How do you keep BD fun/romantic/spontaneous?

MickeyM04 · June 2011

So since I'm such a negative, pessimistic, glass is half empty kind of gal, I'm already anticipating a BFN this month and planning for next month.

This month, I got my first + OPK (two of them as a matter of fact), and so it was the first month where it was like, okay, we have to BD today, tomorrow, and the day after. Plus, I apparently have a fade-in pattern, so when the lines started getting darker, it was also, "Okay, we have to BD today because I think I'm going to get a + OPK." The first couple times it was exciting because to my knowledge, I did not O last month. Then it just started to get kind of irritating.

We also have two dogs, one of which is a puppy that can't be left unattended for too long, so there's also the time crunch issue (i.e. any kind of sex, even pre-BD sex, was usually quick and to the point). I think if this happens again next month...we might kill each other, nevermind being able to actually get "in the mood" for BD.

What do you guys do to keep BD fun/romantic/spontaneous when it has to be well-timed, consistent and persistent?

Cholzmei · June 2011

Peanut2929:
We also have two dogs, one of which is a puppy that can't be left unattended for too long, so there's also the time crunch issue (i.e. any kind of sex, even pre-BD sex, was usually quick and to the point). I think if this happens again next month...we might kill each other, nevermind being able to actually get "in the mood" for BD.
What do you guys do to keep BD fun/romantic/spontaneous when it has to be well-timed, consistent and persistent?

Dear god, woman... how long does it normally take you to have sex that your puppy is about to have an accident while waiting?

MickeyM04 · June 2011

Cholzmei:
Peanut2929:
We also have two dogs, one of which is a puppy that can't be left unattended for too long, so there's also the time crunch issue (i.e. any kind of sex, even pre-BD sex, was usually quick and to the point). I think if this happens again next month...we might kill each other, nevermind being able to actually get "in the mood" for BD.
What do you guys do to keep BD fun/romantic/spontaneous when it has to be well-timed, consistent and persistent?

Dear god, woman... how long does it normally take you to have sex that your puppy is about to have an accident while waiting?

Haha sorry--not that long. The concern is not an accident...it's that when left unattended he chews everything...furniture, etc. His crate is in our room, and we don't like locking him in there to watch, so we have to leave him out while BD'ing. Also happy to take any suggestions on this front as well!

MrsDizzyku · June 2011

Peanut2929:
Cholzmei:
Peanut2929:
We also have two dogs, one of which is a puppy that can't be left unattended for too long, so there's also the time crunch issue (i.e. any kind of sex, even pre-BD sex, was usually quick and to the point). I think if this happens again next month...we might kill each other, nevermind being able to actually get "in the mood" for BD.
What do you guys do to keep BD fun/romantic/spontaneous when it has to be well-timed, consistent and persistent?

Dear god, woman... how long does it normally take you to have sex that your puppy is about to have an accident while waiting?

Haha sorry--not that long. The concern is not an accident...it's that when left unattended he chews everything...furniture, etc. His crate is in our room, and we don't like locking him in there to watch, so we have to leave him out while BD'ing. Also happy to take any suggestions on this front as well!

I'm no expert on dogs or training, so forgive me if this is a crazy thing to suggest...couldn't you move the crate to the other room? Puppy can't destroy the house, you and YH can get it on without rushing through/killing the mood worrying about the dog. Win-win.

finchleyflower · June 2011

I am interested in the response to this, as I am worried about the same issue. Tonight was our first night of sex which was essentially only for TTC purposes, and I tried to wear pretty lingerie, but I reckon it will be hard to keep up the romance/excitement or whatever you call it.

Keeping my husband involved is helping - I talk to him about all the charting etc, and his feeling of being a part of it all, including the run up to the fertile period, means he is mentally prepared to do it even when we wouldn't ordinarily. So for example tonight he'd been to the gym and was exhausted, but he knew this was on the cards and it was good.

I don't know if this helps, but at least you are not alone with this question!

Best of luck!

siple1am · June 2011

MrsDizzyku:
Peanut2929:
Cholzmei:
Peanut2929:
We also have two dogs, one of which is a puppy that can't be left unattended for too long, so there's also the time crunch issue (i.e. any kind of sex, even pre-BD sex, was usually quick and to the point). I think if this happens again next month...we might kill each other, nevermind being able to actually get "in the mood" for BD.
What do you guys do to keep BD fun/romantic/spontaneous when it has to be well-timed, consistent and persistent?

Dear god, woman... how long does it normally take you to have sex that your puppy is about to have an accident while waiting?

Haha sorry--not that long. The concern is not an accident...it's that when left unattended he chews everything...furniture, etc. His crate is in our room, and we don't like locking him in there to watch, so we have to leave him out while BD'ing. Also happy to take any suggestions on this front as well!

I'm no expert on dogs or training, so forgive me if this is a crazy thing to suggest...couldn't you move the crate to the other room? Puppy can't destroy the house, you and YH can get it on without rushing through/killing the mood worrying about the dog. Win-win.

I don't know how to cut down on quotes quite yet, but I am hopping on this train. I agree and was going to suggest the bolded. Move the crate. You could always have sex not in the bedroom, to spice it up a bit.

MickeyM04 · June 2011

In order to avoid the crazy amount of quotes, I will just start a separate response. Not to get all deeply involved in my pet issues, but the puppy also has separation anxiety issues, which means every time he goes in the crate, he barks. So if we move the crate, which is feasible, we have to listen to him bark (which is not arousing, obviously). When he's not in the crate, he doesn't bark, but chews. So it's kind of a predicament. (Back story--he's a little german shepard mix that was abandoned in a cardboard box with his litter...which explains the issue with confinement in a crate, which is essentially a box, and then of course, chewing is normal for puppies.)

But I do appreciate the trying in a different room suggestion.

katiedollaz · June 2011

I have a puppy also and I don't think they get ideas from watching. Does that just creep you out or are you worried your puppy might try the same thing and go get KU? LOL. This is always an issue every month it softens the blow if you do it EOD but I told mine we are doing it ED and twice on the day I O. I was like DO WORK SON, Hit it and quit it, get er done...gave all those pep talks. This is going to sound funny but try giving his b@lls a tickle. That always seems to get them in the mood. Wink

KdgTeacher · June 2011

finchleyflower:

I am interested in the response to this, as I am worried about the same issue. Tonight was our first night of sex which was essentially only for TTC purposes, and I tried to wear pretty lingerie, but I reckon it will be hard to keep up the romance/excitement or whatever you call it.

Keeping my husband involved is helping - I talk to him about all the charting etc, and his feeling of being a part of it all, including the run up to the fertile period, means he is mentally prepared to do it even when we wouldn't ordinarily. So for example tonight he'd been to the gym and was exhausted, but he knew this was on the cards and it was good.

I don't know if this helps, but at least you are not alone with this question!

Best of luck!

Interesting..many women, myself included, would say the exact opposite. I avoided telling MH what was going on. The very few times I did tell him he was quickly tunred off and thought all sex was simply to "make a baby." Many women talk about the added pressure making it harder for their H's to "perform."

MH and I are now starting treatments with an RE, so he'll know more.

brookelynpaisley · June 2011

There was just a post about this on probably Monday. Suggestions included lingerie, taking it to other rooms or outside, role-playing, and anal. You're welcome.

MickeyM04 · June 2011

katiedollaz:
I have a puppy also and I don't think they get ideas from watching. Does that just creep you out or are you worried your puppy might try the same thing and go get KU? LOL. This is always an issue every month it softens the blow if you do it EOD but I told mine we are doing it ED and twice on the day I O. I was like DO WORK SON, Hit it and quit it, get er done...gave all those pep talks. This is going to sound funny but try giving his b@lls a tickle. That always seems to get them in the mood.

Haha he's fixed so I'm not worried about that It more just creeps me/hubby out because he stares at you while he's in there. He doesn't nap or eat his treat or whatever, he just stares like, "Let me out. What are you doing?" Tickling the balls, I will have to give that a try! I've never heard of that!

katiedollaz · June 2011

I get what your saying. Mine watches too but I ignore him lol. You never have. Oh my dear your husband will love you for years if you do! Trust me on that. Glad I could give you a touch tip

lycih · June 2011

brookelynpaisley:
There was just a post about this on probably Monday. Suggestions included lingerie, taking it to other rooms or outside, role-playing, and anal. You're welcome.

When I first read your cliffs notes version, I thought it said "taking it to other roomies"
Maybe you can start mixing that in with the (always hilarious) "anal" response.

"Bring friends"

brookelynpaisley · June 2011

KdgTeacher:
finchleyflower:

I am interested in the response to this, as I am worried about the same issue. Tonight was our first night of sex which was essentially only for TTC purposes, and I tried to wear pretty lingerie, but I reckon it will be hard to keep up the romance/excitement or whatever you call it.

Keeping my husband involved is helping - I talk to him about all the charting etc, and his feeling of being a part of it all, including the run up to the fertile period, means he is mentally prepared to do it even when we wouldn't ordinarily. So for example tonight he'd been to the gym and was exhausted, but he knew this was on the cards and it was good.

I don't know if this helps, but at least you are not alone with this question!

Best of luck!

Interesting..many women, myself included, would say the exact opposite. I avoided telling MH what was going on. The very few times I did tell him he was quickly tunred off and thought all sex was simply to "make a baby." Many women talk about the added pressure making it harder for their H's to "perform."

MH and I are now starting treatments with an RE, so he'll know more.

I agree that finchley's approach is the opposite of most ladies here. I kept it all to myself in the beginning. I didn't want to pressure DH with the "we have to now" stuff, and he doesn't need to know about CM or CP, and he couldn't care less about what my temperature was doing. Based on our non-TTC sex pattern, it was generally obvious when I was near O because I'd seduce him far more often. When it started to take longer, I'd tell him if we were getting close, or if I got a +OPK and it was go time. He's never had trouble performing under pressure, so it works for us. But it wouldn't work for everyone.

brithil · June 2011

Have sex in a different room. It spices things up and allows you to lock the dog away where you doesn't have a front row seat to the action.

finchleyflower · June 2011

Interesting that what seems so far to be working for us isn't the same for others - ignore what I said in that case!

I think my husband is the sort of man who is really decisive. When he decides he is ready for something he goes at with full steam. So in this case, he wasn't ready to have chidren for some time, but now that he is he asks me about my temps and wants to know everything and ensure we do it on the right days.

I can well see how that would be offputting for others though, and really we are only at the beginning of our TTC journey, so I may well use the rest of your tips further down the line! Sorry if I inadvertently gave bad advice!

Good luck to all!

alf005 · June 2011

Peanut2929:
In order to avoid the crazy amount of quotes, I will just start a separate response. Not to get all deeply involved in my pet issues, but the puppy also has separation anxiety issues, which means every time he goes in the crate, he barks. So if we move the crate, which is feasible, we have to listen to him bark (which is not arousing, obviously). When he's not in the crate, he doesn't bark, but chews. So it's kind of a predicament. (Back story--he's a little german shepard mix that was abandoned in a cardboard box with his litter...which explains the issue with confinement in a crate, which is essentially a box, and then of course, chewing is normal for puppies.)

But I do appreciate the trying in a different room suggestion.

Have you tried Bully Sticks or a stuffed Kong to curb his chewing habit? They certainly do keep my pup occupied (ever since she was a puppy, she's over a year old now.

Maybe keep him confined to the room that you're in but try giving him a bully stick or Kong stuffed with cheese & peanutbutter to keep him occupied so he's more into that than you and YH. If the treat you're giving him is super good/really interesting, he'll be more likely to pay attention to it. Also, maybe being out of the crate but in the same room as you will help him stay calm? Just spit ballin' ideas here Good luck!

JessicaJeanne · June 2011

brookelynpaisley:
KdgTeacher:
finchleyflower:

I am interested in the response to this, as I am worried about the same issue. Tonight was our first night of sex which was essentially only for TTC purposes, and I tried to wear pretty lingerie, but I reckon it will be hard to keep up the romance/excitement or whatever you call it.
Keeping my husband involved is helping - I talk to him about all the charting etc, and his feeling of being a part of it all, including the run up to the fertile period, means he is mentally prepared to do it even when we wouldn't ordinarily. So for example tonight he'd been to the gym and was exhausted, but he knew this was on the cards and it was good.
I don't know if this helps, but at least you are not alone with this question!
Best of luck!

Interesting..many women, myself included, would say the exact opposite. I avoided telling MH what was going on. The very few times I did tell him he was quickly tunred off and thought all sex was simply to "make a baby." Many women talk about the added pressure making it harder for their H's to "perform."
MH and I are now starting treatments with an RE, so he'll know more.

I agree that finchley's approach is the opposite of most ladies here. I kept it all to myself in the beginning. I didn't want to pressure DH with the "we have to now" stuff, and he doesn't need to know about CM or CP, and he couldn't care less about what my temperature was doing. Based on our non-TTC sex pattern, it was generally obvious when I was near O because I'd seduce him far more often. When it started to take longer, I'd tell him if we were getting close, or if I got a +OPK and it was go time. He's never had trouble performing under pressure, so it works for us. But it wouldn't work for everyone.

DH likes to know when it's time. Like OP says, he doesn't workout as hard if we are going to have sex that evening. He likes knowing when it's go time.

BlueEyedDreamer · June 2011

A) This question gets asked at least once a week, so you can probably go back a few pages and find some great answers.

The mixture of anti-dog-chewing advice in this post and the turning-DH-on-and-sexing-it-up advice in this post is creeping me out a little bit. WTH is a bully stick? Is it for my H or my dog?

bradswifey09 · June 2011

Dog situation- Just do it with the dog in the room! Our 3 year lab sleeps in our room every night. She doesnt care!

BD- We surprise each other at different times of the day (morning, middle of the night, afternoon on the weekends).v

yunk11 · June 2011

If the dog needs to be crated in order for you to have sex can you try covering part of the cage with a blanket so you can't see the dog from your bed?

[Deleted User] · June 2011

BlueEyedDreamer:
The mixture of anti-dog-chewing advice in this post and the turning-DH-on-and-sexing-it-up advice in this post is creeping me out a little bit. WTH is a bully stick? Is it for my H or my dog?

LOL

Penguin81 · June 2011

brookelynpaisley:
There was just a post about this on probably Monday. Suggestions included lingerie, taking it to other rooms or outside, role-playing, and anal. You're welcome.

This... or you might be "sticks and stones will break the bones but whips and chains excite us" type folks

fyziksgirl · June 2011

alf005:
Peanut2929:
In order to avoid the crazy amount of quotes, I will just start a separate response. Not to get all deeply involved in my pet issues, but the puppy also has separation anxiety issues, which means every time he goes in the crate, he barks. So if we move the crate, which is feasible, we have to listen to him bark (which is not arousing, obviously). When he's not in the crate, he doesn't bark, but chews. So it's kind of a predicament. (Back story--he's a little german shepard mix that was abandoned in a cardboard box with his litter...which explains the issue with confinement in a crate, which is essentially a box, and then of course, chewing is normal for puppies.)

But I do appreciate the trying in a different room suggestion.

Have you tried Bully Sticks or a stuffed Kong to curb his chewing habit? They certainly do keep my pup occupied (ever since she was a puppy, she's over a year old now.
Maybe keep him confined to the room that you're in but try giving him a bully stick or Kong stuffed with cheese & peanutbutter to keep him occupied so he's more into that than you and YH. If the treat you're giving him is super good/really interesting, he'll be more likely to pay attention to it. Also, maybe being out of the crate but in the same room as you will help him stay calm? Just spit ballin' ideas here Good luck!

re: the dog, I agree with the bolded (dog trainer here). Set up baby gates ($5-$10 each at Wal-mart) to keep him in the kitchen, or lock him in a gutted bathroom, and leave him with either a fantastic bone or chew that he ONLY gets when he's locked in there. If you're worried about barking, start doing this when you're not BDing for just a little at a time. At first it might consist of send him in, shut the door, get out of sight, count to 1, come back, let him out, pick up the awesome chew, act like nothing happened. He is never let out unless he's silent for at LEAST 5 sec, preferably 3, in a row. Build up the time. Start for as long as he can stand. The goal is he never barks in there. Just find something he LOVES (suggestions: Busy Buddy Twist 'n' Treat stuffed with any kind of hard treat, KONG stuffed with...anything. Cheese, peanut butter, frozen broth, banana, baby food (w/o onion powder), pieces of chicken, hot dog, on and on, you can adjust the difficulty with the ingredients, bully stick is great idea, so is a new, high-quality bone from a natural pet store).

re: Whoever asked what a bully stick is...you sure you want to know? If you want to stay innocent, don't read on. A bully stick is a bull penis. Yes. Yes it is. They are a favorite of dogs, they last a relatively long time, and they're easily digestible. So just don't thinka bout it.

re: BDing. We're only on cycle 2, but I go out of my way to make it clear I want my hubby. He doesn't have to know I want him for his sperm ;-) It's one of the few times I pull out lingerie. If you want, get some DVDs and learn how to do a strip tease or sexy dance, he wont' be able to resist and you'll feel sexy seeing the look in his eyes (No matter what you think you look like. I promise. He'll find it hot.). Also, I'd say doing worry about ED, EOD is fine. It you're ready to kill each other you're not having fun, and stress can hamper things.

GL!

Want a personalized experience?

How do you keep BD fun/romantic/spontaneous?

Re: How do you keep BD fun/romantic/spontaneous?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards