feeling like a slacker

rainfallki · June 2011

Hi ladies!

So, it's been almost three weeks since little Gabe made his way into the world. And, boy, do I feel like a slacker... failure... bum. In my mind, I know that my "job" for the time being is to make sure that he eats, sleeps, poops. And he does all three, very well. I just feel like I should be accomplishing more at home. My healing took a while to start - the first two weeks postpartum, I could barely stand I was in so much pain. That part is better now. So now at least I get the kitchen sink cleaned out most days and I've managed to put in a couple loads of laundry this week. But I haven't cooked dinner in weeks now... getting a shower, eating lunch, remembering to drink water... all of these simple things and I can't seem to find time to do them. Where is my routine?

I think I'm probably being a little hard on myself, but I seriously feel like I should be able to get these simple things done. It just seems like when he falls asleep for a nap, I spend too much time relaxing and enjoying the quiet. Then by the time I think "oh, I should get something to eat", he's waking up and hungry again.

I thought the evenings would be different - DH would come home and hold Gabe, play with Gabe, etc... but all Gabe wants to do in the evenings is eat and I'm EBFing. Which means DH comes home from work and starts cooking dinner. No relaxing with his son for him, no break from baby for me.

And "play time" with Gabe... maybe I need to read more books, but I don't know what to do with him. What kind of Mom am I?! I talk to him and move his little limbs around and give him tummy time (which he hates, btw)... I guess there will be more to do when he can support his own head. I just feel like maybe I'm missing something.

Not really sure what the point of this post is, other than to get some of these feelings out.. thanks for reading.

elisbu · June 2011

Don't feel bad, K is 11 weeks old and I feel the exact same way!!! Right now she is sleeping and I should do something, but I am so tired that just sitting here is about all I can muster.

As for play time, you are doing the right thing, just talk and sing to him.

gwennylee · June 2011

Relax! I hardly ever post but this broke my heart. You are doing exactly what you are supposed to do at this time...rest and adapt to life with your little one. You are only three weeks out, your body (and mind) needs time to recover. I felt the same frustration and guilt when my little was about that age as well. Give yourself some credit here. Caring for a newborn is a FULL TIME job all on its own. As for playtime with your LO, your giving him just what he needs at this time. My little guy is 8 weeks and just now is starting to focus on objects, smile, and make eye contact. On the other side of the coin at 8 weeks I'm starting to feel more like a human again. I can actually get a shower and a blow dry in before noon so I'm kinda a big deal in my own head these days. Ha ha I kid. You are doing great and you will feel better! I hope you have a marvelous and restful day Mama!

Sorry for the one hand type

belladonna11307 · June 2011

I'm in the same boat! DD is almost 7 weeks old and wants to eat every 1.5 - 2 hours during the day, so between feedings it can be a challenge to find time for me to eat, much less do anything else (I bump while I eat!). A good day for me is a couple of loads of laundry (no more than 3 when I'm line drying), a load of dishes (we don't have a dishwasher), and a shower. DH usually has to make dinner when he gets home, or take DD so that I can do so. And that's a good day. On the average I'll get one thing done each day and other days she just need to be held all day, so I get a lot of reading a tv watching done. I feel like I should be more on the ball, but I'm just not. I'm terrified of going back to work in a month!

mzsparklepdx · June 2011

I think you're being way too hard on yourself. I felt the same way and right around 3 weeks was the hardest, so I think it's normal. Just do the best you can and know that you are doing the best you can and stuff gets done when it gets done. I will say, as a suggestion, that having family or friends come over and hold LO for an hour was about the only way I managed to get anything done so accept help if its been offered.

krispy127 · June 2011

oh I love your post cause I'm feeling the same way and I'm lucky if I get a shower lol. Plus my DH works a 24 hour shift so even when he gets home he sleeps so its all me, all the time and its hard. I'm glad to see I'm not the only one, cause I was thinking that I was a big slacker too, I was like how are these mom's doing it? My LO is 8 weeks and I'm still not back to a good schedule, oh well.

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