- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
Upstate NY Babies
reinforcement?(kind of long)
Ok so on Sunday we went to a picnic for Fathers day. At the place they had a swing and once L saw it- it was ALL he wanted to do. I didnt want to be THAT mom who monopolizes the one swing all day so I would swing him for like 20 minutes then take him out for a bit. When I would take him out- he would loose his mind- scream and cry. Each time we would distract him (lunch, taking a walk, etc) until he calmed down. If when we were done with the distraction the swing was open- I would put him back in for while- then take a break again.
So I was chatting with someone and they mentioned my putting him back in the swing might have reinforced his tantrums- so my question is how much time has to lapse until you arent doing that? I mean he never "forgot" that the swing was there- if were walked the park- he would always circle back to the swing.
Also he's 17m- so I know the concept of sharing and taking turns is not developed in him yet.
Thoughts?
Warning
No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
This discussion has been closed.
Re: reinforcement?(kind of long)
sounds like yours had a one track mind like mine, and does not forget about the things he wants/likes.
i would never think that once he calmed down, time passed and then you put him back on the swing you would be reinforcing his tantrum. i mean, if he was still carrying on and you gave in that would be different. it's was a swing and it was something that he should be interested in. i would have more issues with you giving in before he calmed down or giving into something that he wasn't supposed to have/do/play with.
As long as you aren't bringing him back to the swing while he is tantruming - basically just to get him to stop crying...I don't think you are reinforcing anything. If he calms down and you have done a few more things...and if he goes back to the swing it just means that he wants to swing. I guess, though...that giving in too much will not help him get the idea that things don't always go HIS way. We're working on this with Evan in OT right now...he is very self directed and the OT always pushes his buttons to the point where he wants to stop - but she makes him stop on HER terms...such as cleaning up one more toy than HE wants to.
I agree with pp's...if you put him back into the swing immediately during the tantrum or right after, you would be reinforcing it...but, by distracting him and then returning to the swing sometime later you're more "teaching" delayed gratification, if that makes sense. I think that's possible, even for a little guy.
And so nice that you were thinking of other moms and kids too! I understand he might be too little to get that, but I don't think it's too early ever to set a good example! Great job!
Nest Bio ~ ~ Baby Food Blog