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January 2012 Moms
dreaming of being a SAHM...
Can I just share a little frustration? Thanks...
I have a (almost) 3 year old daughter and I am 12wks 2days preg w/baby #2. I work a full time job in Human Resources that I HATE...It's just too stressful at this point and I'm too emotional...My husband makes a decent amount of money and we do fine right now. My job mostly just pays for our health insurance (that pays for the awesome dr that I love), my car payment and gives us spare cash, but it's the difference between having to sacrifice and having what we need. I breastfed DD for about 3 months before I had to go back to work. Once I started working again I found it too hard to keep up my milk supply, and I eventually just stopped. Once I stopped BF she started getting sick more often. I could really tell the difference it made. With this baby I want to be a dedicated BF mommy, but there is no way I can do that with my job. It is a solid 8hr workday w/o room for negotiation. Why can't there be some magical way for me to quit my job and be a SAHM and still pay the bills? I don't feel like it should be a question as to whether I should keep working or whether I want my baby to be healthy, but it isn't that easy. Anyone else having these kind of difficult decisions? Advice?
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Re: dreaming of being a SAHM...
I know how you feel! This is my first baby and growing up in Europe it is only natural for me to be with the baby for at least a year. With my job, I can get up to 12 weeks mat leave, but only 5 are paid at 60% the rest is unpaid. My DH got a new job and he gets paid more but it isn't nearly enough to cover all the expenses and I have to keep a FT job. But I hate my place, too and yet can't leave. I also struggle with the BF situation. They do let you pump here at work which is cool but it's still the contact and bonding that the baby won't have.
I always thought I would want to work when I have a baby, but now, knowing this little one is on the way and the reality is kicking in I'm having a really hard time with it.... I don't have an advise but just wanted to let you know that you are not alone in this one. It's just so difficult
I hope something turns out on your end where you are able to stay home when your little pumpkin arrives 
When DH and I were dating...about 2 years in his dad hired me to do sales for their family business. When we were about 2 months from the wedding I had worked there for almost 2 years and told DH that I was either going to find a new job or stay at home. The stress of working their under my husband and FIL with sales being the way they are nearly put me into depression. I dreaded having to get up and do it everyday. I put together a budget and did my homework on income vs. what I was spending just to work. We determined we lost a little bit but became much more savvy about budgeting with me being at home. Its worked out wonderfully. I did get certified to teach Zumba in the meantime and during the school year with teaching I make around $600 a month which isn't too shabby to only work around 10 hours a week. When LO comes I will be able to take him to the gym to child care while I teach as well.
I suggest putting a pencil to the paper and maybe see if there are some other options that don't keep you tied up for 40 hours a week. Good luck!
if you want to be a sahm and can make it work, that's wonderful. good luck!
But I do want to just throw out there that bf'ing isn't a magical cure-all. It helps, sure, but it wasn't that you stopped bf it's probably more that your LO started going out more and being exposed to more.
I BF'ed my son for nearly 2 years. I stayed home with him for 7.5 months and he never had a cold or anything. then when we put him in daycare when I went back to work f/t it was cold after flu after ear infection and repeat!! and we were still BF'ing. I think it's going to happen no matter what. It's just a matter of time. Some kids never get sick, but most do. I really don't think it's got all that much to do with EBF'ing or not. And this is from a "dedicated BF'ing mom". don't be too hard on yourself!!
DH and I decided long before we got pregnant that I would be a SAHM, things will be hard, I'm sure, but I'm not really worried about it. It took us 11 years to finally get pregnant and I'll make it work.
The only thing that really bugs me about it is as soon as people find out you plan on staying home with the baby, some people are a-holes with their opinions on why you shouldn't and blah blah blah. Some women are very judgemental about it...I completely admire women that have children and can still work a full time job, be a great mom and wife and hold it all together... it's just not for me.. ya know... Not all women are this way, but I get tired of having to defend my choices to the one's that are. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, so I just let it go. My life..My dream.
Make a pregnancy ticker
I could have written this exact same post when I had DD. Especially the bolded part. I'm still stuck in my HR job and not happy at all. Luckily I was able to maximize my time off so I got to stay home with her for 5 months and BF exclusively. Once I went back to work I would go to my moms on my lunch and feed DD I would also pump at work for her and I was able to make it to 8 months. That is when she weaned herself. My work would not be flexible with my schedule at all when I came back. I'm still hoping for a part time job at some point. Anyways I have no advice but just wanted to let you know that you are not alone. You will get through it. It does suck though.
This is true too. DD and I have been trading colds and flus since the beginning of March. We finally have had the last two weeks off. I hope it stays that way but the flu is going around DH's' family again.