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mommyjenny257mommyjenny257
in Single Parents

I found out on Monday night (2 days after I had returned to work from Maternity Leave) that my husband has been cheating on me for the last 6 months (so while I was 8 months pregnant and throughout my post-pardum).  Specifically, he has a girlfriend in another city where he goes regularly for Army Reserve Drills as well as he has slept with his ex-wife on two separate occassions also while out of town for Army related training.  I've suspected that he has been cheating and have been asking him for the last two months.  He finally admitted it.  When asked if he was sorry, he said no.  It is my fault that he cheated, that he wasn't getting enough sex from me (um did I mention I was 8 months pregnant when he decided to find a girlfriend?).  He feels that he should be getting sex from me EVERY DAY!!  Despite how many times I've told him that is impossibel.

I have a 3 month old son whom I adore greatly.  I hate that he will never know what it was like to have his parents together, but with a father like his, I know I'm doing the right thing.

Yesterday, I filed for divorce.  It was the hardest thing I have ever done, to have to make a decision about when I'm willing to be without my son so that he may see his father.  Even worse, my husband has admitted on two separate occassions that he would terminate his parental rights if I would allow him to not pay child support.  Of course, that is not legal, so he's stuck.  And why would I ever want to let him have my son if I know for a fact, he really doesn't want him?

I moved out of our house this week due to him badgering me and he got in my face one night while arguing.  He still thinks he did no wrong, but also says he doesn't want to stay married to me (as if I'd allow him to).

I'm bitter, I'm in shock, I'm numb, and all I can think about is how to protect my son and myself. 

Any and all advice will be accepted.  :)

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  • achase123achase123

    I am very sorry you're going through this.  Any and all support that you can get during this time would be great (family, friends, counseling, etc).  I had a similar experience to you, although my ex never actually admitted to cheating. 

     Don't let him off the hook for CS.  That's his obligation to your child.  You are correct that, first and foremost, you must protect your child.  I hope you are receiving legal counsel.  Even though it's expensive, it is worth it. 

    We are all here for you as well.  GL!

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  • DarthNBJenniDarthNBJenni
    Is the Army his full time job? If so, they really don't allow any funny business with letting men off the hook for paying child support. That should be helpful to you.

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  • mommyjenny257mommyjenny257

    imageDarthNBJenni:
    Is the Army his full time job? If so, they really don't allow any funny business with letting men off the hook for paying child support. That should be helpful to you.

     He's actually in the Reserves now, so no it's not full timr.  But I do plan to find a way to contact his CO and let him know what has happened since the army does frown on those sort of actions.

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  • PrincessFiona9PrincessFiona9 member

    Sorry you're having to go through this! This is a great place for advice and support.

    My best friend has these same fears, that her DH is cheating on her when he goes to drill for the Reserves. It's sad to know that men who are supposed to have so much honor can be just as much a douchebag as the next guy...

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  • FalinyFaliny member
    Well I have no advise for you, but just wanted to tell you I am sorry about your situation and to stay strong. Let those emotions help drive you to make a better life. My husband filed for divorce the other day, so I am in the same boat but different reasons. Good luck MommyJenny257 and just know that everything will work out fine, just stay strong!
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  • KR1505KR1505

    Once again, I stop lurking because I am completely boggled by a man's idiocy.  He thinks you should be having sex every day?!  Sure, that's an easy feat for his ex-wife and mistress.  Anyone can have sex "every day" when you only see the other person for a weekend at a time, and you don't have babies to take care of.  I'm sure EVERY man would like sex every day.  But seriously, I think that must've been an excuse. 

    It sounds like the impending birth of your baby took priority in your life (which it should), and his frail ego couldn't handle it.  I bet he and the ex-wife divorced for similar reasons.

    Make sure you talk to his CO.  The girl my ex cheated with and knocked up made sure to tell everyone she could.  (my ex was USMC).  COs, NCOs, pretty much anyone who answered the base phone.  (I didn't care enough to follow up with that).  If nothing else, you might be able to get CS automatically deducted from his Reservist pay. 

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  • SoldiersGreenBeanSoldiersGreenBean
    imageMommyJenny257:

    imageDarthNBJenni:
    Is the Army his full time job? If so, they really don't allow any funny business with letting men off the hook for paying child support. That should be helpful to you.

     He's actually in the Reserves now, so no it's not full timr.  But I do plan to find a way to contact his CO and let him know what has happened since the army does frown on those sort of actions.

    They also frown on cheating; it's punishable under the UCMJ should his CO choose to pursue that route.  Definitely get in contact with his chain of command.

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