I was lectured last night about the benefits of rooming in after delivery

itsmevkb · June 2011

Unfortunately, my doctor no longer has privileges at the hospital where I had my other children, so last night my DH and I toured the hospital where I'll deliver this baby. At some point during the tour the guide says that they no longer have a nursery and that all babies room in with moms and that it works out wonderfully and yadda, yadda, yadda. During the question and answer part I asked if they really don't have a nursery or is it possible to have the baby put in the nursery for a few hours at night in order to get better sleep. Oh my gosh, you would have thought I had asked about abandoning my baby. She launched into this huge speech about how rooming in is always better and how it helps you to bond to the baby and it's better for mom to respond to baby than a stranger and finally ended with how it causes less anxiety in new moms.

I kindly pointed out that I'm not a new mom, I've been there, done that and in my past experience I enjoyed being able to actually sleep for a few hours after labor and delivery and that I've managed to bond just fine with my children thank you very much, including my son who was in the NICU and couldn't room in with me.

It's not that I don't want to have the baby with me but I really don't think having the baby be away from me for say five hours is going to cause permanent psychological damage to either of us.

Mouseygail · June 2011

itsmevkb:
Unfortunately, my doctor no longer has privileges at the hospital where I had my other children, so last night my DH and I toured the hospital where I'll deliver this baby. At some point during the tour the guide says that they no longer have a nursery and that all babies room in with moms and that it works out wonderfully and yadda, yadda, yadda. During the question and answer part I asked if they really don't have a nursery or is it possible to have the baby put in the nursery for a few hours at night in order to get better sleep. Oh my gosh, you would have thought I had asked about abandoning my baby. She launched into this huge speech about how rooming in is always better and how it helps you to bond to the baby and it's better for mom to respond to baby than a stranger and finally ended with how it causes less anxiety in new moms.

I kindly pointed out that I'm not a new mom, I've been there, done that and in my past experience I enjoyed being able to actually sleep for a few hours after labor and delivery and that I've managed to bond just fine with my children thank you very much, including my son who was in the NICU and couldn't room in with me.

It's not that I don't want to have the baby with me but I really don't think having the baby be away from me for say five hours is going to cause permanent psychological damage to either of us.

augh! so frustrating! our hospital had these snarky, guilt inducing signs written from the baby's POV that they taped to the basinett when they brought the baby in...I agree...getting those few hours of uninterrupted sleep was heavenly!

LisaMarisa · June 2011

There is definitely a difference between getting a few hours of sleep and keeping the baby in the nursery the whole time.

With DS, we kept him the whole time but with DD I was just so tired after delivering her that I really needed her out of the room for a few hours so I could get some sleep. They brought her back to eat (actually she was still asleep but they said that they wanted me to wake her to feed her) but it was nice to sleep for a little while without waking for every little noise the baby made, and newborns are noisy!

There is no difference in the amount of bonding that was done between the 2 kids.

krissybegs · June 2011

I don't know what I would have done if this was the policey at my hospital. After my c-section I was so sick that I needed that time without the baby to get back on my feet.

My mom is a nurse in the NICU and sometimes works in the regular nursery and says you can always tell who are first time parents because they want the baby with them all the time. The parents who already have children at home send them to the nursery because they know what's coming when they get home. Smile

cjsbdl · June 2011

I sent both my babies to the nursery both nights we were in the hospital. So far they seem to like me. lol

There's nothing worse than the mommy guilt being perpetuated by medical professionals.

Unfortunately this having no nursery business is the new trend, with hospitals putting more money into "birthing suites" rather than building and staffing full-time nurseries. I think it sucks that moms in those hospitals don't hve the opportunity to rest up after L&D if they want to.

SeaSoul · June 2011

Funny - our hospital doesn't have a nursery either but it was actually the nurses who suggested they keep Cal for a few hours one night (we were there 1 week; I think this was on day 4) when I was having an absolute meltdown due to hormones, lack of sleep, and breastfeeding struggles. I very, very reluctantly said yes but it was a good thing I did because I certainly wasn't doing Cal any good in that state!

ETA: they just keep the babies in the nurses' station.

NiniJ55 · June 2011

DS stayed in my room when he was born... and I have the same plan for next time.

I will say that it sucks that they don't have a nursery - it would be better to have that option becuase the nursery just works out better for some people. Just becuase you choose to put your baby in the nursery, I don't think that makes the person a bad mother already... LOL. I'm glad you defended yourself. They are looking for excuses for their budget cuts.

JillRock96 · June 2011

Oh, that makes me angry that you don't even have a choice. After I had the twins, (c-section), my iron was super low and I was not doing very well, to be honest. DH had to be at home at night with Ava, so it was just me alone with the twins. I sent them to the nursery every.single.night we were there. And when we got home, I was so grateful to have had four nights of decent-ish sleep. And I bonded just fine with my babies, thankyouverymuch.

futrkingsley · June 2011

The hospital where I delivered didn't have one either and it didn't stop people from sending their babies to the "nursery" for the night. DS had to spend a night under the bili lights on night 4 of our stay. What used to be an actual nursery was now used to store equipment and baby warmers. The hall was a parking station for 6 rolling bassinets that night, all with formula bottles. DS was in a room alone under the lights and I trudged back and forth every 45 minutes to nurse. Even if I hadn't had to go that often, I certainly wouldn't have been able to sleep.

If we ever had a second kid, I would probably need a nursery just to deal. Recovery from the cesarean was rough and DH was there about 80% of the time, nights included. But with a kid at home, he'd need to go back and forth.

itsmevkb · June 2011

JillRock96:
Oh, that makes me angry that you don't even have a choice. After I had the twins, (c-section), my iron was super low and I was not doing very well, to be honest. DH had to be at home at night with Ava, so it was just me alone with the twins. I sent them to the nursery every.single.night we were there. And when we got home, I was so grateful to have had four nights of decent-ish sleep. And I bonded just fine with my babies, thankyouverymuch.

This is it exactly. My husband will probably be with me but we have two kids at home who he may have to be home with depending on how things go so he probably won't be there the entire time.

I haven't had a c-section and hope to not have one this time around either, but I am curious for the women that do, why is that not treated like every other surgery where you'd be encouraged to relax and take care of yourself without worrying about others? Would they ever wheel a newborn baby into a room of someone who just had some other kind of surgery and say "okay, take care of this baby"? Of course they wouldn't and yet I got the distinct impression that the tour lady was judging me for even thinking about not wanting to be with my baby 24/7.

Germanwife2b · June 2011

Ok- I am going to speak as a nursery nurse in a hospital who does not "have a nursery". I am usually THE nursery nurse. We physically have a nursery still, but we do not routinely keep babies in that room. I go to labor and delivery rooms to admit the babies so I can't actually keep any babies in the nursery unless I get another nurse to stay in there to watch the baby (or a tech). We do have babies in the nursery on occasion though (getting phototherapy, mom has social/drug issues and had to leave the baby in the hospital until cleared by CPS, etc). But it is not routine.

There are tons and tons of studies out there that babies do actually sleep better near the mom (when they can smell her, etc), breastfeeding goes better when the mom responds to the first smacks of the lips as opposed to us bringing her a screaming baby, etc. BUT, that being said, if a mom has issues and is too sick to watch her baby (c-section gone wrong, no support person with a fresh c-section who is too sleepy to watch the baby, mom on Magnesium sulfate, mom with a postpartum hemmorhage, etc) we certainly will do whatever we can to watch the baby in the nursery or at the nurses station.

But I am telling you, when I started 12 years ago, most babies stayed in the nursery overnight and it was pure chaos. They screamed and screamed all night because we couldn't feed them, hold them, change them at the same time. Breastfed babies would be screaming by the time they got to the mom and were either too worked up to breastfeed effectively or too tired from screaming to breastfeed effectively. It was a mess. Nights at the hospital are just so much calmer now. Babies are attended to much faster by their moms than one or two nurses could do and everyone is actually happier. And most nights, babies have procedures done in the nursery for a little while and most moms take that opportunity to take a nap. If a mom is really, really tired, a nice nurse will take her time with that baby and keep the baby a little longer. We rarely have a complaint about this arrangement when it is actually in place.

So, I know the how tired a new mom is (I had a natural homebirth and there was no nursery to take the baby to), but I still think this is a much better arrangement then when babies were allowed in the nursery at night.

I hope my unpopular opinion helps explain things <yikes>.

itsmevkb · June 2011

Germanwife2b:
Ok- I am going to speak as a nursery nurse in a hospital who does not "have a nursery". I am usually THE nursery nurse. We physically have a nursery still, but we do not routinely keep babies in that room. I go to labor and delivery rooms to admit the babies so I can't actually keep any babies in the nursery unless I get another nurse to stay in there to watch the baby (or a tech). We do have babies in the nursery on occasion though (getting phototherapy, mom has social/drug issues and had to leave the baby in the hospital until cleared by CPS, etc). But it is not routine.

There are tons and tons of studies out there that babies do actually sleep better near the mom (when they can smell her, etc), breastfeeding goes better when the mom responds to the first smacks of the lips as opposed to us bringing her a screaming baby, etc. BUT, that being said, if a mom has issues and is too sick to watch her baby (c-section gone wrong, no support person with a fresh c-section who is too sleepy to watch the baby, mom on Magnesium sulfate, mom with a postpartum hemmorhage, etc) we certainly will do whatever we can to watch the baby in the nursery or at the nurses station.

But I am telling you, when I started 12 years ago, most babies stayed in the nursery overnight and it was pure chaos. They screamed and screamed all night because we couldn't feed them, hold them, change them at the same time. Breastfed babies would be screaming by the time they got to the mom and were either too worked up to breastfeed effectively or too tired from screaming to breastfeed effectively. It was a mess. Nights at the hospital are just so much calmer now. Babies are attended to much faster by their moms than one or two nurses could do and everyone is actually happier. And most nights, babies have procedures done in the nursery for a little while and most moms take that opportunity to take a nap. If a mom is really, really tired, a nice nurse will take her time with that baby and keep the baby a little longer. We rarely have a complaint about this arrangement when it is actually in place.

So, I know the how tired a new mom is (I had a natural homebirth and there was no nursery to take the baby to), but I still think this is a much better arrangement then when babies were allowed in the nursery at night.

I hope my unpopular opinion helps explain things <yikes>.

It's not that I don't get all of this, I just think that it should be an option. I'm not asking to have my baby kept there for my entire stay or even for an entire night, just for a few hours if I really feel it would help me.

I actually have been considering not staying at the hospital for the full typical stay just because I would get better rest at home where my husband would be home as well.

Germanwife2b · June 2011

itsmevkb:
Germanwife2b:

Ok- I am going to speak as a nursery nurse in a hospital who does not "have a nursery". I am usually THE nursery nurse. We physically have a nursery still, but we do not routinely keep babies in that room. I go to labor and delivery rooms to admit the babies so I can't actually keep any babies in the nursery unless I get another nurse to stay in there to watch the baby (or a tech). We do have babies in the nursery on occasion though (getting phototherapy, mom has social/drug issues and had to leave the baby in the hospital until cleared by CPS, etc). But it is not routine.

There are tons and tons of studies out there that babies do actually sleep better near the mom (when they can smell her, etc), breastfeeding goes better when the mom responds to the first smacks of the lips as opposed to us bringing her a screaming baby, etc. BUT, that being said, if a mom has issues and is too sick to watch her baby (c-section gone wrong, no support person with a fresh c-section who is too sleepy to watch the baby, mom on Magnesium sulfate, mom with a postpartum hemmorhage, etc) we certainly will do whatever we can to watch the baby in the nursery or at the nurses station.

But I am telling you, when I started 12 years ago, most babies stayed in the nursery overnight and it was pure chaos. They screamed and screamed all night because we couldn't feed them, hold them, change them at the same time. Breastfed babies would be screaming by the time they got to the mom and were either too worked up to breastfeed effectively or too tired from screaming to breastfeed effectively. It was a mess. Nights at the hospital are just so much calmer now. Babies are attended to much faster by their moms than one or two nurses could do and everyone is actually happier. And most nights, babies have procedures done in the nursery for a little while and most moms take that opportunity to take a nap. If a mom is really, really tired, a nice nurse will take her time with that baby and keep the baby a little longer. We rarely have a complaint about this arrangement when it is actually in place.

So, I know the how tired a new mom is (I had a natural homebirth and there was no nursery to take the baby to), but I still think this is a much better arrangement then when babies were allowed in the nursery at night.

I hope my unpopular opinion helps explain things <yikes>.

It's not that I don't get all of this, I just think that it should be an option. I'm not asking to have my baby kept there for my entire stay or even for an entire night, just for a few hours if I really feel it would help me.

I actually have been considering not staying at the hospital for the full typical stay just because I would get better rest at home where my husband would be home as well.

I totally hear you on this. I do. But when I first started, it was an option and everyone chose it (just about) and we had the chaos I described above. It wasn't that we kept them in the nursery as a protocol or anything...it was just lots of moms wanted their rest. So after the studies came out about better sleep (and actually they said that mothers slept better with babies IN the rooms) and better breastfeeding, the hospital decided that babies and moms were actually better off if they didn't really get the choice. There are always exceptions of course.

But I totally think you should leave the hospital and go home as soon as they will let you. You are probaly right- better sleep will greet you at home :-)

pandabearlover · June 2011

I am a little late to this thread, but I had a c-section with Betsy (my first) and when they wheeled me to the post-partum floor, I was told repeatedly that the baby was my responsibility and they did not have a nursery. And that the toilet was down the hall and not to leave my baby unattended-I had to wheel her down there with me when I had to go.

I didn't know any different and we survived. It just took me a few extra seconds to get off the bed to get her out of her bassinet. I was just so happy to finally be a mom that I guess it didn't bother me.

It did bother me when they brought in my roommate and hit Betsy's bassinet with her hospital bed! I was yelling and screaming and trying to get up before they knocked it over.

Germanwife2b · June 2011

pandabearlover:

I am a little late to this thread, but I had a c-section with Betsy (my first) and when they wheeled me to the post-partum floor, I was told repeatedly that the baby was my responsibility and they did not have a nursery. And that the toilet was down the hall and not to leave my baby unattended-I had to wheel her down there with me when I had to go.

I didn't know any different and we survived. It just took me a few extra seconds to get off the bed to get her out of her bassinet. I was just so happy to finally be a mom that I guess it didn't bother me.

It did bother me when they brought in my roommate and hit Betsy's bassinet with her hospital bed! I was yelling and screaming and trying to get up before they knocked it over.

A semi-private room and a bathroom down the hall? Oh no- that just sounds miserable. My patients have it pretty luxurious I guess. Wow!

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