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What's the best advice you got going from 1 to 2 kiddos?

ktwdw129ktwdw129
in Austin Babies

Next week is my due date (yikes!) and I'm getting nervous of course going from one little one (who is 4) to two little ones.

What is the best advice you've got to share with me in going from 1 to having two? Would love anything you'd like to share.

Thanks!

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Re: What's the best advice you got going from 1 to 2 kiddos?

  • molliedbmolliedb

    divide & conquer :)

    maybe a few new activities or adventures planned for older DD so she can do some exciting stuff, get one on one attention from dad (or grandma etc) while you focus on healing and bonding with the baby. 

    also including DD and letting her help take care of the baby is wonderful.  in the next week looking at lots of pictures of her when she was a newborn/baby and talking about what she was like as a baby, etc so she remembers she was tiny and special and made you a mommy.   i know my oldest loves hearing that she used to be as tiny as the baby, that what the baby is wearing was once hers, etc.  :)

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  • TayteeTaytee

    Never tell the older child they/we/you can't do something because of the baby. It can breed resentment. Find another way to say it. Try not to even ask them to be quiet because the baby is sleeping. Just whisper and LO will follow. Say "We can go to the park tomorrow morning" not "We can't go outside right now because the baby is sleeping" etc. Obviously there will be times when you can't avoid saying it a certain way but just try to make an effort out of making it not focused on blaming the baby ;)

    Meet the older child's needs first. Again, take this with a grain of salt but if the baby needs to be breastfed and the older child wants a snack, try to give the older child a snack first then settle in to feed the baby. If you're already busy feeding baby, ask "Can you give ME 5 minutes and then I'll get you ____" 

    Abby never was much wanting to "mommy" Emily but I feel the above 2 things really helped establish that she was still a priority in my life.

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  • NoVA-grlNoVA-grl
    No advice since I'm about to go from 1 kiddo to 2 kiddos myself, but just wanted to say that I'm glad you posted this and I'm keeping an eye on the responses :-) 
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  • maribel922maribel922
    imageTaytee:

    Never tell the older child they/we/you can't do something because of the baby. It can breed resentment. Find another way to say it. Try not to even ask them to be quiet because the baby is sleeping. Just whisper and LO will follow. Say "We can go to the park tomorrow morning" not "We can't go outside right now because the baby is sleeping" etc. Obviously there will be times when you can't avoid saying it a certain way but just try to make an effort out of making it not focused on blaming the baby ;)

    Meet the older child's needs first. Again, take this with a grain of salt but if the baby needs to be breastfed and the older child wants a snack, try to give the older child a snack first then settle in to feed the baby. If you're already busy feeding baby, ask "Can you give ME 5 minutes and then I'll get you ____" 

      This.  Take care of your older DC's needs first. 

    Also, it's hard, but try to get out.  It was really intimidating for me at first to try to run to HEB or Target, but being cooped up in my house was driving me batty.  I put little DS in a sling and it wasn't as bad as I thought it might be.  Slings rock.  I love my Ergo.

    Also try to remember that you whereas temporarily you are totally rocking DC's world, in just a very few short months you are also giving them a sibling.  It's hard at first to grow a family, but my kids get so much joy from each other these days and it is one of the best things in the world to see! 

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  • jgb2000jgb2000
    That it will still be all about the first kid. Her schedule, making sure she gets alone time w/mommy, including her as the Helper, etc.
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  • NoisemakerNoisemaker

    I definitely agree about including the older one in taking care of the baby, and not blaming the baby for inconveniences, etc. 

    My favorite piece of advice came from my old pediatrician in Houston--I was worried about giving enough of my time and attention to each child after #2 came, and he told me to remember that you've now given each of them the best gift ever, a sibling.  And he also said that when I feel bad for not doing something as thoroughly or early with the second baby as I did with the first, remember that she's learning from big sister, too, and that's an advantage that the first never got.   He basically gave me permission to give myself a break.  :-) 

    Two is hard sometimes, I won't lie, but it's so much fun, too!  Watching those girls together makes for some of the best moments of every day.  

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  • NoisemakerNoisemaker
    dup
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  • ec3under4ec3under4
    The best advice that anybody ever gave me was, when you are talking to your older child about the baby, always refer to it as "your baby"(as in your olders baby). This gives ownership to your oldest. It helps them to realize that it isn't just yours but it's everybody and that the baby is as much theirs as it is yours. It made a huge difference for us. Good luck!!
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