TTM about TTC after a preemie...

sucrets4 · June 2011

Apparently I'm an emotional basket case tonight.

What were your feelings/thoughts about trying for another LO after having your preemie? We know we want another kid and we'd rather it be sooner than later since we're both in our 30s.

How did you feel about it? What things did you consider? What other emotions did you go through when deciding?

My OB said not to worry too much and that I'd qualify for the 17P shots which puts my mind at ease a little bit, I suppose. I'm just wondering how people felt who have been through it.

beyoga · June 2011

Well, we only wanted one. Reid was a 24 weeks preemie and we didn't want to put another kid through. To celebrate Reid making it until his due date in January we made a pitchers of margaritas. Now we're having a second. Reid was born Oct. 2nd last year, Violet is due Oct. 11th.

I too have been on p17 shots. I went a few weeks back for a regular u/s & doc appt. when the saw I had dilated 1 cm. I had a cerclage and I am now 24 weeks as of yesterday and I had my first steroid shot for her lungs today as well. I am also off bed rest.

You just never know how it's going to go. All you can do is hope for the best. I am 37 (going to be 38 in Sept.) DH had a vasectomy in May so this will be our last baby. Good luck with your decision.

AggieBeth06 · June 2011

I'm not ttc, but I was really traumatized by the surprise early delivery under general anesthesia. I'm still not ready to even consider it in general terms. DS is very needy of my attention, and while I willingly give as much as I can, I'm exhausted - mentally, physically and emotionally.

I think on these situations, you have to trust your heart. Mine says not any time soon, but hopefully we will be ready again some day.

sucrets4 · June 2011

beyoga:
Well, we only wanted one. Reid was a 24 weeks preemie and we didn't want to put another kid through. To celebrate Reid making it until his due date in January we made a pitchers of margaritas. Now we're having a second. Reid was born Oct. 2nd last year, Violet is due Oct. 11th.
I too have been on p17 shots. I went a few weeks back for a regular u/s & doc appt. when the saw I had dilated 1 cm. I had a cerclage and I am now 24 weeks as of yesterday and I had my first steroid shot for her lungs today as well. I am also off bed rest.
You just never know how it's going to go. All you can do is hope for the best. I am 37 (going to be 38 in Sept.) DH had a vasectomy in May so this will be our last baby. Good luck with your decision.

Thank you so much for sharing your story! Congrats on 24w and I hope that she stays cooking for a lot longer.

We definitely want another, maybe 2 more (we're waiting to move into our house before we start trying) but I don't want to be a worrywart during the pregnancy. I had such a great pregnancy with DD, aside from PTL, lol. I know that it's out of my control, but I'm so shaken up now. Thanks again!

damabo80 · June 2011

The day I wean, I plan on having an appt with the RE to talk about cycling again. In the meantime, I'll work on getting my cardiovascular system in better shape to minimize the risk of pre-e happening again.

In a weird way, I'm not afraid about another NICU stay...I'm kind of zen with it at this point...yeah, it will suck major donkey balls, but as long as we have another child(ren), it's all worth it.

It's similar to my previous losses...I wasn't going to let the fear of another loss stop us from growing our family. Well, I'm not going to let the fear of another NICU stay stop us from growing our family.

Our plan is to keep cycling with the RE until the insurance runs out. We'll let Aetna decide the size of our family Wink

JakesBride07 · June 2011

What were your feelings/thoughts about trying for another LO after having your preemie? At first we were scared sh!tless at the thought of another NICU stay/pregnancy...one night DH even broke down and said "I can never go through this again." We did IVF to get pregnant with the twins, and I can say I know we won't be pursuing that again atleast not for another year or two if at all...

How did you feel about it? Worried, scared. We don't know what caused my pPROM and according to the OB, because it happened once the it's more likely to happen again, but more like only 1% more likely, and even less if we only get pregnant with one baby this time.

What things did you consider? For us one of the big things to consider was what is the likely hood this would happen again... And it's a little more difficult for us because if we go the IVF route again we know there is a risk for twins again.

What other emotions did you go through when deciding? I don't really know how to describe it, but the emotions are all over the map still. Right now we are in the "if it happens naturally, it happens" camp, but now that we've got one twin home my desire to have one more is even stronger some days.

After re-reading this, I don't know that I was much help on the matter, sorry.

elisbu · June 2011

We had a scare a few weeks ago and DH was terrified. As for me, I know the doctor said our chances of IUGR again our very slim, but with one previous loss and a preemie she said our chances of another loss or IUGR are higher than the average bear.

Because she predicts more losses in our future I am going to meet with her when DD is 6 months and talk to her about starting TTC then. I also hope to lose about 30 lbs by then also.

DH and I have talked and we know that all future pregnacies are going to be scarey. The first tri will be filled with betas and progesterone and the third tri will be filled with growth scans and NST.

But still, i kind of feel like Damabo: I've been there, it wouldn't be AS scarey, and I know now that I can handle it.

jcsntms06 · June 2011

We were both scared to try again for another LO, but I had my yearly appointment in February with my new doctor. We talked about my chances of having pre-e again for #2. I have about a 33% of having pre-e again. Obviously that's not what I want to hear, but we really want to have another baby. Doctor basically said that she watch me very closely, and if my bp shot up and she would put me on bedrest no questions asked. Obviously I don't really want that with a 2 year old, but I really don't want to have another baby in the NICU either.

We are going to start trying in August for baby#2.

alaratta1 · June 2011

I am 10wks pregnant after having a 31 week preemie. We are scared but really want more children. I don't know how people do it with a small child at home and one in the NICU. My DD is 13 months old now and we are ready. We consulted an OB before trying, to get her opinion on a course of action for the next pregnancy and to see if there was a reason for the preterm labor. We were told that sometimes your body goes into labor early and there is no definate cause. We are going to keep a close eye on my cervix with monthly ultrasounds after 24 weeks.

UZ2Bee · June 2011

I am 27 weeks pregnant after my LO#2 was born at 32 weeks. I had a 19 month old at home at that point. My DS was in the NICU for 6 weeks, and I had pprom and was in the hospital for 2 1/2 weeks before he was born.

I have to be honest - it took a lot of convincing for me to agree to have another one. I also had said that if my DS was not "caught up" to full term babies and developmental stages by the age of 2 that I would not have another. (DS didn't even roll over at his first birthday)

I'm nervous about another NICU stay, especially since we've moved and the closest one is 2 1/2 hours away. I also know that we can do it. My DH is capable, my LO's are old enough to "get it" and help out a bit, and go to daycare. I know what I need to do if the situation comes up again.

In the end, the space in my heart that felt as though I was "missing" another child won out against my anxiety about another NICU stay. (I'm also a big reader and did a bunch of reading and asking my GP and OB questions before I got pregnant so I could go into this pregnancy armed with some answers and a bit of knowledge).

Good luck.

SnowPea25 · June 2011

We are trying for #2 after my DS was born at 32 weeks due to severe pre-e. I of course am concerned, but mentally I feel that I am a little more prepared than I was with my first pregnancy. I honestly had the fantasy with my first that my water would break on my due date, I would have a normal delivery, and our little family would all go home together 2 days later. In addition to all the extreme emotions of having a preemie and being in the NICU for weeks, I also mourned the loss of my idealic vision that I believed for 7 months leading up to when I began to get sick.

I obviously now know that anything can happen, and while I am going into TTC#2 with a positive outlook (every pregnancy is different and history does not neccessarily have to repeat itself), if things do go south, I will heed the warning signs quicker and try to be ready in my head for whatever may come. After all our struggles with DS, he is now a happy healthy (and finally walking!) little guy and it was all worth it. For my husband and I, it would be worth it all over again for a 2nd baby. GL with whatever you decide!

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