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Babies on the Brain
SnowflakeBride06
member
Would you maintain this friendship or just let it go?
SnowflakeBride06
member
My college roomie lives 45m away and in the last 5 years she has been over 1x. I go to her because she has a DD that was preemie and it was just easier. I visit her quite a bit and call and make the plans with her, if I don't she would want to but not follow through ya know?
Her DD is now 4 yo and when I was pregnant she said she would come and visit since she SAH and its easier to come to us since we will have the lil one.
Its been 9 mo since Isabel was born and she has yet to come.
She invited me to her DD bday in April which I didn't make because Isabel was sick.
I had a gift for her I finally put in the mail and send an email saying it was on its way.
I get a phone call yesterday from her apologizing profusely and offering to come today to visit.
SO, I gave her the benefit of the doubt and made plans for her to come today.
45m before she was supposed to be here she called and said she wasn't feeling well so she wasn't coming
I wanna be a good friend and I get that life gets in the way but I feel like I have been a good friend to her, keeping up, calling and all and she doesn't reciprocate. I feel like life is too short to chase down friendships.
Am I way off here? Should I be more understanding or is enough is enough?
6/09 right tube loss (fallopian torsion) 12/09 BFP #1 (DD born 9/10)
8/12 dx Lupus (ANA+/APA-), 12/12 BFP #2 natural m/c 6w 2d
TTC#2 since 9/12 50mg Clomid/Ovidrel IUI #1 Beta 10/4=BFN
50mg Clomid/Ovidrel IUI #2 Beta 11/1= BFN
100 mg Clomid/Ovidrel IUI #3 Beta 12/26=BFFN
100 mg Clomid/Ovidrel IUI #4 Beta 2/14= BFFN
Took a LONG Break
Lots of Luck and Love BFPB for life KOFMKG
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Re: Would you maintain this friendship or just let it go?
If I were you, I'd stop trying to keep up the friendship, at least until she initiates something and follows through on it. It's unfortunate, but maybe this friendship is just going to die a long, quiet death.
I'm way late to this, but I just wanted to let you know I can completely relate. My best friend was so excited when I told her I was pregnant and kept talking about coming to see me in the hospital when he was born, etc. I called her about two hours after giving birth. She never came. Whatever, I was only in the hospital a day, no big deal. Then two weeks passed with promises to come visit (we live about 30 minutes apart). Nothing. After two months passed, I stopped initiating and told DH if she wanted to come visit, she'd have to contact me. After four months passed, she sent me a message saying how much she missed me; I responded and never heard anything back. After seven months passed, she contacted me on Facebook chat and we caught up briefly, mostly about her life and boyfriend, but including her saying she would call to find a time to visit. Ethan is now over nine months old, and I'm still waiting.
While part of me laments the loss of our friendship (she was my maid of honor, college friend, etc.), I'm glad I decided to stop initiating to see how long it would take her on her own.
Cloth-diapering, breastfeeding, baby-wearing SAHM/grad student
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This sounds like the relationship with my step-mom's side of the family.
You've went above & beyond to try & keep this friendship alive, but at some point you have to cut your losses & stop CPR. If she truly values your friendship, she'll make an effort. Otherwise, the friendship was more an old habit that needed to be quit.