i don't lock my self away for 9 months or anything, my issue at the moment is that we have a wedding to go to. i'm not a fan of hanging out with a bunch of drunk people when i'm not able to drink... especially if one of those drunk people is my husband! he's in the wedding party and i won't know anyone else there so i was thinking about just staying home, since i'd be spending a large part of the day alone, but then i feel like that's unfair that he's out having a good time while i'm at home watching our son!