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South Florida Babies
I hope you find these guidelines helpful in your interactions with pregnant women as failing to follow them may result in serious physical harm.
If you are thinking, surely she doesn't mean me- then you should probably read this twice.
1) The appropriate response to a couple telling you they are having a baby is "Congratulations!" with enthusiasm. Any other response makes you an a$$.
2) Unless you made the baby, the pregnancy, birth and raising of the child are not about you.You do not have input. No one wants to hear your opinion unless they ask for it. The same goes for the name of the baby.
3) The body of a pregnant women should be treated the same as any other body. You would not randomly touch someone's stomach if they were not pregnant, nor would you inquire into the condition of their uterus,cervix or how they plan to use their breasts. Pregnancy does not remove all traces of privacy from a woman.
4) Likewise, no women wants to hear comments on her weight- ever.A pregnant woman does not find it flattering that you think she is about is pop, must be having twins, looks swollen or has gained weight in her face.Telling her she looks too small only makes her worry that she is somehow starving her baby. Making such comments invite her to critique your physical appearance and you may not act offended.The only acceptable comment on appearance is "You look fabulous!".
5
) There is a reason that tickets to L&D are not yet sold on Ticketmaster. Childbirth is actually not a public event. It may soundcrazy, but some women really do not relish the idea of their mother, MIL or a host of other family members seeing their bare butt and genitals. Also, some people simply feel like the birth of their child is a private and emotional moment to be shared only by the parents. Like everything else in life, unless you receive an invitation, you are NOT invited.This includes doctor appointments, ultrasounds, labor, delivery, the hospital and the parents home. You do not decide if you will be there for the birth or if you will move in with the new parents to "help out".If your assistance is desired, rest assured that you will be asked for it.
6) If you are asked to help after the birth, this means you should cleanup the house, help with cooking meals, and generally stay out of the way. Holding the baby more than the parents, interfering with breastfeeding and sleeping schedules and making a woman who is still leaking fluid from multiple locations lift a finger in housework is not helping.
7) The only people entitled to time with the baby are the parents. Whether they choose to have you at the hospital for the birth or ask for you to wait three weeks to visit, appreciate that you are are being given the privilege of seeing their child. Complaining or showing disappointment only encourages the parents to include you less.I hope this helps- it sure makes us feel better.
Signed,
All Pregnant Women
A funny for the pregnant ladies :)
An open letter....
Dear Non-Pregnant Person,I hope you find these guidelines helpful in your interactions with pregnant women as failing to follow them may result in serious physical harm.
If you are thinking, surely she doesn't mean me- then you should probably read this twice.
1) The appropriate response to a couple telling you they are having a baby is "Congratulations!" with enthusiasm. Any other response makes you an a$$.
2) Unless you made the baby, the pregnancy, birth and raising of the child are not about you.You do not have input. No one wants to hear your opinion unless they ask for it. The same goes for the name of the baby.
3) The body of a pregnant women should be treated the same as any other body. You would not randomly touch someone's stomach if they were not pregnant, nor would you inquire into the condition of their uterus,cervix or how they plan to use their breasts. Pregnancy does not remove all traces of privacy from a woman.
4) Likewise, no women wants to hear comments on her weight- ever.A pregnant woman does not find it flattering that you think she is about is pop, must be having twins, looks swollen or has gained weight in her face.Telling her she looks too small only makes her worry that she is somehow starving her baby. Making such comments invite her to critique your physical appearance and you may not act offended.The only acceptable comment on appearance is "You look fabulous!".
5
) There is a reason that tickets to L&D are not yet sold on Ticketmaster. Childbirth is actually not a public event. It may soundcrazy, but some women really do not relish the idea of their mother, MIL or a host of other family members seeing their bare butt and genitals. Also, some people simply feel like the birth of their child is a private and emotional moment to be shared only by the parents. Like everything else in life, unless you receive an invitation, you are NOT invited.This includes doctor appointments, ultrasounds, labor, delivery, the hospital and the parents home. You do not decide if you will be there for the birth or if you will move in with the new parents to "help out".If your assistance is desired, rest assured that you will be asked for it.
6) If you are asked to help after the birth, this means you should cleanup the house, help with cooking meals, and generally stay out of the way. Holding the baby more than the parents, interfering with breastfeeding and sleeping schedules and making a woman who is still leaking fluid from multiple locations lift a finger in housework is not helping.
7) The only people entitled to time with the baby are the parents. Whether they choose to have you at the hospital for the birth or ask for you to wait three weeks to visit, appreciate that you are are being given the privilege of seeing their child. Complaining or showing disappointment only encourages the parents to include you less.I hope this helps- it sure makes us feel better.
Signed,
All Pregnant Women
This discussion has been closed.
Re: A funny for the pregnant ladies :)
I need some of these translated to Spanish for my inlaws... Is it wrong of me to already know they are going to drive me insane when my child finally arrives???
Thanks for sharing!
Mari
Ahh i love it!!! i am sending it out to everyone I know. I wish I had seen thins at the start of my pregnancy.
Mari: I'm totally with you there. I am already bracing myself for when the day comes...I don't want to be a bi!ch and cuss them out in frustration!!!
-j