LO eats better at daycare than at home!

rosiep05 · June 2011

My super-picky son has been on this yogurt-only-for-dinner kick for god knows how long now. I was talking to our DCP about it, and she was telling me that he eats EVERYTHING the other kids eat! Our DCP provides lunch, but i was still packing up a lunch for him because i THOUGHT he wasn't eating "real" food! Boy was i wrong. He eats mac & cheese, pasta, meatballs, soup, waffles, pancakes, etc. But once he's home for dinner, and on weekends, nada...zilch...nothing. Yogurt yogurt yogurt.

What do i do? Everyone tells me that it's because of the other kids...maybe i should have cardboard cutouts of the kids eating in our house Wink

But seriously, yogurt every single night? Do we put a real dinner in front of him and let him fuss and cry and go nuts and tell him that this is dinner, no choices? OR do we not make it a power-struggle and just give him both the yogurt and something else, and let him choose, which i know he'll choose the yogurt?

Dreamsicle23 · June 2011

rosiep05:
But seriously, yogurt every single night? Do we put a real dinner in front of him and let him fuss and cry and go nuts and tell him that this is dinner, no choices? OR do we not make it a power-struggle and just give him both the yogurt and something else, and let him choose, which i know he'll choose the yogurt?

You answered your own question. My bet is that he knows if he's at home and he fusses, he gets yummy yogurt for dinner. Also, that is NOT making it a power struggle. You are still leaving the choice of if/how much to eat up to him.

Cooper81 · June 2011

We are in kind of the same boat, when we pick DS up from DC they comment that he is a "bottomless pit" there and usually eats seconds, at home he will eat just a little bit of everything on his plate. We found that if we aren't really paying attention to him during dinner-we continue to have conversations about or day or other topics-he tends to keep eating. I think having 100% of the attention on him, he likes to "act" for us KWIM? He will bite his spoon and keep it in his mouth, he will try to feed us his food, he will scrunch his face up and laugh, but if we aren't giving him our full attention he tends to eat pretty much his whole dinner. We also have started putting on some toddler tunes during dinner, which for some strange reason seems to help. It might be that he is used to having a lot going on around him when he is eating that the music helps??

rosiep05 · June 2011

Thanks! So just give him the mac & cheese, no other choices...and if he doesn't eat and complains, just let it go?

I'm trying to make mealtime pleasant in the hopes that it would make him less picky and enjoy eating more, but it's tough! It's hard for me not to freak out when he doesn't eat and think that he's going to starve...but i know he won't!

kmlkjh · June 2011

rosiep05:
What do i do? Everyone tells me that it's because of the other kids...maybe i should have cardboard cutouts of the kids eating in our house

LOL, maybe worth a shot!

I would make the change at dinner slowly. Offer yogurt plus something you know he ate at daycare and liked. Then slowly cut back on how much yogurt he gets, while increasing the amount of dinner food until you offer just dinner food and don't back down from that point on. If he's still hungry then he will have to eat the regular dinner food. If you don't like the idea of a slow change then I would go with a straight change, no more dinner yogurt and only offer a regular dinner plate. Your LO is going to be mad about it at first but if you'll have to be very strong on not giving in. Even if he wants to come back later and eat, it is just more dinner food not something else. I know my LO would be better off with a quick switch but she's a fighter and I know how long she will probably last on her stubborn refusals but every one is different and it's really up to you how you want to do it.

rosiep05 · June 2011

kmlkjh:
rosiep05:

What do i do? Everyone tells me that it's because of the other kids...maybe i should have cardboard cutouts of the kids eating in our house

LOL, maybe worth a shot!

I would make the change at dinner slowly. Offer yogurt plus something you know he ate at daycare and liked. Then slowly cut back on how much yogurt he gets, while increasing the amount of dinner food until you offer just dinner food and don't back down from that point on. If he's still hungry then he will have to eat the regular dinner food. If you don't like the idea of a slow change then I would go with a straight change, no more dinner yogurt and only offer a regular dinner plate. Your LO is going to be mad about it at first but if you'll have to be very strong on not giving in. Even if he wants to come back later and eat, it is just more dinner food not something else. I know my LO would be better off with a quick switch but she's a fighter and I know how long she will probably last on her stubborn refusals but every one is different and it's really up to you how you want to do it.

I think we may try the slow switch for a few days. I don't know if it will work, but I guess it's worth a shot. I think the hard part for us is knowing that if we don't give in, he's going to bed with nothing in his stomach. I know he won't starve, but I just feel awful for that. But on the other hand, you're all right...he's wants yogurt because he knows he'll eventually get it...mommy always gives in! Sigh!

Who knew having a picky eater would be so frustrating!

rosiep05 · June 2011

laura_belle:

He eats only yogurt because you let him eat only yogurt.

I would ask daycare more questions. How does he act when they put the food in front of him- does he fuss or just eat it with no fuss? How longs does it take him to finally eat it, etc.

Thanks! I kind of drilled into them for more info yesterday and here's what i found out:

If he likes what they put in front of him, he has no problem eating it. Sometimes he likes to be fed, sometimes he likes to feed himself...depends on the food. If he doesn't care for the meal, he politely pushes the bowl away. No fuss, no temper tantrums.

beth&anth · June 2011

Mine eats better at daycare too- I knew she ate well there, but didn't realize how well until I was there over lunch one day and saw her eat 2 helpings

There are nights that she just isn't hungry, so I don't make a huge deal of it. But with that being said, she will eat more than yogurt. I think food/eating issues can quickly become a power struggle. I like the idea of cutting back slowly on yogurt. Maybe instead of a plate with multiple things on it, offer him a plate of mac & cheese, pasta, or something else you know that he eats at daycare. Good luck! Eating issues can be so frustrating!

monlyn9 · June 2011

rosiep05:
kmlkjh:
rosiep05:

What do i do? Everyone tells me that it's because of the other kids...maybe i should have cardboard cutouts of the kids eating in our house

LOL, maybe worth a shot!

I would make the change at dinner slowly. Offer yogurt plus something you know he ate at daycare and liked. Then slowly cut back on how much yogurt he gets, while increasing the amount of dinner food until you offer just dinner food and don't back down from that point on. If he's still hungry then he will have to eat the regular dinner food. If you don't like the idea of a slow change then I would go with a straight change, no more dinner yogurt and only offer a regular dinner plate. Your LO is going to be mad about it at first but if you'll have to be very strong on not giving in. Even if he wants to come back later and eat, it is just more dinner food not something else. I know my LO would be better off with a quick switch but she's a fighter and I know how long she will probably last on her stubborn refusals but every one is different and it's really up to you how you want to do it.

I think we may try the slow switch for a few days. I don't know if it will work, but I guess it's worth a shot. I think the hard part for us is knowing that if we don't give in, he's going to bed with nothing in his stomach. I know he won't starve, but I just feel awful for that. But on the other hand, you're all right...he's wants yogurt because he knows he'll eventually get it...mommy always gives in! Sigh!

Who knew having a picky eater would be so frustrating!

Remember, giving in on these things now is setting a tone for much bigger struggles later in life. Stand strong on this issue. You know that he is a big eater at daycare so if he goes a night or two without eating anything for dinner it won't be too big of a deal. Maybe start this process on a Monday so that he doesn't go a whole weekend without eating if he decides to be super stubborn! Good luck.

Amy&Andy · June 2011

I could have wrote this exact same post. There are things that he won't eat from me but DCP tells me he chows down on at daycare. She goes with the theory that it is because of the other kids...she always says that if one kid says something is gross and won't eat it then all the other kids do the same. I would try not letting him have the yogurt until he eats something else first. Does he like the baby food that comes in the plastic bag looking thing that comes out the little spout? I know someone who was having issues with her toddler and eating and they just squirted that all over his food and he ate everything! Sometimes, it takes some little tricks like that to get them to eat, and IMO ya just gotta do whatever it takes! Sometimes I would mix veggies in with my LO's yogurt, just to get him to eat them. It worked.

emberlee3 · June 2011

DS is very picky. I serve a variety of foods at each meal. He eats what he wants from those choices. I don't stress if all he eats for dinner is a piece of watermelon and the croutons off his salad. He doesn't get upset because he sees at least 1 or 2 things on his plate that he likes. He sometimes tries new things, and at least he sees us eating different foods.

92405bride · June 2011

My daughter is a pretty good eater, and usually has 2 helpings for lunch at daycare. Some nights she'll just pick at her food at home, or be all cranky about it and have a tantrum and we just get her down and that's that.

Remember, if they eat a lot all day, they just really might not be hungry for dinner. A toddler truly does not need a lot to sustain themselves and some days they literally aren't going to be that hungry. Other days they'll eat everything in sight.

tanyak16 · June 2011

92405bride:

My daughter is a pretty good eater, and usually has 2 helpings for lunch at daycare. Some nights she'll just pick at her food at home, or be all cranky about it and have a tantrum and we just get her down and that's that.

Remember, if they eat a lot all day, they just really might not be hungry for dinner. A toddler truly does not need a lot to sustain themselves and some days they literally aren't going to be that hungry. Other days they'll eat everything in sight.

This is my 18-month-old to a T. He eats at ton at school, and he eats pretty decently at dinner most nights, but nothing like I hear how he eats at school. And some nights, he just picks at dinner - he ate half a slice of pizza last night and one corn on the cob the night before. Then he gets down, plays for a few minutes, gets his bath, has some milk and goes to sleep without much fuss. I figure if he's still hungry, he'll be much crankier. I've just decided his appetite is bigger during the day.

lil_nette4 · June 2011

DS has started fussing during lunch and dinner too, but I know he eats everything at daycare. I really agree with people when they say having other "bigger" kids around does aid in compliance. I've learned that if DH or I eat alittle off his plate he will get on board. If that doesn't work I let him sit there till eats at least 50 percent of what's on his plate.

I used to get really frustrated when I would put his plate down and he would fuss, but I've learned to give him some time to "explore" it and he may eat after a couple of minutes.

lil_nette4 · June 2011

DS has started fussing during lunch and dinner too, but I know he eats everything at daycare. I really agree with people when they say having other "bigger" kids around does aid in compliance. I've learned that if DH or I eat alittle off his plate he will get on board. If that doesn't work I let him sit there till eats at least 50 percent of what's on his plate.

I used to get really frustrated when I would put his plate down and he would fuss, but I've learned to give him some time to "explore" it and he may eat after a couple of minutes.

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