How did you learn about S - E - X ??

DavezWife · June 2011

I was just thinking about this after the camp post below...

sing it now... Let's talk about sex, babe-bee, let's talk about you and ..... lol.

How, and what age, did you learn about "the birds and the bees"?

How, and what age, did you learn about the FUN part of it, i.e. BJ's, etc.

How, and what age, do you think you'll teach your kids about it all?

annnnn go!

schmoodle · June 2011

As sad as this is, I have no recollection of ever NOT knowing. So clearly learned it all at a very young age, but no idea when or anything specific. This includes the mechanics/background info as well as the fact that there are nuances and things that are done for fun and not making babies. I attribute it to (a) having (significantly - 4 years and 7 years) older brothers who always had friends around and young boys are not shy about talking about that stuff, and (b) the fact that my parents are very liberal and never would have shielded me from explicit reading material/movies, etc.

ETA: I haven't given much thought to Toodle yet. If he asks, I'll tell him. If not, I don't know, 8-9?

DavezWife · June 2011

How, and what age, did you learn about "the birds and the bees"?

I think I was about 10, with two younger brothers that appeared sans explanation. My dad sat me down in front of a NOVA program that showed the ACTUAL footage of what it looks like inside, from moment of conception to birth. Yeh. Brain bleach, please. He closed that lesson with 'If you don't respect yourself, no one else will." and that's the last I heard about sex until my wedding, when he just laughed at me when I walked in the room the next day.

How, and what age, did you learn about the FUN part of it, i.e. BJ's, etc.

On a raft in the middle of a lake in Hayward, WI. My bestie at the time, lost her virginity to one of her brother's friends. We were 14 at the time, and I had NO idea we were suppsed to be liking boys at that point, really. I felt REALLY far behind. She made it sound like so much fun, and I was like "don't boys stink?" still at that point. I learned the nuances of stuff in my late teens, I guess, from some naughty books I found snooping while babysitting, and from my raunchy friends, I guess.

How, and what age, do you think you'll teach your kids about it all?

To me, it seems kids are so sexualized soooo early these days. I think (and I've NOT read up on this yet) that I'll start with small talk around age 8?? be matter of fact and simple, and over the next couple years make it clear that we as their parents expect them to wait until they're in a "very special relationship" to share a thing like sex. And that there are dangers and consequences to having that in a relationship, and the longer they wait, the better off they'll be. (nutshell)

lrrb · June 2011

Haha this has been a hot topic for my mommy friends and I recently (well the when will you tell your kids part) and honestly it SCARES THE CRAP OUT OF ME. I have NO idea when I will tell them or how. I feel totally il-equiped to teach my children about this stuff haha. But I know if I don't do it first someone else will haha. So maybe when they are 10 or so we will have "the talk". Do you think thats too late? I have no idea and the though makes me really freak out haha.

How, and what age, did you learn about "the birds and the bees"? For me learned about it from a friend who's dad was an OBGYN she has this book that had these drawings that well showed what was going on. Thats was some scary stuff for an 8/9 year old haha. But I really learned about it in sex ed in 4th grade. I don't think my mom and dad talked about it with me but then again maybe they did, its been way to long haha. How, and what age, did you learn about the FUN part of it, i.e. BJ's, etc.I learned about this in middle school bc I had some friends that were pretty crazy. I was a little angel church girl but couldn't get enough of their crazy stories...haha. How, and what age, do you think you'll teach your kids about it all?See above.....

shipoopiisforme · June 2011

i don't remember how old i was but my mom sat down with me and this book: https://www.amazon.com/Where-Did-Come-Peter-Mayle/dp/0818402539

i think i learned about the "fun" stuff in 8th grade watching skinemax with friends.

i can't even imagine discussing this with my kids, luckily i have a few years to worry about all of that!

JustaKidAtHeart · June 2011

How, and what age, did you learn about "the birds and the bees"? young...My sister and I were the youngest cousins. My grandparents bought condoms in bulk at costco to keep in every room of her house. we would know what cousin was getting some because playing in the backyard the box would be in the window. If we stayed the night at grandmas she always had to change the sheets and look for used condoms that didnt make it into the trash (gross!)

How, and what age, did you learn about the FUN part of it, i.e. BJ's, etc. Once again grandparents/cousins so very young. My family isnt shy at all especially my dads side. First time my grandpa met DH he asked him if I gave good head. Yeah it was Christmas.

How, and what age, do you think you'll teach your kids about it all? Young... I think it better to progress the convo starting with private areas at a very young age.

Magoy · June 2011

I'm pretty sure my sister and older cousin told me what I needed to know. But, apparently not accurately.

True story: Up until I began having sex, I thought the guy's "happy ending" was like a germ. Something that existed, but you didn't really see. So, getting pregnant happened because I was "exposed" internally to his sperm. I thought that wearing a condom prevented the exposure, which was true... except it was also there to catch the byproduct, so to speak. It was months after I had sex for the first time before I figured it all out. Boy was I surprised (and grossed out!!) with that one.

I have no idea when we'll talk about it. My niece is going into the 6th grade and they just watched the puberty video. It all scares the crap out of me!

AvaLikeLava · June 2011

My grandma was a prude so my mom didn't get ANY support / education from her mom. So she vowed not to repeat the same mistake. Instead she did a 180 lean and over-shared X-(

I can't remember an age of ever not knowing about sex. Honestly, it was actually embarrassing for ME to have to have that conversation again and again.

The fun stuff? Probably jr high?

I'd like to talk to the boys about it early. At least the concept of it as soon as they ask.

AvaLikeLava · June 2011

DavezWife:
To me, it seems kids are so sexualized soooo early these days.

I agree with this, but to be honest, I don't think it's because parents are having conversation about sex at an earlier age. I think it's because people don't do a good enough job explaining self-respect and personal limits.

Did I loose my virginity WAY younger than I should've? Yes. But I didn't do it because my mom told me about sex. I did it because I was insecure and didn't have the personal strength to ask to wait.

I fully expect my kids to have pre-marital sex. But I want them to do it when they feel emotionally ready. Not just curious. And not just because they feel that they have to. That is where the self respect comes in. (And of course being boys, I want them to have respect for their partners too).

Courted · June 2011

I know I was 10 when I leanred about it all...I lived in a nice safe bubble. I remember sitting down with me and telling me about it with a book! LOL

I have no idea when I will tel my kiddos. It seems like kids know so much earlier these days!

LuckySunshineBaby · June 2011

How, and what age, did you learn about "the birds and the bees"?

The basics? I was 7. My Aunt was a freshman Phsych major (she lasted one semester). She brow beat my mom into answering questions I DID NOT yet have. It involved a terrible cartoon version of the basics with two very plump cartoons that my Aunt rented from the library (geared towards kids). It was awful and strange. I'm not sure I walked away understanding more than I did before. I was pretty clueless/sheltered. My Mom really tried to encourage open dialogue (similar to a pp, her mom had been an over-sharer since my Mom's grandma had been super conservative). My Mom tried to strike a balance. But I was the product of a teenage pregnancy, so the birth control aspect was clearly explained: If you so much as look at penis=you will get pregnant. The pill and a condom didn't work for fertile myrtle parents of mine, so I was brought up to believe the women in our family were prone to get knocked up and quickly married (parents have a great marriage on a side note).

How, and what age, did you learn about the FUN part of it, i.e. BJ's, etc.

At least high school. I faked like I knew what was what with friends, but I was out of high school before I had sex and had little understanding as to the basics of the fun stuff. DH was a few years older (and significantly more experienced) so he helped explain some of the finer points Stick out tongue

How, and what age, do you think you'll teach your kids about it all?

As they ask. I'll won't let it get to late (8-9?) since I started my period at 10. I have a delusional fantasy my Dad will sit my daughters down and scare the ever loving **it out of them like he did me. However, I think it's just a fantasy. I want to walk a fine line between educating them (I took all of my BFF's and little sis to get on the pill, so while I was still not doing it I was scared enough they were/would get pregnant and knew what was responsible) and creating enough understanding about self respect.

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