Anyone's DH in school?

Re: Anyone's DH in school?

• vlcms

  November 2008

  My DH is is finishing up his Bachelors . He will graduate in May. We have a almsot 7 month old son that I stay at home with. He works full time in College Station and he also goes to Texas A&M in the evenings after work. He is not taking a full load because that woould be hard for him to do. We live in Spring which is an hour and half drive. So when he gets out of class at 8:20 he will get home around 10pm then he has to go study. We hardly see him. As for how we afford for me to stay home is that we budget like crazy and we cut back on a lot of things. It is really tight but its worth it to us. I also do ChaCha and some other little jobs to make a little bit of money here and there so we can go out to eat once in a while. It is hard and for us it puts a strain on our marriage. We've only been married for bout a year and half. We got pregnant about two months after we got married. But its all worth it for him to finish his degree.

  Report0 Reply
• Loading the player...
• Abby7 member

  November 2008

  Thanks!

  What you're describing is a bit of what I'm afraid of. I want to make sure we have enough time together...Plus we want to buy a house and move 1000 miles away in the next year or so so the price of the house we buy will be very much influenced by this. The thing is that once he finishes his degree he should be able to make lots more money and me SAH will be a lot easier. I guess it's just the in-school period that's hard?

    
  

  Report0 Reply
• vlcms

  November 2008

  It is hard to find time to spend together but we still find some time and the time that we do is very special. I would think that its just the in-school period that is hard. Might still be a little hard when he finishes his degree if there are any bills or credit/loans that you have to pay on or to catch up on things. But I believe that it will be easier when he finishes....thats what keeps me going...I just have to keep reminding myself its only till May...It only till May.

  I hope everything works out for you!!

  Report0 Reply
• Stacyc625 member

  November 2008

  DH just finished his degree after two years (online)--- our DD is 5.5months old and I will be the first one to tell you it is HARD. it is pretty much like being a single parent. (at least what i experienced)-- mostly everything fell on me. DH did what he could but he was spread pretty thin.

  communication is important- i would sit down and discuss roles and responsibilities now. While have a child and a DH in school is doable... I am still here. it is difficult-

  one of the most important things was feeling like i had to be supportive of him to finish- while receiving no support myself. Then again i always find myself being the proverbial 'cheerleader' --

  i am glad he is finished- and now things are slowly settling into a different routine.

  

  Report0 Reply
• Temp856430000003146

  November 2008

  DH is finishing his bachelors. He works nights and goes to school during the day. He is going to school part time because he is working full time. He has another year or so before he graduates.

  It's hard right now, but we know it's for the best for our family in the future.

  As far as how we're paying for it... DH's parents offered to pay. Which has been amazing. I don't think he would have gone back otherwise.  

  Report0 Reply
• marrymemylove member

  November 2008

  How committed are you to staying home? As a student he might (depending on the school) have access to some subsidised child care/babysitting coops. If you went back to work even part time it could get you through his school period.

  That said I would never have survived without DH being very available that first year. I really really disliked my days and I got no useful sleep at night. Unless your DH is prepared to completely abdicate his fathering responsibilities for the duration of the course he will be studying every spare waking moment. I just did my masters and without full time childcare I could not have done it. So in your DHs position you'd be his full time child care so to speak... which is not fun for you never getting a break not to mention the tight budget.

  Money wasn't an issue for us because DH earned enough for us to be comfortable, for me to do my masters and have 5 day childcare, but short of that I don't know how I'd have managed. I was coming home from school at 4-4:30, getting DS at 5, trying to do shopping/errands with him on the way home, going to the park, coming back around 6pm to start dinner and DH would get home about then. We'd have dinner and DS would be in bed by around 8pm and then I'd work from 8pm-1am 5 nights a week. On the weekends DH would be full time carer and I would go to the library to study from about 10am until about 4pm both days. We would still get to have a slower breakfast together but that's about it.

  And we didn't have to worry about debt because we were able to pay the fees upfront. To take on the debt as well would have scared the hell out of me.?

  Report0 Reply