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November 2011 Moms
Opinions wanted, baby shower for number 5
Hi Ladies,
I am wondering if it would be okay for my mom to throw me a shower for baby number 5?
Back round info: My oldest is 11 and I had a shower for her, 11 years ago. My second is 9, no shower for her. We had just moved to a new state and did not know anyone so there would not have been anyone to invite, and we had no need for anything. My third baby, he is 4 now, was after a period of being a single mom and was the first for my husband, he was also the first boy. I did not expect anything, but my SIL threw me a small shower/sprinkle. With baby number four, also a boy, now 14 months, we had (again) just moved to a new state, did not know many people and did not need anything.
That brings me to baby number 5. We need a few things, such as a new car seat since your not supposed to use them after 5 years and the one we have is from my first son. A double stroller, cloth diapers and the usual soaps lotion etc. We dont need any clothes or blankets for a boy, but if it is a girl, it would be nice to get some girl things. Of course 'boy' blankets and burp cloths will work just fine at home, but when we go out it will be nice to have pink. We can and plan to buy everything our selves.
My mom wants to throw us a shower if it is a girl... but is she is not sure if she wants to throw one if it is a boy as we need much less. I have my A/S on Friday. I think that if she wants to throw a shower to celebrate the baby then we should do that regardless of boy or girl, because the point is not about gifts or needs. I told he to make up her mind before I tell her if it is a boy or girl.
I am open to any and all opinions.... To have a shower or not???
Let me add, we are in a new state. None of the people invited will have been invited to previous showers. I am not registering and am asking that she call it a 'baby celebration or party' NOT a shower.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Opinions wanted, baby shower for number 5
Usually I'm really laxed about stuff like this but for someone on their 5th baby and their 3rd shower I would say no to a shower. Especially since the majority of the people who come will have been invited to your previous 2 or 3 showers. It seems very gift grabby to me and I have never said that to anyone else before. Since you have 4 previous children you really shouldn't need to purchase much so just do it yourself and anything anyone gives you down the line is just a bonus.
This, especially because your youngest is 14 months.
If someone wants to buy you a baby gift, that's great! But to register and have a shower for a 5th baby is tacky, IMO. It's not your family or friends obligation to support your major lifestyle changes.
Make a pregnancy ticker
While this all may be true, it still comes across gift grabby since your youngest is only 14 months. I'd pass on the party, and have some kind of get together after the baby is born instead.
Sorry; I assumed when you mentioned in your post you have a few things you'll need, like a car seat and stroller, that you were hoping to receive these as gifts at your shower. I would host a party after the baby is born for your family/friends to meet the baby vs. having a shower.
i'm usually pretty pro-shower, but personally i would give the side eye if i got an invite for a 5th baby, especially with your youngest being only 14 months. typically i see 2nd/3rd showers in families were the kids are far apart in age.
Could you do a sip and see after the baby is born?
FWIW- even if i were invited and were to come to your shower i would not purchase a car seat or a double stroller. both of those items are a bit on the pricey side. Where as, i'd likely give a $20-30 gift. Sorry
I support a baby celebration... but i think after baby is born would be better then before.
If you actually want to "celebrate the baby", host your own party AFTER the baby is born. Celebrating the baby before its arrival is called a shower, and people bring gifts. Everyone knows this, and pretending its anything less doesn't make it any less gift grabby.
Why not have a sip-n-see after baby is born if it's just about throwing a party honoring the baby? That way people don't feel obligated to buy a gift because that's what baby showers are really all about. A sip-n-see the main purpose is to see the baby and maybe have a glass of punch a piece of cake. There are no games, obligation to ooh and ahh over gifts. Plus if people want to bring you a card or something small they can pick up something they want to give baby.
DMoney will be a kickass big sister
This. I think showers should be for the first baby only unless baby 1 was born 12 years ago and you are just now having baby 2.
I say regardless of whether you need stuff or not, its not okay to have your mom throw you a shower for #5.
I guess I'm the only one ha but I say if you want to have a shower, go ahead and have one! A shower is about celebrating pregnancy and a new baby, not just about presents. And if your family and friends were anything like mine, they would be just as excited about baby number 5 and would be buying baby things anyway. I say have it, and if people have a problem with it, they won't come. If you wanna bill it as just a baby celebration, no gifts, I think that would be great and give people an out who don't have the money to buy a gift. Also, I think it'll be fine since you said none of these people have ever been to a shower of yours before, so it's not like you have been haranguing them for presents for years now. But yea even if it just ends up being your mom and close family, it'll be a good time to bond over the baby and that's great
A big no no... I can see if you have a HUGE age gap, but since you LO is only 14 months, def. not!!
According to Wikipedia:
Traditionally, baby showers were given only for the family's first child, and only women attended. The original intent was for women to share wisdom and lessons on the art of becoming a mother.[citation needed]Over time, it has become common to hold them for subsequent or adopted children, and/or invite men as well. It is not uncommon for a parent to have more than one baby shower, such as one with friends and another with co-workers.
According to etiquette authority Miss Manners, because the party centers on gift-giving, the baby shower is typically arranged and hosted by a close friend rather than a member of the family, since it is considered rude for families to beg for gifts on behalf of their members.[1] However, this custom varies by culture or region and in some it is expected and customary for a close female family member to host the baby shower, oftentimes the grandmother.[citation needed]
There is no set rule for when or where showers are to be held. The number of guests and style of entertainment are determined by the host. Most hosts invite only women to baby showers, although there is no firm rule requiring this. If the shower is held after the baby's birth, then the baby is usually brought, too. Showers typically include food but not a full meal.
Guests bring small or large gifts for the expectant mother. Typical gifts related to babies include diapers, baby bottles, clothes, and toys. It is common to open the gifts during the party.
Some hosts arrange baby-themed activities, such as games to taste baby foods or to guess the baby's birth date or gender
Well thanks so much for all you opinions. We will not be having a traditional shower. We will work on some other idea to celebrate. We do not want to wait until after because I am due in late November and with all the holiday parties it would be hard to schedule.
Because the focus is not intended to be on gifts a traditional baby shower or even a sprinkle is out for sure. My mom may host a ladies tea and luncheon at the club house where she lives, and make it clear on the invite that gifts are not required. Thanks for all the opinions, it helps me understand that when 'shower' invite goes out it is synonymous with gift giving.
Thanks again ladies :-)
Make a pregnancy ticker
I just have to roll my eyes at the. Yes every baby should be celebrated. But not every celebration should be a SHOWER!
Ms. Jade, There s absolutely no need for you to "roll your eyes" at my post. She asked for opinions about having a shower. I didn't ask for opinions about my post. I'm very blessed to have a circle of family and friends who don't mind hosting or attending showers for baby #2, #3, etc. I've attended many and I have even hosted a few. Both of my children are going to be able to look at pictures in their scrapbook and see family and friends who were excited about their arrival.
Yet again you are confusing a gathering of family and friends to celebrate a child with a request for gifts. It's called a SHOWER because guests SHOWER the guest of honor with gifts. No one is denying that your kids will love to see that people gathered around to celebrate them. This is a beautiful thing. But this beautiful thing does not have to be a GIFT GIVING EVENT.