putting down to sleep..

linjmurx · June 2011

when you put your LO down for a nap or at night, do you aim to first have her (or him)

A- still awake so that she soothes herself to sleep

B- eyes just closed... first stage of sleep

C-eyes closed for 20 minutes or so, in deep sleep.

cluk3510 · June 2011

We try to have DD awake, but will put her down just after her eyes close too. We also let her cry for 10-15 minutes before checking on her so she can try to soothe herself to sleep.

MrsDink · June 2011

B - LO has been doing pretty well falling asleep himself (me walking him around the house, but not rocking him to sleep or anything). I put him in his rock & play as soon as I see his eyes getting heavy. Not entirely passed out, but definitely tired.

That way if he fusses a bit or pops his eyes open when I put him down, I know that he's sleepy and can then soothe himself to sleep if need be. If he spits his pacifier out, I only go in once to put it back in. After that, he's on his own.

KERJF · June 2011

i dont let her cry herself to sleep. most nights she is almost asleep, just heavy eyes and then she is able to fall asleep the rest of the way on her own

HKDO08 · June 2011

Wow! When I leave my baby still awake but sleepy - she'll just scream forever without self soothing. I always have to get her to be asleep for a few minutes.

andrea922 · June 2011

cluk3510:
We try to have DD awake, but will put her down just after her eyes close too. We also let her cry for 10-15 minutes before checking on her so she can try to soothe herself to sleep.

You let your 3 week old cry herself to sleep?

shannonalise · June 2011

andrea922:
cluk3510:
We try to have DD awake, but will put her down just after her eyes close too. We also let her cry for 10-15 minutes before checking on her so she can try to soothe herself to sleep.
You let your 3 week old cry herself to sleep?

This. 3 weeks is not old enough to soothe herself to sleep.

RunningGal900 · June 2011

B. I can sometimes get away with sleepy but awake, but honestly, he falls asleep nursing most of the time and I can't drop that last feed yet (he just won't go to sleep if he doesn't get it).

tokenhoser · June 2011

shannonalise:
andrea922:
cluk3510:
We try to have DD awake, but will put her down just after her eyes close too. We also let her cry for 10-15 minutes before checking on her so she can try to soothe herself to sleep.
You let your 3 week old cry herself to sleep?
This. 3 weeks is not old enough to soothe herself to sleep.

Um... yeah, most doctors will say not to do this until 3-4 months. Not 3-4 weeks.

I usually nurse him almost to sleep, or to a light sleep, and then he lets me put him down and goes to sleep (but usually in a bouncer or swing at this point).

Scout05 · June 2011

Depends on her mood. Sometimes she'll go down a little awake and fall asleep on her own, other times she needs me to hold her until she is pretty much asleep. She's just not consistent with either one yet, which is fine. I'm happy to take her lead (I don't mind the extra cuddle time, to be honest.)

ETA: and given that she's 9 weeks old, if she cries I pick her back up right away. PP, your three week old is in no way capable of self soothing at this age; I might leave her alone for a minute if she's just making noises, to see if she'll fall back asleep, but only for a minute. And crying means I'm back in the room right away.

Temp38995750004016 · June 2011

First sign of sleep. It works 95% of the time, but sometimes I have to pick her back up and cuddle her for another minute or two. I try to do this standing by the crib so I can just put her back down. Sometimes I can just pat her tummy and she will fall asleep. I agree...anything under 4 months is WAY too young to soothe themselves.

biblionerd · June 2011

cluk3510:
We also let her cry for 10-15 minutes before checking on her so she can try to soothe herself to sleep.

Poor baby. Sad

Your THREE week old is nowhere near capable of self-soothing. To answer the OP, usually DS has to be a very light sleep or very drowsy. He WAS doing well going to sleep awake, but giving us tired cues though over the past week that has changed sadly.

RunningGal900 · June 2011

biblionerd:
cluk3510:
We also let her cry for 10-15 minutes before checking on her so she can try to soothe herself to sleep.
Poor baby. Your THREE week old is nowhere near capable of self-soothing. To answer the OP, usually DS has to be a very light sleep or very drowsy. He WAS doing well going to sleep awake, but giving us tired cues though over the past week that has changed sadly.

I agree - I am sad for this baby. I don't know how you can listen to a baby that tiny cry. I was practically in tears when DS was melting down on the highway for 5 minutes today and I couldn't pick him up.

wall0307 · June 2011

B. We bounce him to sleep and then put him in his crib. He's pretty easy. He does wake up in the night sometimes, and I can hear him playing. He will usually put himself back to sleep, unless he's hungry.

hmontty · June 2011

I don't shoot for anything. I do my routine (bath, if bath night, change, put in PJs, feed, burp over my back and talk about her day, then down in the crib), and whatever state she happens to be in, that's that. Tonight she fell asleep on my shoulder almost right away. Usually, though, she is quite awake and puts herself to sleep. However, she is a great sleeper and has slept through the night without fail, here, at my parents' house, and in hotel rooms, every single night since six weeks.

hmontty · June 2011

shannonalise:
andrea922:
cluk3510:
We try to have DD awake, but will put her down just after her eyes close too. We also let her cry for 10-15 minutes before checking on her so she can try to soothe herself to sleep.
You let your 3 week old cry herself to sleep?
This. 3 weeks is not old enough to soothe herself to sleep.

Agreed. You need to be grabbing that baby up at 3 weeks...she's still a little thing.

Dreamsicle23 · June 2011

Oh FFS people! 10 minutes of crying won't do anything bad!!!!!! Stop guilt tripping anyone who breaks one of the holy Bump commandments.

normajeane6126 · June 2011

Dreamsicle23:
Oh FFS people! 10 minutes of crying won't do anything bad!!!!!! Stop guilt tripping anyone who breaks one of the holy Bump commandments.

ACTUALLY:

The Ainsworth position on child rearing is as follows: ?Evolution has provided infants with signals and gestures that promote healthy development, and it is wiseest to respond to them. As parents, we should follow our impulse and go to our babies when they cry, return their smiles, talk back when they babble, and so on. Infants are biologicallly prepared to guide us with respect to the experiences they need, and our relationships with them will develop most happily when we follow their cues (Crain, William. Theory of Development).??Parents who respond sensitively and promptly to their infants? signals tend to produce babies who, at 1 year of age, are securely attatched?THIS IS IMPORTANT?Securely attatched infants cry less than other babies and are relatively independent. They seem to have developed the feeling that they can always get the parent?s attention when necessary, so they can relax and explore the world. Even in new settings, they do not worry excessively about the mother?s presence. Instead, they use her as a secure base from which to explore (Crain, William. Theory of Development).?There are 3 types of Infants:1. Securely Attached Infants - The healthiest and most independent infants. Mothers are rated as sensitive and prompthly responsive to their babies? cries.2, Insecure-Avoidant Infants - These are independent children who do not use their mother as a base for exploration. They often display emotionally avoidant behavior. Mother?s are rated as relatively insensitive, interfereing, and rejecting

3. Insecure-Ambivalent Infants - These mother?s treat their babies in an inconsistent manner. The mothers had been warm and responsive on some occasions but not on others (CIO children). The infants are often clingy and so preoccupied with the mother?s whereabouts that they hardly explore at all.

mari_gold · June 2011

Dreamsicle23:
Oh FFS people! 10 minutes of crying won't do anything bad!!!!!! Stop guilt tripping anyone who breaks one of the holy Bump commandments.

You see nothing wrong with routinely letting a 3-week-old cry in the theory that she'll be able to self-soothe? Even though that ability doesn't develop until 4 months on the EARLY side? Because that just strikes me as ignorant.

helenejr · June 2011

it all depends - i don't really focus on the stage of sleep although i don't think Cooper has ever gone to bed after already being asleep - i aim for him to be awake and self sooth

helenejr · June 2011

i don't agree - My DS is 3 weeks old and self sooths after a max of about 2-3 mins crying - i wouldn't let him cry for more than 10 mins without checking him though - i haven't had to though - he is usally asleep after 3 of 4 big cries....

EDIT: and there are a lot of parenting books that say a few minutes of crying is perfectly fine and that baby should settle without the need of parental help. Just because you find one article does not make it gospel.

pandi02a · June 2011

I do C. I don't put him down until I know he's sleeping.

Anyone who thinks it's okay to let a 3 week old CIO for 10-15 minutes deserves all of the flames they are going to get.

Scout05 · June 2011

helenejr:

i don't agree - My DS is 3 weeks old and self sooths after a max of about 2-3 mins crying - i wouldn't let him cry for more than 10 mins without checking him though - i haven't had to though - he is usally asleep after 3 of 4 big cries....

EDIT: and there are a lot of parenting books that say a few minutes of crying is perfectly fine and that baby should settle without the need of parental help. Just because you find one article does not make it gospel.

It's WAY more than one article. Even the Ferber book agrees that 4 months is the earliest you should begin sleep training.

fancynewbeesly · June 2011

All of the three depending on the day.

Many times she will fall asleep during the bottle, so I will put her right in the crib.

A lot of times, if she is awake (wide awake) and I put her down in the crib/pack 'n play to run to the bathroom or feed the cats (gone for about 5-10 minutes) she is fast asleep. I never intend for her to fall asleep, it is just I need to quickly do something.

She very rarely cries when we put her down to sleep, at the most she fusses (grunting, etc) which I typically put the paci in, and then she calms down. But I will let her fuss and kick and swing her arms because she doesn't seem to be upset at all. (Many times her eyes are already closed when she does this) Like I said she rarely cries when she is put down, and when she does I do go to her.

Dreamsicle23 · June 2011

There's a HUGE difference between formal sleep training and 10 minutes of crying on occasion.

Also, venture over to the AP board. Many people with a 1+ year old over there still has baby in bed with them all night, have to stay in bed when baby goes to bed so they'll stay asleep, they're still on the boob all night long, want to be held all day long...you get the idea. I'm not saying that's a bad thing. I'm just saying that instantly responding to each and every need immediately, 24/7 does not always make for a secure, independent 1 year old.

MaybeBaby2 · June 2011

Mostly A, H's eyes will look heavy and I'll put him in the crib.

Scout05 · June 2011

Dreamsicle23:

There's a HUGE difference between formal sleep training and 10 minutes of crying on occasion.

Also, venture over to the AP board. Many people with a 1+ year old over there still has baby in bed with them all night, have to stay in bed when baby goes to bed so they'll stay asleep, they're still on the boob all night long, want to be held all day long...you get the idea. I'm not saying that's a bad thing. I'm just saying that instantly responding to each and every need immediately, 24/7 does not always make for a secure, independent 1 year old.

There is also a HUGE difference between not letting your infant attempt to self soothe before it is age appropriate to do so and Attachment Parenting.

We do not co-sleep. DD has not once slept in our bed. We also don't hold her all day long nor is she attached to the bottle all night.

I instantly respond to each and every one of her needs, and she is STTN at this point beautifully. In her own crib, in her own room. I would wager a guess that there are parents who do CIO before it is advised to do so, and they also don't have secure, independent 1 year olds.

I'm sorry, but letting a newborn - and three weeks old is a newborn - cry for ten-fifteen minutes in an attempt to get them to self-soothe is horrifying to me.

andrea922 · June 2011

Dreamsicle23:
There's a HUGE difference between formal sleep training and 10 minutes of crying on occasion.
Also, venture over to the AP board. Many people with a 1+ year old over there still has baby in bed with them all night, have to stay in bed when baby goes to bed so they'll stay asleep, they're still on the boob all night long, want to be held all day long...you get the idea. I'm not saying that's a bad thing. I'm just saying that instantly responding to each and every need immediately, 24/7 does not always make for a secure, independent 1 year old.

And there is a HUGE difference between a 1 year old and a 3 week old. I also am pretty sure that the parents on the AP board don't mind having their kids in bed with them. Letting a THREE week old cry does not mean they will be a secure, independent 1 year old.

RunningGal900 · June 2011

Scout05:
Dreamsicle23:

There's a HUGE difference between formal sleep training and 10 minutes of crying on occasion.

Also, venture over to the AP board. Many people with a 1+ year old over there still has baby in bed with them all night, have to stay in bed when baby goes to bed so they'll stay asleep, they're still on the boob all night long, want to be held all day long...you get the idea. I'm not saying that's a bad thing. I'm just saying that instantly responding to each and every need immediately, 24/7 does not always make for a secure, independent 1 year old.

There is also a HUGE difference between not letting your infant attempt to self soothe before it is age appropriate to do so and Attachment Parenting.

We do not co-sleep. DD has not once slept in our bed. We also don't hold her all day long nor is she attached to the bottle all night.

I instantly respond to each and every one of her needs, and she is STTN at this point beautifully. In her own crib, in her own room. I would wager a guess that there are parents who do CIO before it is advised to do so, and they also don't have secure, independent 1 year olds.

I'm sorry, but letting a newborn - and three weeks old is a newborn - cry for ten-fifteen minutes in an attempt to get them to self-soothe is horrifying to me.

This exactly. We moved DS out of our room at 6 weeks and he sleeps through the night with one food break at 3 am. I have always responded to his cries because if he cries he needs us. Also many of the women on the AP board choose to keep their babies in their bed bc the arrangement works for them. It is not my parenting choice, but I can respect it. I cannot respect letting a baby that young CIO - they don't have the developmental ability.

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