Fighting diaper and clothing changes - what to try?

epphd · June 2011

I suspect this has been asked a thousand times, but what are your thoughts on clothing/diaper change meltdowns? Sam is fine with both, most of the time. But about 20% of the time - especially in the morning he does.not.want.to. I know it's that he's busy; he doesn't want to be taken out of the action; he doesn't want to hold still and be "manipulated." But we don't have infinite time in the morning and sometimes we just have to get moving and get out the door.

I've tried telling him way in advance: OK Sam, when we're done withe breakfast we're going to change your diaper and get dressed; I've tried asking him: "Sam, would you bring me your diaper so we can get changed and dressed?" And I've tried just doing it.

Sometimes the first two (particularly the latter) works - he gets to participate in the process and help. But usually, not so much. He either runs away or when I pick him up he starts screaming and squirming, making the whole thing more frustrating for both of us.

I don't like restraining him or holding him down, but it's necessary to clean his bum or get him dressed - and I feel like it escalates the situation. But at the same time, we don't have infinite time for him to feel like holding still.

It's not like I get him up and change him right away. I get him up, we cuddle a bit, we eat breakfast together, and depending on timing, he plays for a few minutes. Then it's time to get ready and that's when the meltdown starts.

Oh, sometimes he can be distracted on the table with a toy, but when he's in a mood anything that gets into his hand is just thrown. And another tidbit - singing sometimes works, but usually when he's tired. First thing in the morning it seems nothing works, and we've been starting our days with temper tantrums the last several mornings.

Thanks!

superned · June 2011

I keep a stash of "special" toys on the shelf over our changing table. It's all stuff she can only hold/play with during a diaper change, so it's a little more enticing that just a regular toy. It's really simple stuff - a couple beanie toys, her hair brush, a couple of birthday cards - but she can be distracted with them.

One of the toys is a little beanie ghost that we call "ghostie" and I'll make ghost noises ("whooooooooo") and she gets all excited and tries to say, "Ghostie!" If she's in a particularly ornery mood, I start the ghost noises before I even get to the changing table so she's already distracted.

I have about six or seven things up there, because the first couple always get thrown ("uh oh!").

Maybe try to find some non-baby stuff that would hold his interest - maybe some photos (copies of course!) that it would be okay for him to bend or rip, cards, an old remote...stuff like that. Maybe?

firsttogo · June 2011

All three of mine have been that way for periods of time, and really what works is to just hold them down, and get it done. Linc would and will be more cooperative if I give him the diaper to hold when he is laying down.

Some kids just don't like it, but it is a necessary part of the day! I know you don't want to restrain him, but we will try things like having him hold the diap, wipe, or count out loud to ten... (that is how Nolan learned to count! LOL)

muppet.fan · June 2011

My iphone has worked wonders for us. We were getting the meltdowns every night after bathtime when we'd go into E's room to do diaper and pajamas. It only took a night or two for her to realize getting to play her favorite shape game (Toddler Teasers shapes) on my phone was way more fun than yelling.

Mouseygail · June 2011

ditto the singing, weird toys, and iphone. beyond that, I was wondering if he would be more pliable when he's still waking up? DS does much better with diaper changes when he's still super sleepy...if i wait to do it, he's a crank pot and is thrashing and trying to get away.

artygirl · June 2011

I was also going to suggest changing the diaper and putting on clothes before breakfast. He might get a little dirty eating breakfast, but, assuming it works, at least you won't have the fight.

epphd · June 2011

Thanks for the suggestions. I can't change him right away because he wakes up FAMISHED. He lunges for the breakfast table. What works - and what I don't want to do all the time - is what we do on weekends. I go in when he wakes up, give him a bottle and change his diaper. He then goes back to sleep for 2+ hours (yep - as late as 9, 10 a.m.) It's awesome for us, but it does mean we're still giving him a bottle so we know our days are numbered there

It doesn't work with a sippy cup, so I couldn't just sub that out for the bottle. I suppose I could try to give him a piece of fruit or something, but eating on the changing table is... kinda gross! Plus, um, he usually does his morning "business" right after breakfast.

I think distraction is going to have to be the key. I won't give him my phone (don't want him throwing it) but there must be some other option. Ugh.

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