Well, we made a decision
This hurts my heart, but the timing is just so bad. I just quit my job to start my own business, giving up a steady salary for the unknown. And there's no backing out now and just finding another job - I've already signed a lease for office space, paid money for malpractice insurance, spent money on a website and letterhead, bought office equipment, etc. Having another child right now wouldn't just be a matter of cramping our lifestyle or finances being tight. If my business has slow months, it would mean not having money for the child's health insurance and/or daycare. While we'd love to have another child now, our plan was for me to really focus this next year on marketing and growing my business before we thought about adopting again. It breaks my heart and DH's, too, but this just isn't the right time.
That said, I called our fantastic adoption consultant, and asked if she would be able to find an adoptive family who lives near us who would be open to the baby having a relationship with Logan. She said that she would have no trouble finding a situation like this. I emailed the birth mom and asked if she would consider only Atlanta area families so Logan could still grow up with the new baby.
I really, really hope she will be interested in this.
Re: Well, we made a decision
I can't imagine how tough a choice that was. I'm sorry.
(And am also sort of wishing that I still lived in Atlanta! Ha.)
I am so incredibly sad over this and I think this is probably the toughest decision we've ever had to make.
What I'm trying to focus on is that it means that a waiting family who actually is ready to parent right now will be getting a baby. And I really hope it's a family near us. DH pointed out that neither of us have siblings who will ever have kids, so a situation like this would give Logan something similar to having a cousin - which would be awesome for him.
Would you like me to give her the link to your website if she is interested in what I proposed? She's due in late October, does not know the sex, and the baby is biracial CC/AA. She doesn't get prenatal care (hasn't for any of her kids, and they are all healthy), but does take prenatal vitamins. You would need to travel to Las Vegas. It would be a private adoption, so very affordable. If you are interested and open to Logan seeing the baby pretty often, I'm happy to forward your profile along.
That had to be such a tough call. Here is hoping that Logan's sister or brother finds a loving family who are happy to help them have a relationship as they grow.
Sorry that you had to make this decision but you know what is best for your family. I hope that a family can be found that lives close by and will encourage a relationship between Logan and his sibling.
But I'm sure you know what's best for your family - and what will be best for this child.
I hope the right family comes along to keep you all connected.
What a tough decision... hugs to you. Doing what is right for your family is right for all involved. Hugs....
Sending you hugs. I'm still trying to get over turning down a situation a few weeks ago even through I know it was the right thing for us. I know this is so hard but it sounds like you made the right decision that's best for you guys.
An idea I had was to pray/visualize/intend for Logan to make a connection to a life long friend. We live far away from my brother who has kids and we're only planning to adopt one. I have a couple of life long friends in my life that to me are like siblings. One I know since I was 3. She lives in another state now but we are still close. The other I met in high school and we're truly like sisters. (we're talking over 20 years ago!). We see each other almost every day all these years. Many blood sisters don't stay that connected.
Sounds like your business is an exciting dream of yours. Enjoy and be proud of yourself for following your dream. It's a great example for your child. (((hugs)))
I realize I'm late to the party, but I wanted to offer you my empathy.
We, too, received a sibling call. For us, it was the perfect situation--our paperwork was in Korea and the baby was placed with the right Korean agency.
Now that our family is complete, the anxiety is still there. I dread getting another phone call--especially now that DS#2 is the same age DS#1 was the first time around. DS#2 is almost out of daycare, so our finances will FINALLY be able to recover. We're done with diapers. I never wanted more than 2 kids--and #2 is a HANDFUL!
I've thought about the decision you had to make, and I hope that I never have to make it (for the birthmom's sake first, my own second). I hope that you can find peace with the decision you've made.