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February 2011 Moms
GracieMaeLovey
member
I want to move
GracieMaeLovey
member
I don't want this to come off the wrong way, so I'm going to start with my personal disclaimer: I love my family & DH's family- they're so good to us and we're super fortunate.
HOWEVER, I sometimes get the urge to move away. Far away. As in, a plane ride away. Now with a LO the idea of balancing time with all of them is overwhelming at times. I know these feelings stem from DSs christening this weekend and I have a thousand things on my plate, but this idea pops into my head from time to time. I feel like it'd be light years easier to have visits a few times a year, for an extended period of time versus the way it is now. I feel like the obligation to see them "x" times for "x" amount of time is too much. I know, I know, I'm lucky to have them closeby and the grass is always greener. Today I just want to vent and move. Anyone else feel like this about their loving family from time to time or am I just a cold hearted jerk? And those of you who have family far away, convince me that I'm wrong for feeling this way. Please.
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Re: I want to move
A Frog, A Monkey and a Ladybug
Coming from someone who lives a plane ride away from both my parents and DH's mom, along with siblings, cousins, aunts and uncles, I do have to tell you how lucky you are. The thing that I hate the most is that LO won't have a super close connection to his grandparents, only getting to see them maybe 3-4 times a year and then through the computer screen using Skype. It's really hard to in terms of trying to find good sitters. If DH and I want to go out for dinner one night, or out with friends, LO is most likely always with us. I can count on one hand the amount of date nights we've had since LO arrived. If we lived closer to my parents and DH's mom I'm sure that would be a bit more often.
BUT I can totally understand where you are coming from. I can only imagine trying to split the time evenly so neither set of grandparents feels left out, etc. Even when we do get to visit home, I feel pulled in both directions and that's when we are there for 1 week!
I heard a good take on the "grass is greener" just this week. (Ironically from The Real Housewives of Orange County haha maybe she got it from someone much more intelligent but i liked it) Anyway it goes like this, "If you think the grass is greener on the other side, then get out your watering can and give your lawn a drink." I guess in translation it just means to maybe chat about how you are feeling with your family and see if it makes you feel any better about the situation.
Ya know, you're absolutely right. I guess I needed to see it written even though I know I'm fortunate. I didn't have much of a relationship with my grandparents (mom's entire family, for that matter) b/c they lived on the other side of the country growing up. Also, I've yet to meet one of my nephews b/c they're in CO and I'm in NJ and he was born a few months prior to LO and it was too much to travel- it makes me sad. Gah- now I feel like a schlep.
Thanks for the perspective!
I can relate to you. I'm just such an independent person that it's best for me to not live too close to our family. We didn't intentionally move 5 hrs away (we had no choice... DH's job), but I think the distance is good for us. I get sick of/annoyed by people coming over all the time. My siblings live close to my parents and my parents are up in my sister's business all the time. I think they think they have just as much say in my nephew's life as my sister and BIL do. That wouldn't fly well with me! I do miss my parents and I enjoy when we get to visit some wknds, but I do really enjoy the distance.
back at ya.