Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: Herniated Disc From Pregnancy
My situation isn't exactly the same, but I started having severe mid-back pain 8 months after my girls were born. My general practioner had me on every muscle relaxer possible, physical therapy, etc. She made me do all this before getting an MRI. And when she finally agreed to give me one, she did it of the lumbar spine, even though I thought the pain was in my thoracic. My lumbar MRI showed I had a herniated disc. However, I finally went to an orthopedic who told me there was no way the pain was caused by the herniated disc since it was in the L5/S1 position and my pain was higher. I had a thoracic MRI and found out I had a spinal tumor. At that point, it was compressing my spine so much that my orthopedic sent me right to a neurosurgeon, who told me to go home and pack my bags because I was being admitted for emergency surgery. He was afraid to wait even a few weeks because he said I'd be at risk for being paralyzed from the waist down. I had a laminectomy to remove the tumor the following morning.
So although my reason for surgery was different, I thought I'd share my experience in case you have to go through back surgery. I had to lay flat in the hospital for 5 days. During this time, my parents came to our house and stayed with the girls so my H could be with me in the hospital. After that, my mom lived with us for 5 weeks until I was able to lift the girls again. It's been almost 4 months since the surgery. It's been a slow healing process, but I'm starting to feel back to myself (even started running again a few weeks ago).
I'm so sorry you're going through severe back pain. It is such a horrible thing to go through at any point, let alone while having to care for two infants. I hope the neurosurgeon can help you and that there may be some alternative to give you relief, other than surgery. GL at your appointment!
How to tell my boys apart
The different types of twins and triplets
Jack, Sydney and Carynne, Annaleigh, JW, Eden...forever in our hearts.
My blog * We made the national news!
How to tell my boys apart
The different types of twins and triplets
Jack, Sydney and Carynne, Annaleigh, JW, Eden...forever in our hearts.
My blog * We made the national news!
Peakay, I'm so happy to hear you say that! I've been told I'll eventually need surgery, and all I can compare it to is how my 85 year old grandma recovered from hers, which has been scary to think about doing with 3 kids.
I've had lower back issues after each of my two pregnancies. The issue is that your core muscles are really weak after pregnancy so your back is doing all the work. And you're lifting babies and bending over and sitting and doing a lot of other things that are hard on your back. My first herniated disc was actually in high school, and I've had many episodes in the 15 years since.
When your back muscles are spasming, you really need to completely rest them - no lifting babies, sitting with poor posture, driving, whatever flares it up for you. I don't say that lightly - I know what it's like to literally never sit in a chair for 2 to 4 weeks and how emotional it is to leave most of the care of your babies to someone else for awhile.
I also think my regular trips to the chiropractor help make physical therapy a lot more effective.
Good luck! I've always done everything I could to avoid surgery for as long as possible and stick with less invasive options. If your specialists start talking surgery, remember to get second opinions on the surgeons and the type of surgery they recommend.
How to tell my boys apart
The different types of twins and triplets
Jack, Sydney and Carynne, Annaleigh, JW, Eden...forever in our hearts.
My blog * We made the national news!
I had such bad back, hip and leg pain starting when the girls were about 7-8 months. Finally when they were about 10 months I went to a chiropractor. I'd never been to one before, but I figured it was my best shot at immediate relief, since I could barely walk. And I wouldn't be pumped full of meds, which I don't tend to handle well, and I wouldn't be able to take and care of the girls as a SAHM on them. I figured if it didn't work, then I would go to a GP or Ortho.
The chiropractor sent me for some x-rays and based on those, she said that I may have a slight herniation and definitely had sciatica. She said that the treatment she'd recommend for me would be the same if there were a herniation or not, so I opted not to have the MRI done.
I've had a couple of months of chiropractic adjustments, and acupuncture and I feel better than I ever have! She has also done some treatments on my c-section scar to break up scar tissue that can attach itself to the muscle fashia and connective tissues which can cause things to be pulled out of alignment. My spine was so jacked from the pregnancy that she told me to think of this like an orthodontist would treat poorly aligned teeth - it's not a quick fix, one time treatment, but a schedule of treatments that show improvement over time. I noticed an improvement after the first visit, and a steady improvement ever since, so I'm glad I stuck with it. It may be something worth trying if you really want to avoid surgery.
BFP #2 10/13/2009 on our 2nd Wedding Anniversary
Discovered TWINS during the 6w u/s - what a shocker!
Delivered on 5/19/2010 at 34 weeks due to pre-e and HELLP syndrome
The Bump MoM Recipe Collection
What about the epidural steroid injections? I tried one, and it made my pain worse, but that was very atypical. That might be a great solution for you!
How to tell my boys apart
The different types of twins and triplets
Jack, Sydney and Carynne, Annaleigh, JW, Eden...forever in our hearts.
My blog * We made the national news!
I am hoping that they will give me one! And I hope I don't have the same reaction to it that you did pea-kay!
#1 BFP 1/10/11; missed m/c discovered 7w5d
IF Dx: Endo, hetero MTHFR mutation, poor morphology
#1 IUI: 1/18/12 = BFN
#1 IVF/ICSI 4/2/12 = 2 x 7-cell and 1 x 5-cell transferred (3dt) = BFP!!
H was born at 41w2d on 12/29/12 - be still my heart!
#2 IVF/ICSI 1/19/14 = 2 x 8 cells transferred (3dt) = BFP!! EDD 10/09/14
M&W born at 37 weeks on 9/18/14 - I am the momma of 3 boys!!!