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Washington Babies
Brothers!
SOS help!
I feel like we are still in "survival mode" over here. Jagger still sleeps horrible at 5 months old. He goes down at around 7:30 and is up at 11, 2, 4 and then thinks he is up for the day at 5am. Dh and I have been taking shifts where I get up all night with him and then he gets up at 5 with him but that is taking a toll on us too. To make things worse he wants to be held ALL.DAY.LONG! When he is not being held and this means not just sitting on the couch with him he wants to be held facing out and wants you to walk around with him, if not he screams! I'm not sure if I have ppd or its just that my baby is driving me nuts? Then to top it off we have nights like last night where Cruz was also up all night with growing pains and I don't even want to get out of sweats the next day! I was waiting to start sleep training until after the 4th of july when we get back from vacation. I've tried occasionally during naptime to let him cry it out a bit and it ends up being 45 min of screaming torture. J is so much different than Cruz was I'm just at a loss, and I also feel like I'm going nuts. It makes me want to go back to work just to get away from the screaming all day : ( Help!
Brothers!
This discussion has been closed.
Re: SOS help!
No real help on sleep here. I assume you are making sure he's getting decent naps during the day so he's not overtired, keeping the house dark and talk to a minimum at night, etc. I'd have to say his sleep pattern sounds normal to me.
Do you have a decent baby carrier? At 5 months you could start putting him on your back and then have your hands free to do other things. As long as I'm moving, Isaac still likes to hang out on my back.
I'm going to make an AWESOME big brother.
Good luck and I really really really hope you find some solace soon!
I have ideas - but sometimes not always PC.
We did CIO at 5 months - it works and it's wonderful (for my kids)
We did Formula (I can't remember if you BF) if you are on formula, you can start watering it down at night.
And do the kids have seperate rooms? That is what works best too.
Plus we also did white noise or music, so it doesn't make the baby feel alone all night
Easter 2011
We do formula - why start watering down? What does it do?!
I think the hard thing about infants is that they have completely different sleep requirements than adults and it's hard for us to remember what's normal when we are as exhausted as we are.
And, unfortunately, I think there are good sleepers and there kids who take longer to develop good sleep habits.
William, for the most part, has been a good sleeper at 5 months, he was still up 4 - 5 times a night. Now, at 8 months, he's up 1 - 2 times a night and we're doing some good sleep training to move things forward. He's also a completely different kid than Madelyn. He's definately less independent, so helping him learn to self soothe has taken on a different look and feel than it does for Madelyn. With him, a straight CIO isn't going to work. It just ramps him up more. If I peek in and soothe him for a minute, I find that he's much calmer and is learning, on his own how to do that.
Madelyn was a HORRIBLE sleeper. HORRIBLE. Tiff, I remember her waking up every two hours at 8 months old. I thought I was going to die. I really did. And she's also an incredibly independent kid (well, except for this separation anxiety we're going through). So, for her, a straight CIO worked. She got MORE ramped up if I went in. She had to (and did!) work it out for herself.
She also had to be held upright and be a part of things constantly at that stage. She'd scream like a banshee if she wasn't. She lived in the Moby to keep her happy and content.
William is so mellow, he doesn't need that as much.
So I guess all of this is to say that at 5 months, it's not unusual for him to not have it down just yet.
And having two kids this close in age SUCKS at times....but I'm here to tell you, it will get better.
And if that means you're in sweats for the first year...then you are, give yourself permission to do what you need to.
Get yourself a good carrier and use it - it can be life saver.
Jagger is just not coming into the time frame when he should start to regulate his sleeping patterns. Remember the 2, 3, 4 rule of naps and sleeping (it's in a couple of different references - if you don't know it, page me and I"ll post it). With Madelyn, I didn't know that babies had those tendencies to nap in those waves. With Will, I did, and I remember wondering to myself even a month or 6 weeks ago when he was going to get real solid with that...and he is now - it does happen.
And if you don't, give yourself permission to guard nap times and sleep routines like a fierce dog. Sometimes you have kids that require that and you have to sit things out and prioritize their nap/sleep above all else for a period of time. It sucks, but sometimes you gotta do it.
And hang in there. Hire a babysitter if you can, just so you can get some sleep.
Big hugs! I am sorry that you are having such a tough time! A was very similar in the sleeping pattern but we started a routine for him at bedtime and have stuck to it. Days that we don't do the routine make for a longer night. Do you have anything like that for J? We do bath, bottle, sing & rock to sleep. We have tried to CIO on occasion but we usually end up giving in and getting him. Is J in your room or his own? We found that once we moved A to his crib he slept much better. We also got a room darkening shade since the sun shines right in his window and a sound machine.
I wish I had a better response for you on him wanting to be held all of the time. I know how hard that can be and wearing him isn't always easy. I hope that things get better for you soon!
My DD was like that. Give it another month.
I don't think my DD slept through the night until....well....you don't want to know, but she did get better over time and she STTN just fine at 5 years old
I remember being so happy because I could put DD down for 10-15 minutes without her crying at a little after 6 months.
You aren't going to change J but if you let it play out it gets better and by 2 you won't even be needed anymore. I always tell myself that all babies/toddlers/kids need the same amount of attention. Some want it all in the first 6 months, others want a little bit all the time, some need pockets of attention a certain times. It is just part of them feeling secure so that they are ready to grow and take on the world.
We are planning on CIO after the 4th of July when we get home and trasitioning him to his crib from the RnP. We are now doing formula butcan't water it down because he has reflux and we thicken it to begin with. I need to get a white noise machine for both boys even though they are in seperate rooms!
PS - I also think that the hardest thing about having two is that they are SO DIFFERENT.
Alex was so easy compred to Willow...but that's not how I should think about it - lately I've made an effort to say - I appreciate Willow for BEING DIFFERENT.
Easter 2011
Tiff is J still suffering from reflux? Is it under control? If he still has reflux, I would STRONGLY suggest against CIO. Our GI has emphatically told us that CIO has been linked to flare ups in refluxer. Not what you really need. With DD if she gets worked up, instant puke fest.
There are so many factors that could be causing little J's distress. He could just be a poor sleeper and some are. DS still gets up 3 times a night. DD was a good sleeper but has turned to sh!t due to reflux and food issues. It took me 6 weeks to figure out the cause. So I would make sure that his reflux is under control, that the acid is well controlled, and I would try letting him sleep in a swing. Most refluxers need constant movement. I think I learned this from M&M. DD was not that refluxer. But it sounds like J needs to movement. So sleeping in a swing might work. Good Luck.
I'm so sorry you're having a hard time. Man, sleep deprivation is the WORST! Ugh. I don't have much advice beyond what everyone else has said, but I totally empathize with you. We had the same issues until we did CIO at 6 months. He's been sleeping all night (most of the time anyway) ever since. Best thing I've ever done for my sanity!
Regarding him not wanting to be put down, we had the same issue as well. We got a Jumperoo and though it took him a little time to warm up to it, he ended up really enjoying himself in it. He'd play in it for 20-30 minutes at a time, which would allow me to get a bite to eat, go to the bathroom, start laundry, etc. We'd also sit him in his bouncy seat and turn on 30 minutes of Baby Einstein. Oh my god, those videos were a lifesaver at that time! (Yes, I felt weird about him watching TV that young, but we were desperate.)
For naps, I used to give him a bottle and hold him until he fell asleep, then ease him into his swing with the white noise machine going at full blast. It was the only way he'd sleep during the day for the longest time!
Hang in there. I know it sucks and you're going crazy, but it WILL get better. HUGS!
I totally forgot this until you mentioned it - Madelyn slept in a swing for a long period of time - until she outgrew her reflux.