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April 2011 Moms
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In-laws babysitting...need advice (from 0-3board)

PharmacyQueenPharmacyQueen member
in April 2011 Moms
SO my in-laws want to babysit DD tomorrow while I work.  I would not have a problem with this except I do not trust them to follow our rules and to keep DD safe.  They have never watched her before tomorrow, so they are not familar with her daily routine or habits. Before DD was born they said they did not want to babysit her, now all the sudden they want to.  My concern is this when we have been around them with her they are not that careful.  They let their mentally handicapped son stick a pen near her face repeatedly and never said anything I had to step in.  They also leave her on her stomach and walk away!  I am afraid something will happen while they are watching her.  I work from home so I thought it would be a great idea to have them watch her at our house the first time so that I am there, however DH thinks I am being ridiculous and does not want to tell them they have to watch her here.  He does not want to step on their toes and make them feel like we are telling them what to do when they watch her.  My thoughts are that this is our daughter and we make the rules we are the parents not them, they raised their two boys the way they wanted now we lay down the rules DH for anyone to watch her.  I did it with my family.  What are your thoughts, should I go over the rules and let his parents watch her 30min away or do I stand my ground and make them come her to watch her?
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Re: In-laws babysitting...need advice (from 0-3board)

  • Scout05Scout05 member
    Honestly, if I had even a second's doubt that someone would keep my child safe, I would not allow them to babysit. At my house or anywhere else.
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  • SandiaPinaMamaSandiaPinaMama member
    Google 7 laws for grandparenting. My ILs found it on their own, and it has helped some. I just wanted you to know that you aren't alone. My MIL was holding lo on her hip and bent way over to look for something in a bag on the floor. Yeah, he doesn't have head control for that. I just kept telling DH that I wasn't ready for them to watch him. He finally got mad enough about the whole thing to go tell them to cut the sh*t, and now things are getting better.

    BFP#1 "Watermelon" born 3/2011
    BFP#2 "Pumpkin" 7/14/12 ~ EDD 3/23/13 ~ Natural M/C 8/3/12 @ 7 weeks
    BFP#3 "Pineapple"  born 4/2013
    BFP#4 "Grapefruit" EDD 3/29/16
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  • Carbaby411Carbaby411

    You could tell them that you want them to watch her at you house for a few days, just to make the transition easier FOR HER.  Then it is about the baby's happiness and not about her safety.  It would probably offend them less and you would be able to see how they really would care for her.

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  • KmhsswimKmhsswim member

    imageScout05:
    Honestly, if I had even a second's doubt that someone would keep my child safe, I would not allow them to babysit. At my house or anywhere else.

    I have to agree with this. 

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  • MaggieB0406MaggieB0406
    My mil just watched DD for the first time. I wasn't scared for her safety but I was afraid they couldn't console her and they don't know her bc they live in a different state. So they knew nothing about how we calm her or her routines or preferences. It turned out ok though. She was not allowed to take her anywhere and she watched her at our house bc it made sense bc that's her home and everything to take care of her is there. With that said though, keep your LO safe!
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  • handsonthewheelhandsonthewheel member

    I would just say no, period.

    My in-laws will never be left with DD because I am not  comfortable with my MIL and don't trust her not to do something completely out of line (she has said LO needs cow's milk at 6 months and tried to convince me to leave DD to cry in her stroller rather than picking her up, etc). I think there is just too great a generational divide there when it comes to childrearing advice. 

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  • lauren0515lauren0515 member
    My MIL wants to keep DS but I refuse.  She was here the other day visiting and could not console him.  She let him scream bloody murder and refused to give him to me saying that it wouldn't hurt him to cry and he would eventually stop.  It made me mad and I had to force her to give me DS.  She will not be keeping DS at all until he is older and we'll see then.
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  • JackiemknJackiemkn
    If you don't trust them, then don't do it.  Stand your ground.  It seems difficult at first, but it's your family and it's your decision.  I have had to tell my SIL she'll never watch our baby.  It wasn't easy, in fact it was really uncomfortable, but after I said it, I felt much better.  If you make an excuse you will just have to continue making excuses.....which is why I finally spoke up and told SIL NO NEVER!
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  • PharmacyQueenPharmacyQueen member

    imagewatermelon mom:
    Google 7 laws for grandparenting. My ILs found it on their own, and it has helped some. I just wanted you to know that you aren't alone. My MIL was holding lo on her hip and bent way over to look for something in a bag on the floor. Yeah, he doesn't have head control for that. I just kept telling DH that I wasn't ready for them to watch him. He finally got mad enough about the whole thing to go tell them to cut the sh*t, and now things are getting better.

     That is a great website the 7 laws, thank you so much!!

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